I've made today a full-on relax day. I haven't left this apartment. Yes, I had things to do--certainly could have accomplished much more, but you know what? I really enjoyed taking a day off.
"Taking a day off" means something completely different to me than it did once upon a time.
Today, my fundamental elements remain solidly in place.
There was a time when "taking a day off" meant retreating from whatever I was doing that was bringing me whatever I was getting.
It typically meant going on a binge--completely off the rails, intentionally--recklessly with wild abandon. The after-effects affected all facets of my being--spiritual, emotional, mental and physical.
It's never "just one meal" or "just one night" or "just this time" and all will be back in place tomorrow. Never worked that way for me, ever.
The psychological damage--the mind stuff--was always more destructive than the physical consequences of any one binge. It would take a few all-out binge behavior episodes to start seeing and feeling physical changes. Of course they typically came in waves and groups--close together, each encouraging the next.
I did take the day off today. I relaxed--cooked, ate well, enjoyed coffee, watched a Tonight Show episode on Hulu and checked out a Netflix show that everyone seems to be a buzz about. And I feel great.
When the fundamental elements that work well for us are developed and refined to best suit our individual preferences, and we practice them in combination with good accountability and support--suddenly "taking a day off" from them isn't very attractive. And if taking a day off from our fundamental elements still looks attractive, it isn't a bad thing--it just means they might need further development and refining to best suit our individual qualities/needs.
It's an acceptance and a comfortable embrace of my fundamental elements that envelopes me in peace and calm throughout this maintenance mode.
The other direction offers chaos and uncertainty.
Every day, I hope and pray I continue moving in a direction harmonious with my life goals. Maintaining to me, means maintaining the elements of my recovery each day--with a large measure of respect and caution, because my continued success is NEVER guaranteed. It's as strong as my next choice. If I maintain the integrity of my plan, even on a "taking the day off-day," then I have the best chance at continued weight maintenance success.
Thank you to everyone who responded to yesterday's blog post. I received a few private emails and messages about the dynamics explored. A few loyal readers responded in the comments section. I do my best to reply to all comments on this blog. There are days I miss--and I sometimes take a little longer to respond, but the communication/interaction is important to me.
Here's a few from the comments section of yesterday's post.
"I love how you never tell anyone that your way is the only way. Even people who might be best off doing it your way would likely resent and rebel if forced when not ready. You just tell your personal story, which is encouraging and inspiring."
Natalie, absolutely. I believe it all goes back to how we each must find our path and "our normal" in the most natural and organic way. If someone is inspired to try certain things that have worked well for me, it might be great for them--or not...but I'll never push, only be supportive and respectful of where they are along this road.
If someone would have approached me in the middle of relapse/regain and said--"okay--this is what you're doing right now," I would have not been ready. I needed to experience what I experienced. It's the most natural way to learn in the absolute most powerful way. Thank you, Natalie!
"This post really touched my heart...I can very much relate. Thank you for posting."
Connie, I'm so glad it resonated deeply. You're very welcome for the post. It's a powerful thing, this road we're on. Thank you for sharing this.
"While reading your blog today, the thought popped into my head that you're a real Renaissance Man. I so appreciate your ability to put emotions into words that resonate with me and so many other folks.
"...but it doesn't mean it's okay to bully oneself with brutality while constantly projecting this low, beaten down self-image onto others...assuming they can't stand us as much as we can't stand ourselves, then ferociously trying to win their love with laughter or by whatever other means."
I've BEEN and DONE this very thing so many times, but don't know that I really recognized it until now. If I ever meet you, I'm gonna buy you a big ol' bottle of water!"
And I will take that big bottle of water!! Thank you!! I'm so happy this post resonated on a deep level with you, LM.
The dynamics are so incredibly complex, sadly, most who get trapped in this chase will stay trapped their entire lives.
Going through this transformation and getting deeper, below the surface and behind the "scenes," so to speak-- in my opinion, is often painful--and eye opening...but critically important if we're interested in the most monumental changes in perspective and ultimately, our lives.
Anyone who has read this blog over time, knows--"transformation" means so much more than a smaller body, smaller clothes, dramatic before/current pictures and a healthy weight.
Those things are the least of it all. "Renaissance Man," wow. Thank you!
More rest for me, straight ahead!
There's still room in the Monday night teleconference support group I co-facilitate with Life Coach Gerri. There's actually three spots on Monday and one or two on Tuesday night. If you have any questions, email me! firstname.lastname@example.org.
To register click one of the links below:
The next 10 week session starts this coming Monday and Tuesday. The Monday night conference call is scheduled for 6pm Central/7pm Eastern/4pm Pacific. The Tuesday night conference is 7pm Central/8pm Eastern/5pm Pacific. If you're interested in registering click one of the links below!
Monday - www.lifecoachgerri.com/events/dont-die-it-live-it-0111
Tuesday - www.lifecoachgerri.com/events/dont-die-it-live-it-0112
There is availability for international members outside the US and Canada (with special numbers for your country--so you're not incurring international calling charges), but the time difference might be a challenge. Email me if you're interested and outside the US and Canada. I'll let you know if your country is set up to join us!
My Tweets Today:
Good Sunday! Big Mug of Dark roast with three tablespoons half & half X 2 cups. 120 cal. pic.twitter.com/Kkdndquztb— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) January 10, 2016
Brunch in MFP... pic.twitter.com/CX2MgjTe5O— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) January 10, 2016
8.8oz pork loin chop, two whole eggs prepared over-easy, 4.9oz orange & 8.4oz pear. 625 cal. pic.twitter.com/t41N8Bygg5— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) January 10, 2016
Afternoon cup of coffee. Dark roast with two tablespoons half & half. 40 cal. pic.twitter.com/LTbKU0ZR0r— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) January 10, 2016
Lunch in MFP... pic.twitter.com/9VrhBwr0JT— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) January 10, 2016
Chips&Dips. 71g avocado w/salt&pepper and 7g sr crm--6 tblspns salsa w/15g sr crm, 42g chips. 2.5 cups water. 399cal pic.twitter.com/HTWgAXEuCC— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) January 10, 2016
It's been a very restful Sunday. Dark roast with three tablespoons half & half. 60 cal. pic.twitter.com/4u1kEfGePR— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) January 11, 2016
It's cooking. Dinner in MFP... pic.twitter.com/kUoLvh3o3A— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) January 11, 2016
In the pan, in the oven... pic.twitter.com/319Q8Y4YbB— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) January 11, 2016
3.7oz cod, 4.4oz salmon, baked. 198g swt.potato, red onions & yellow bell pepper pan prepared w/3secOOSpray. 608 cal pic.twitter.com/vIWORtbLNW— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) January 11, 2016
4.4oz orange & 5.9oz banana. Dessert! 152 cal. pic.twitter.com/iKTs16Js0z— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) January 11, 2016
Netflix snacks. 3 cups simply nature organic popcorn, 5.1oz Pink Lady Apple & 2.5 cup water. #lastfoodofday 164 cal. pic.twitter.com/2ReKK4pKf8— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) January 11, 2016
Thank you for reading and your continued support,