January 12th, 2019 Without Knowing
Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.
Yesterday wasn't quite as difficult as I expected. I think writing about it, keeping my awareness level high, and expressing the vulnerability to my support friends are all things that helped navigate the day. I was super tired when I went down for a nap at 4:30pm. I set the alarm for 5:45pm--slept right past it and woke at 8pm. It felt like ten minutes. It certainly tilted my schedule last night, but it was needed. I made a grocery store trip, enjoyed some baked cod with grilled asparagus for dinner, and visited mom for a little while before calling it a night. Surprisingly, once in bed for the night, I was able to go to sleep fairly quickly.
Today's schedule includes radio things. I have a big two-station broadcast from the final hours of a grocery store's giant 2-day sale followed by production work this afternoon at the studio. I'm planning a late afternoon trip to the gym as well.
My morning routine is complete and I'm about to enjoy breakfast before heading to the location broadcast.
If I have gratitude for the blessings and an action plan for the challenges, I'm okay. The gratitude part has certainly evolved over the last ten years. There was a time when I'd rarely visit a place of gratitude in my heart and mind. It was a time when I was too focused on the challenges, and that focus without a plan, or even the willingness to create one, kept me in a constant state of hopelessness. The declarations of "I know what to do" really translated to, "I have an idea of what I want but honestly, I have no idea how to get there or even how to create a plan, because if I did know what to do, I'd have done it already."
I believe we must start without knowing what to do. I didn't know what I was doing on Day 1, September 15th, 2008. In fact, even if we think we know what to do or what we're doing, I believe we should suspend that process as quickly as possible and simply start from scratch in the most simplistic ways possible. Can we do that? Can we get out of our own way? If suddenly the boulders of pride and ego were set aside, how might it clear the way? If we can get out of our own way, then we can proceed in ways unencumbered by our past experience, expectations, and old trials. If we can, perhaps we're putting ourselves on a new path of discovery where new perspectives are embraced and a simplistic plan evolves naturally into the plan uniquely fit for our needs.
If we can start from the humble place of not knowing, we dramatically improve our chances of accomplishing what once felt impossible and hopeless.
It's possible. There's hope.
Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,
If you're interested in connecting via social media:
I accept friend requests on MyFitnessPal. My daily food logging diary is set to public.
MFP Username: SeanAAnderson
My Twitter: SeanAAnderson
Also--I'd love you to subscribe to my podcast Transformation Planet! You can find it in Apple Podcasts, in the Google Play store for Android, and listed wherever you find your favorite podcasts! If you haven't listened before, you'll find 19 episodes waiting for you!