Tuesday, November 25, 2014

November 25th, 2014 Never Immune

November 25th, 2014 Never Immune

This journey we're on and how we relate, it's powerful. As different as we may very well be, we're also very much the same, just at different points along our trek. When I read a blog of a friend and they're describing extremely difficult struggle, it takes me back there--right there, when and where it all seemed out of sorts. 

I've read a few blogs lately, so well describing the deepest, darkest struggle and I realize, I could have written it almost word for word not too long ago. Different points along the trek, indeed. Maybe they'll read mine and if so, I hope they gain hope and believe all is not lost; there is such a thing as a dramatic turnaround. I read theirs, occasionally offer some words of encouragement as best I know how (sometimes I don't know how) and leave with a powerful reminder that I'm never too far removed, I'm never immune--I'm just like them, traveling the same road, at a different place.

In one way, I'm not like them. They're better than me in the courage department.

I admire the courage, the raw bravery to bare it all right in the middle of the deepest struggle. I can't say I ever did--not at the worst of it. Oh sure, I would occasionally post lengthy pages about how I was going to recover from wherever I was--but I always tried my best to be as positive as I could be--call it what it was, false enthusiasm--not deliberate dishonesty, more of trying to convince myself I could turn it around and knowing a negative perspective wouldn't help me. No amount of positive attitude worked, until one day, it did.

I wish I could pinpoint the exact element contributing to the turnaround, I've tried--and I can't seem to put it into words. We want to help our friends who are struggling, we want to say the right things, but sometimes all we can do is let them know we're here and we understand, and it can change. It can get better.

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Today was a fairly decent day, right solid I would venture. I loved the food and had a blast at the YMCA this afternoon. I'm proud of myself for not waiting until late to workout. I finished by 5:20pm with enough time to get home and prepare dinner before my weekly weight loss support group call.

The sugar free items I ordered for Thanksgiving were delivered today (see the tweet pics below). I'm ready for a wonderful Thanksgiving. I'll focus on family and the fundamentals of my plan--and that includes, at the very minimum, a brisk 5K walk, tracking everything just like any other day, NO sugar, picture and calorie Tweets--and I'll do it all with plenty of extra calories (1,000) just in case. As long as I maintain the integrity of my plan, I will guarantee a great feeling come bedtime Thursday night.

I had an online chat tonight with the director of the play for which I didn't audition. Chris is the only director I've ever worked with (two different projects). He basically told me I would have had a role had I walked through the door. Uhg!!! He also seemed to understand where I was with it all. It's just not good timing. The great news is, he has an incredible cast and he's very excited about bringing it all together and I'm really excited to see it in mid-January!

Tomorrow morning is weigh day at the doctors office! This will be my 31 week weigh-in! I can't believe it's been 31 weeks since changing direction. Time flies, doesn't it?

My Tweets today:






















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

16 comments:

  1. Just a little reminder that your blog is for you most importantly. I know positive self talk is important but do it for yourself, not all us readers. We take from your posts what we need to hear, positive and negative. Over the years of reading your blog I've seen that raw bravery in you as you've seen in others. You have so much to be proud of. You are my inspiration.

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    1. Leah, thank you for the reminder! I've often given the exact same words-- it is, first and foremost, for me and I've done what I could do/handle, over the years.
      I sincerely appreciate you very much. I feel good about what this diary has given me and I'm also honored and proud that it's helped you, too!
      Thank you again, Leah!

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  2. thanks for your initial message. Sometimes when you're getting started it feels like you're so far off that you are might not ever get there. I always find you inspiring but even more so when you empathize and relate even to those of us who are very green. I know ultimately this blog is for you, but I know that like many others , I feel like it's for me too. And I never fail to take away something from it. Have a great thanksgiving!

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    1. Alati-- thank you very much for this kind and sincere message!

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  3. Sean, you have more courage than I think you give yourself credit for. Its fine to admire the courage of others, I do the same. And I fall into the same temptation. I could never write something that raw when I was at my worst. Its just too vulnerable and, frankly, more than I'm willing to share publicly. I truly admire what you've shared and it has been an inspiration for me.

    I don't know if this helps, but my reboot on this journey wasn't a 'moment', either. I think it was more momentum (pardon the pun). You were a part of getting that train in motion, but action didn't happen as soon as I put down Transformation Road or after reading one of your posts. I think several moments had to 'get out and push'. Not that it matters. Where we are is perfect. Good luck with the weigh in. I have no doubt it will be another signpost that you're doing terrific.

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    1. Lance, I'm really liking your perspective. You're so right--instead of one big defining moment--it's the culmination of a bunch of moments, "getting out and pushing," creating the momentum!! Where we are is right where we need to be, most of the time! Thank you again, Lance--and really, I know you're right--I may not give myself enough credit. I'm not sure why that's difficult, but it is sometimes. Like only seeing the shortcomings instead of the larger amount of good...

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  4. Thank you ALWAYS for your comments on my posts. I try to put it out there because it helps me at the time and in the future when I look back . More importantly, occasionally someone comments about how they never comment but that post was written for them.

    We are always on different roads. So many blogs are out there and everyone has different perspectives and sometimes I forget and compare myself. I have to remember I was obese as a child, started bingeing as a child, and reached 345 lbs which is a different story , though similar, from those who have much less to lose. I always remind myself to take what I need from others' examples, ignore what I don't relate to, but also give where I can. You are a giver, buddy. Happy Thanksgiving.

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    1. PJ, thank you!! We are givers, aren't we? Absolutely!
      Great point about relating along this road-- we can be very different, physically--history and such...but share some of the same patterns and dynamics along this road--and it's a very powerful connection because it reinforces the soothing of "I'm not alone."

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  5. Sean, thank you again for a great blog. And great to see that you are prioritizing right now. Your health and sleep first, you will be back on stage in time, when the time is right for you. just as with food and exercise you are not letting short term overwhelm the long term. Congratulations!

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    1. A, thank you! "just as with food and exercise you are not letting short term overwhelm the long term." Well said!!! I know you're right!! All in time!! And you're very welcome!

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    1. Thank you, MNWF!! Happy Thanksgiving to you, too! And thank you for the virtual hugs!

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  7. I remember when one of my sons began his first full-time, 9-to-5 job. He looked at me and said, with astonishment, "Man, weekends are a lot more significant now that I'm working" :) Yes. Yes, they are.

    Work gave weekends their full meaning.

    Unless you experience shadow, light will not seem as bright; without sorrow, joy evades the senses. It is not to be feared, but embraced--lived. It has its own lessons to teach--it's own reward to produce.

    Seeing the positive aspects to things was an age-old (See Philippians)
    instruction that brought a balanced view of reality, but it has morphed into "thinking positively," pushing reality away via spin and cheating us of depth, truth and real growth...just like weekends only reach their true potential for enjoyment if they come at the end ow a week's work.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. Joy will come in due time.

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    1. Deb--excellent example, my friend. Thank you!! Joy will, absolutely! I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

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  8. Happy Thanksgiving as it will be with your sugar-free special orders. Again I learn from you! I wouldn't have thought about ordering something specially made from a bakery. How neat. Enjoy your family and the day Sean!
    N~

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    1. Nancy, thank you! Those sugar free items were not on their regular menu--I had to ask the question, "Could you make any of these things sugar free, with stevia?" And they said they would certainly give it a shot! It's been a couple of days since this post-- and I can tell you now, those items were amazing!!! Had you been anywhere close to me, Nancy, I would have shared!

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