Thursday, November 6, 2014

November 6th, 2014 It Isn't Willpower

November 6th, 2014 It Isn't Willpower

After reading about the big bunch of sweets delivered to our studio earlier this week, a colleague commented, "I don't know how you maintain such strong willpower." I didn't have time to properly explain to her, how this isn't about willpower. Because the truth is, I rarely use willpower.

Willpower is exercised when we're desperately trying to avoid something we truly want and crave. We will ourselves against it in whatever way we can, but we still want it, horribly so. 

When I step back and look at all the good giving up sugar has given me, the sweets lose their appeal. When I focus on the clarity and peace of mind I'm experiencing, I wouldn't trade it for all the pecan pie in the world. So, with this perspective firmly in focus...

The sweets just do not have the same attraction as when I was under the influence and blindly living in denial of my own addiction. Back then, I was convinced I could handle moderation for all things. Now that the opposite has been confirmed so strongly, the allure just isn't there. I look at a cookie and I don't see the ingredients of a delicious recipe. I look at a cookie and I see the ingredients for chaos and havoc in my life. One bite and it's all over, until I can somehow, by the grace of God, find recovery again. Looking at sugar in this way, makes it one of the most unappealing things to me. It took finally embracing my own truth to get to this place. Once I believed, embraced and started living it, this change in perspective was like flipping a switch.

This doesn't mean I'm beyond relapse. Not at all. I'm still very susceptible to the same struggles I've faced countless times before. I'm never "in the clear," so to speak. This is why I must give the things I consistently do each day an incredible amount of consideration and importance level. I must always remain on guard and be willing to step outside of my "affected self," and call it like it is. And that can be the toughest thing along this road--the getting real part, the self-honesty. It is clearly the most important element.

I've written about it before--and it's so true: I really wanted to be someone who could eat "just one bite." But that was someone else's normal, not mine. My good friend and weight loss support group conference call partner, Life Coach Gerri Helms, recently posted a wonderful blog page all about the "just one bite" dynamic. You can read it here: http://lifecoachgerri.com/2014/11/05/coaching-from-the-coach-interfering-with-intuition/

My Tweets today:














Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

20 comments:

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  2. Your post tonight is one I really needed to read. Most of your posts are ones I need but I've been thinking the sugar thing over for a few days as I believe I'm going to be one of those that need to abstain from sugar completely. I really wanted to be one that could have a bite and be satisfied. I've noticed the rest of my eating is very well under control right now but the sugar definitely is not! Sean, how long did it take before you felt the benefits you described here and in other posts of being sugar free? I want that.....badly!

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    1. I wanted to be one of those people, too, Leah! But not anymore. I sincerely hope you'll experience this very soon!

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  3. Sorry Sean, don't bother answering my question about the sugar. I see you answered it several days ago as I went back to read your responses to comments. This is weighing heavy on my mind. I also saw a MRI image of a brain on sugar compared to a brain on crack cocaine....scary!

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    1. I often wonder if people see my replies! I try my best to reply to each comment, every day. The brain certainly doesn't react that way for everyone--but for me, absolutely, every time. It acts the same as any illicit drug when I put it in my body. I no longer envy those who can do it in moderation. I accept my normal and I'm thankful to feel as good as I do now, in abstinence!

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    2. I always make a point of going back and reading the comments and replies from everyone. Lots of great information from you and your followers.

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    3. Oh, thank you! And thank you for letting me know you do go back. I spend a good deal of time replying and I always wonder if the person leaving the comment will come back to read--or if they're notified somehow of a reply. I'm so happy for your big decision!

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  4. Great post, Sean. It's so hard to witness people convinced they can moderate the very foods that they are addicted to. It's like an alcohol trying to have just one beer/wine/whatever. Addiction just doesn't work that way.

    If people only could abstain long enough to realize the clarity and peace that comes from abstinence, they would be so much happier. Congrats on realizing that!

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    1. Gwen--I was a very stubborn one when it came to this!! It took a very long time for me to get to a place of true acknowledgement and acceptance. I'm so glad I did. It's changed my life in a wonderful way. Thank you for the congrats!!

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  5. Well said Sean. justleah - my daily choice and stance on sugar is the same as Sean's and has transformed my eating habits loosing over 120 pounds this year as a result. It really is easy to resist the temptations and do not crave when you avoid all the sweetness. I strongly encourage you to experiment no added sugar and see how it effects you. Keep in mind the artificial sweeteners as they effected me as much or more than sugar. When I cut out added sugar while still consuming artificial sweeteners I still craved sugar and did not help with hunger issues. After I cut out all AS and added sugar it flipped the hunger switch off and no more cravings for sugar in my case.

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    1. Thank you, Jon! I still do Stevia without any effects--but I know we're all different! Great advice!!

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    2. Thank you Jon! I appreciate your input as well. I am marking my calendar tomorrow as being my first sugar free day. Why not today? Too late, I already consumed. That sounds horrible doesn't it!!! ;)

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    3. Leah-- Right here for you--You can do this!! I'm so excited for you!!! Don't hesitate to reach out if you need support along the way. You can email me anytime.

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    4. Thank you Sean! Without knowing it you have been here for me every day you have blogged! Thanks again :)

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  6. Great post as always Sean! Off topic but I'm loving your cups!

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    1. Thank you, Alati! I love 'em too!! Hallmark store came through for me! :)

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  7. Your talking about sugared items not having the appeal they once did. When I look down the fully sugared aisles at the grocery store, I mentally say over and over "poison for you" "it's poison" which seems to help. Especially on those days when for some reason the candy aisle or chips aisle is looking very appealing.
    Thanks again for sharing your journey Sean!
    N~

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    1. Nancy-- I've referred to things as poison too, namely full sugar soda. That candy/chip isle--oh my, be careful--I agree, poison at every turn, just about!
      You're welcome. I sincerely appreciate your support!

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  8. "But that was someone else's normal, not mine."

    This was a great post for me, too. I was nodding Yes all the way. I really needed this reminder, too, to not even "wish" anymore at all that it was different for me. It is what it is. Thanks for a very encouraging post, Sean.

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    1. Oh Retta-- thank you, my friend. It is a very important shift in perspective, for me--and any of us, I believe. ;) Always, Retta, YW.

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