Monday, November 3, 2014

November 3rd, 2014 The Big Box of Temptation

November 3rd, 2014 The Big Box of Temptation

The freedom I've experienced since becoming abstinent from sugar has been and continues to be one of the most incredible confirmations of my life. Before giving it an honest try, all I had to go on was the stories from others who had gone before me, some with ten, twenty and even 27 years abstinence behind their experiences. It is definitely one of those things where you can't fully understand what they're talking about until you give it an honest attempt. Until then, it's like an addict in successful recovery talking to someone who's high as a kite on the substance. Back then, actively under the influence, it didn't allow the full power to sink into my brain, because my brain was fairly occupied!

And the tests come on a semi-regular basis. Halloween wasn't too bad, actually. But today--oh my...that's another story! It started with an in-studio guest bringing cinnamon rolls for studio staff this morning. No prob, I thought. Then--a couple of hours later, a very nice lady gifted our studio staff with an entire box of freshly baked sugary items. We're talking pies, cookies, more pies--different cookies--and who knows what else? It was a very nice gesture in appreciation of our support and announcements for their fall bake sale fundraiser.

A colleague took the box upstairs and left it on the break table for anyone to enjoy. It was a bit overwhelming. I felt a twinge of self-doubt. The cookies looked like the best cookies I had ever laid eyes on--ever, in my life. I was having some not so good thoughts. I tweeted pictures of the cinnamon roll and later, the box of goodies--as a way of sharing the situation. Doing this took some of the power away from it. Then, I quickly decided I needed to prepare and enjoy my lunch.

I made my way into the kitchen and realized I was out of most everything in my studio stash of lunch items. That's not a good deal when I have a box of craziness mere steps away!! I calmly improvised a lunch with what I had available and sat down at the table, eating my lunch while the box of goodies made its home at the other end.

I made it through lunch okay. I was fine until a couple of hours later when I walked by the box. I stopped and lovingly gazed at the items, knowing the consequences would be devastating if I caved, but still feeling compelled. My brain tried to rationalize just one, just one little cookie--but I couldn't do it. There wasn't a good rationalization to let me off the hook on this one. I was one cookie away, one crazy thought from injecting my brain with the substance I know alters my life in dramatic ways. It doesn't for everyone, but without a doubt, it does for me.

It's interesting, really--this whole dynamic, and how the cinnamon roll didn't bother me, but the entire box of goodies did mess with my mind. In the end, I made it unscathed. I couldn't do it. I could not bring myself to even touch one of these items. I wanted to so bad. I was ready to tear into that box with reckless abandon. But now that I know and have 100% confirmed what sugar does for me--I had to walk away. I've been and continue to be binge free for nearly 7 months. I don't even have urges to binge and I know it's thanks to my abstinence from sugar. My brain isn't under the influence. And that's where I hope and pray it remains for the rest of my life, clear of the fog--clear of the insanity.

I watched the intro video to P90X3 tonight, then made my way through what was basically a slightly improvised and modified home workout. I did some additional squats (feeling it) too--and I can clearly see why this workout plan is so incredible.

I sat down to write this blog and the internet was moving too slow to do anything. It's a rare situation--but finally I gave up and went to bed with the hopes it would be fixed by early morning, and it was!!

My Tweets today:
















Thank you for reading and your wonderful support,
Strength,
Sean

21 comments:

  1. Congrats on passing up that crap! Doesn't it feel good to be able to do that? Oh I know about the stuggle, but you got through it. And thats incredible. I had a struggle the other day and I was so pissed off at myself. I do not go out to lunch/dinner often but on t his day my mother wanted to venture out. And she picked chinese food! Now I don't love it but I have a hard time navigating around it. I ended up with steamed chicken and veggies. Not horrid, but for some reason it triggered my thoughts for the rest of the day. I guess what I'm learning and I'm sure you , too is that we are human! We DO want these things, its a matter of how much? How much do we want to hurt ourselves over a little cookie or cake or whatever it is? I certainly do not want to UN-Do what I just did .
    So , as our co workers bring in these lovely treats these next two months of holiday glee, we will have to remember that cookies and cakes and candy do not have a hold over us.. WE have control over them!
    Good day ahead!
    Rosie

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    1. It does feel really good, Rosie! Ooh--Chinese--that's my kryptonite! You did well--steamed chicken and veggies--interesting that it triggered struggle the rest of the day. Yes indeed--as we get into holiday treat season--we must remember, we're in control--we decide!

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  2. Hi Sean
    Love reading your blog. In fact it has become an addiction of mine, although I must say, a very positive one. I always thought your breakfasts were a little strange - eggs and apples or pears most of the time, but after seeing countless twitter photos I thought I would try it once myself. So I made it today and it was a really satisfying and easy to prepare breakfast. I now understand why you have it so often. Thanks for your efforts with your blog, it is reaching and inspiring people all over the world.

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    1. Thank you! I LOVE my breakfasts!! It is easy and very satisfying to me, I'm glad you enjoyed it too!! Thank you for the blog compliment. It's a very important part of my life!

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  3. Everything changed when I gave up sugar. Awesome feeling!
    <3

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    1. Yes, YES!! Everything changed, indeed. It's amazing how apprehensive I was at one time-- had I known how wonderful it would be, I would have done it a long time ago!

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  4. Sean. Great work. I find each day that I abstain from sugar and wheat, heck even each meal, that I anchor into freedom , life, and clarity.

    Keep up the great work. The rewards are so, so worth it

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    1. So well said, Karen. Thank you!! VERY worth it.

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  5. Thanks for reminding us how we have to be vigilant continually. Now with this "sugar season" that is upon us - we have to be on top of how much power that old sugar has! Or is it that we have given to it?
    N~

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    1. It's certainly a case of changing perspective and taking the power away from those things. It is possible and the holidays can and will still be wonderful--even if I don't eat pecan pie! ;) Nancy, I appreciate your awesome support!!

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  6. Great work! I always have to fight with myself when it comes to free food. Too many memories of relying on free food to get through the day. I have to remind myself that I'm not going to go hungry if I pass this up and that I have my own food.

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    1. Thank you, Connie!! Free food is tough and it always seems to be around me in my profession. Great reminder--yes, indeed--I must constantly remind myself of the same things.

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  7. I look at it this way, I have 43 holidays off traditions which included all those 'treats'. Like you, Sean, I changed my lifestyle so that it doesn't include sugar. That was 21 years ago, but I still have MORE EXPERIENCE with enjoying those treats on holidays.

    Even though the caused me to become morbidly obese, I forget about that. Instead, I remember that momentary 'ahhh'. I forget about the fact that once I take a bite, I cannot stop.

    Why? Because I have 43 years of experience at celebrating with food, especially sugar. I have 21 years of abstinence from sugar. Which am I better at? The one where I have more experience - 43 years!

    You are 100% right about our inability to comprehend how addictive sugar is, when we are in the midst of it. I had to take someone's word for it to experience the amazing clear-headedness that comes from sugar-abstinence. You describe it beautifully, Sean.

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    1. I love you perspective, Gerri! Thank you very much, Gerri. And thank you for being a big positive influence in my recovery. 21 years, Gerri---wow.

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  8. So.....how long does it take before you experience the well being of not having sugar once you go sugar free. I'm not sugar free yet, I'm attempting everything in moderation approach that a dear friend is encouraging me with but down the road if I do find it's a addiction for me I will go sugar free.

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    1. It took me just a few days--and especially after a week sugar free--profound difference!! It's good you're trying moderation--because you might not have the addictive reactions.
      Always wishing you the best, Leah!!

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  9. My problem when I get the urge to binge, is that I just hurry up and eat, before I have a chance to talk myself out of it. I like how you reasoned with yourself and came to the right conclusion. I need to remember to do that!

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    1. I have my accountability system to thank for that pause, Dupster. If I give in to it---I have to be willing to take a picture, look it up and log it into MFP--then tweet it... Now--you might be thinking...what would keep me from just doing it and skipping the accountability part?? Good question. The answer? If ever I do that--no matter how small---it would all be over. This system of accountability requires the highest integrity--and if it's sacrificed, it might as well be shut down... It only works if I hold it sacred. And I do... Think about how you can create similar barriers between you and the choice to binge.

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  10. Great job, Sean! I often think that sometimes the emotional damage from giving in is worse than any caloric damage that you would have. But you made it through! Excellent! This will inspire ME...I came home tonight just wanting to EAT and EAT, bad end of day, but making it so far and your story helps!

    Dede

    Dede

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    1. Oh, Dede--it absolutely is much worse than the actual physical damage. The emotional/mental is the kind of damage that keeps on going, when we allow it. Sometimes we have to narrow down the "one day at a time" to "One hour at a time." Great work, Dede!!

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  11. Sean, this is 7? almost 8 months later, but I just wanted to tell you -

    You've given me back my motivation. I had read your blog at the beginning, so many years ago - and then I re-discovered it a few days ago. I have been devouring (ha) your archives. You gave me an epiphany about 'normal' and then this post!

    I always say, with regards to sugar - NONE is easier. Just no. NONE. So much easier than the arguing with all the voices in my head 'one bite! just half a donut! well, ok, a donut and then a cookie!' it's too much noise, too much to deal with.

    No is quieter. 'None' is actually freedom.

    I'm so glad for you that you made it back on track, and you're doing so well. Thank you for your huge efforts in maintaining this blog!

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I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to leave a comment. Thank you for your support!






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