Monday, November 24, 2014

November 24th, 2014 Different Kind of Struggle

November 24th, 2014 Different Kind of Struggle

I struggled today. Not with food and exercise, though. I struggled with my desire to express my artistic side Vs. the reality that I have a busy full time career and two projects I'm extremely passionate about that need my attention. The auditions taking place tonight and tomorrow evening were heavy on my mind.

I've always wanted to act, and I had the opportunity when I landed a lead role in Call Me Henry after my first audition in 2009. It was a wonderful experience. It was a heavily dramatic role, opposite my natural personality, in other words, it was a lot of fun!

All day long I wrestled with this desire to audition, but also knowing it's the worst possible time of year for me.

See? This is what happens. When I feel better mentally, emotionally and physically--I start wanting to do things--everything I felt I couldn't before, suddenly I feel like I could do it all. And it isn't such a bad thing if it's tempered with reason and sanity. I need an outlet for the creative arts side of me to flourish, certainly. It's all apart of identifying things inside that bring us joy--and nurturing those things. I've identified several, I need to find the time to nurture. It's a crucial element of happiness.

I should have a date for a stand-up performance as early as tomorrow. I ended up cancelling the last one because I had too much going on. Perhaps I'll start with that and it will be enough for now.

Even though there was struggle present, I didn't allow it to affect my resolve in taking extraordinary care. I ate well today and had a great workout, too.

In order to get my brain off of the auditions, I packed some snacks and watched a movie at the theater two blocks from my apartment. Hunger Games Mockingjay was a great movie! Tomorrow night I'll be busy with the weekly weight loss support group conference call during the final auditions. Perhaps another time. If it were January or February, I would have auditioned. I'm itching to be in a production again!

My Tweets today:


















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

12 comments:

  1. Doing a show is a big commitment (I love doing musicals - but not since I had kids!) and I think you are right to put it aside for now. But not forever - maybe there will be another show when you are free to do it.

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    1. It is, Natalie! I totally agree, aside for now. Not forever!

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  2. Good job at taking care of you! I'm intrigued by those wraps, I always forget about Aldi!

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    1. The wrap worked perfectly as a crispy-thin pizza crust, too!

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  3. I am with you on this. I own a business where I get to be creative everyday but it has to be within the guidelines of what others want for their money and within the framework of the medium where the work takes place. What I want is to indulge my artistic side in ways that feed my soul. The reality is I have to feed my bank account right now.
    I find giving myself a structured time period (hour, half a day sometimes a whole day) to run with my creativity, I can get what I need for the moment. I consider that a different sort of feeding the bank - my recovery bank.

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    1. "What I want is to indulge my artistic side in ways that feed my soul. The reality is I have to feed my bank account right now."
      You, Jane--hit it square.
      Love the "recovery bank." Thank you for the wonderful advice!

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  4. Struggle to "fit creative activity into" a busy lifestyle is difficult and downright impossible at times. Your life was so busy you had to cancel your one night standup commitment - how would you fit a commitment for a play into it? Something to consider, at least right now it seems. Our creative side seems to scream for fulfillment I know. Deciding what is reasonable and possible at this time is not only going on for you Sean, but for me. Ugh

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    1. Nancy, you're very right, my friend. It does scream! Your next sentence---deciding what is reasonable and possible... that's the key!

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  5. I was in a couple plays in high school and absolutely loved it. Since my weight loss, I hadn't given a thought to auditioning for local theater productions, but it would sure be fun. My age might hold me back, not many parts for a 63-year old woman. Good luck with all you've got going on Sean. Hope you find time to do everything you want, because that is what weight loss opens up for us.The possibilities are endless...and the world is a great place again!

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    1. Dupster, I hope you'll find a production and audition!! Why not? I'm okay. Every now and then I get really wrapped up in dreaming of several things I want to do-- slowing it down and figuring out what's reasonable and workable, is key--and baby stepping it in the direction I'd like to go-- otherwise, nothing gets done except a whole lot of dreaming.
      All in time, all in time!

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  6. Maybe you need a good coach with which to bounce this creative side of you! You are a very talented writer, and radio personality, and I suspect that you'd be a great actor too. But balance is so important.

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    1. Awe, Gerri- I have a good friend who is an amazing life coach!! (wink wink)... Thank you for the compliments. You're so correct--balance is essential!!

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