Yesterday was a 4-star day: I maintained the integrity of my calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.
I left the studio early yesterday in order to make the trip to pick up mom from the hospital. I'm so grateful for the support from everyone at the radio station. "Do what you need to do for momma, we'll handle things here," has been a wonderful gift lately.
It was great timing yesterday, too. The doctor was making a few rounds, so I waited for the opportunity to speak with him about mom's progress and treatment plan. It's amazing to me how quickly things can change with the proper care. The staff at the hospital set goals and hit 'em all. Mom's infection is gone, they were able to get a massive amount of fluid off her lungs and away from her heart, and in the process, they were successful in getting a measure of stability for her erratic blood sugar levels. I have immense gratitude for all they accomplished.
We were greeted by the nursing home staff upon return. Mom wasn't back in her room five minutes before a physical therapist was there, ready to assess her physicality and mobility needs. While they worked on that, I had a good meeting with mom's lead day nurse. The treatment plan now is centered on prevention. It's challenging for a variety of reasons, but it isn't impossible. Their treatment goal is to break this pattern. Three hospital stays in eight months, two of 'em in the last month, has clearly illuminated the need for a different approach in her care. I was so impressed with how engaged they were and how important they're making this pursuit at the nursing home. Again, much gratitude.
Once again, a big thank you to everyone far and near who sent words of encouragement, prayers, and beautiful well wishes for mom. She was truly overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and support from all over the world; fascinated really. I love seeing her smile, always have, and she certainly did--a lot, as I read aloud the many messages sent her way.
Mom isn't real thrilled about not being able to join me at my annual 4th of July broadcast from the lake. Her mobility right now is fragile and unfortunately, it wouldn't be a good idea for that reason, not to mention the heat. She's resigned to watching the 4th of July celebrations on tv. I plan on stopping by for a short visit prior to tonight's broadcast event.
This picture was from two years ago. She had such a good time that night. God willing, there will be more good times like that in the future. I just spoke with mom and she's excited about getting her hair fixed today. Her hair was her biggest concern on the way home yesterday.
With a couple hours of work to do at the studio late last night, I decided a meal out was perfectly fine. I always prefer preparing my meals at home--but sometimes it just makes the most sense to do something different.
View this post on Instagram#whatsfordinner Out. 8oz sirloin, approx. 1.5cups 2% milkfat cottage cheese, and approx. 100g asparagus, no seasoning- grilled very well... like, almost burnt. I like it that way. 575 cal. #foodplan Long day today- isn't over either... this made sense tonight! #dailypractice Love love love this meal!!
Today we celebrate our freedom on America's birthday. The word freedom automatically conjures up many different meanings in my brain. A few thoughts on the word "freedom" from the archives:
February 2nd, 2010--Day 505
The changes in the way I feel cannot be described, I mean---I can try, but how do you describe freedom? Freedom to breathe again, freedom to move without pain, freedom to sit anywhere in any chair I want, freedom to fit into any vehicle I need or want to, freedom to fit, freedom to feel confident in a crowd, freedom to be me, the real me. You see my friend, the real me has been trapped for so long. Oh, I was still good old Sean before, but everything I did, everything I said, every single situation was affected by my size when I weighed over 500 pounds. Those restrictions are gone, allowing me to just be me. I don’t have to be embarrassed by my size anymore. Never again will I worry that I might embarrass my kids in public or at their school. They tell me I never did, bless their hearts. The changes people see in my attitude and personality is simply because that insecurity is gone. And we’re not even done yet. Oh, the places we'll go with this newfound confidence and freedom---and attitude.
From July 9th, 2018:
I believe we're on our way to an imaginary line, where suddenly we're not eating less and exercising more solely as a means to lose weight--we're doing it because it's what we do, it's how we live---and suddenly it becomes much less of a burden or deliberate action, it just IS. And we discover that it doesn't take anything away from the richness of our lives--or the joy we experience, as our struggling thoughts might have convinced us--contrary, it enriches us, empowers us---breaks us free into a new perspective where we realize our greater truth, our truest reality about our relationship with food and exercise.
Like coming out of the dense fog, we clearly see food for what it is, not what our old behaviors and habits tried to make it. Now, I look at the earlier, deliberate phase as practice for what's ahead--because I know the biggest obstacle to crossing this line and keeping this new perspective is our own thoughts, emotional and spiritual health. This, without question, is the most powerful element.
I've discovered, our thoughts and emotions can effectively render our breakthroughs powerless, pulling us back over the line, as if a gravitational pull exists between our old perspectives and the freedoms we've enjoyed in the new. At this place we find ourselves in a position where we know the truth, we've experienced the freedom--and we have to decide: Do we surrender? Do we give back all of the power it had over us for years? Do we walk back into our cell and close the door? Or do we stand up, declare our freedom and break free toward progress once again? It's a powerful choice we have and our most definitive answer isn't in what we say, it's what we do.
It's so much easier to give it all back.
In that cell, we simply exist--surrounded by the same old behaviors and habits that have consistently given us our reality. It's easy because we don't have to think about anything--we just do whatever--despite the consequences. There's a freedom in that choice. It's the freedom from personal responsibility--freedom from caring---freedom from the uncertainties of positive change and a deliberate disconnect from the impending and most certain negative changes our inaction fosters. That kind of freedom comes at a much greater cost. It costs us our health, it cuts short our life, it dramatically decreases the richness/fullness of our existence...and it's so easy to do, effortless to accept because it doesn't require us to change our actions or perspective.
Our quickest exit relies heavily on our self-awareness and honesty about what we're doing and why. The positive effort we exert repays us exponentially in ways we haven't even realized until we're there; living, breathing and benefiting from our good choices. The freedoms we enjoy from the consequences of our efforts far outweigh the freedoms of inaction.
It honestly comes down to this: What kind of freedoms do we truly want?
Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,
If you're interested in connecting via social media:
I accept friend requests on MyFitnessPal. My daily food logging diary is set to public.
MFP Username: SeanAAnderson
My Twitter: SeanAAnderson
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