It's an incredibly good feeling to be at peace with something. I'm in a position along this road where my acceptance has allowed me the most sincere peace. It's acceptance of my abstinence from sugar, it's acceptance of a committed exercise schedule, it's acceptance for not using food to buffer emotions--it's an acceptance of good things and this, coming from me--someone who has had what seems like an inability to accept good things in my life. To finally feel worthy of good things--and to not immediately try to self-sabotage my way back into chaos, is truly the most wonderful transformation within me.
I'm an affected individual, there's no doubt, all of us are to a certain extent--some more than others. To finally be able to feel some space between me and those deeply ingrained reactions fueled by an inaccurate perception of self, is incredibly liberating.
When I allow my brain to explore the dynamics of it all, I quickly realize the magnitude and how this is about one thousand times more than just weight loss. It goes much deeper than dropping pounds and all the euphoria surrounding weight loss success. To feel worthy of good things, to once and for all embrace and love me as I am, regardless of anything or anyone else and to view myself without judgement and condemnation...oh my-- My friend, this is what it's all about. To get here, to this mental and emotional place where obstacles are swiped away from our path to freedom, is the most beautiful experience.
Discussing the fundamentals and surface issues along the way is important, of course-- because the commitment to these--a steady treading of sorts, gives us the balance to go deeper along the way.
When I get excited about this journey, it's not always about the most obvious things, like smaller clothes and slimmer profiles. It's about the deep stuff. It's about the transformation of the inside, not the outside that most excites me. Because it's this transformation that lays the foundation for all other transformative experiences to happen and stay that way.
Today was an exceptional day for many reasons. It wasn't perfect, never is. But it was positive. I experienced an amazing workout. We had a wonderful conference call support group. I'm simply feeling happy and it shows in just about everything I do these days.
My Tweets today:
Coffee, I really like you. Not to get weird, but sometimes I lovingly gaze at your pic. Hey,Where RU going? 30CX2=60C pic.twitter.com/NMUGuvzPe0
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 16, 2014
3 whl eggs & 1 wht prepared over-hard, thin tip steak (2oz), pear, pineapple (4.2oz), 10 white grapes. 527 cal. Big! pic.twitter.com/Amvqd1hzf9
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 16, 2014
Beef, jalapeños, pineapple, swiss, prov. & mozz w/sugar free marinara on Joseph's Pita. Pear & ten grapes. 551 cal. pic.twitter.com/YBXEbm6Q6d
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 16, 2014
Time to move this body to the hip, hip, a hibbity hop, to the beat, yo, you don't stop. #workouttime I'd be an awesome 80's rapper. Word.
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 16, 2014
Fajita chicken (5.5oz), grilled shrimp, dry tostado shells (2), guac w/sr crm, salsa with sr crm. Lettuce. 499 cal. pic.twitter.com/Wgwn91WYqH
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 17, 2014
Fresh strawberries (165g) #lastfoodofday 53 cal. pic.twitter.com/5KTPrWUuAE
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 17, 2014
Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
Sean, your enthusiasm and your zest for living life to the max is infectious :-). I look forward to your posts and soak in the positive vibes. I too am in a good place and getting my act together.
ReplyDeleteCheers,
Bhavani
Bhavani, thank you!! Feels good, doesn't it? I'm so happy to read this!
DeleteSean, one of the biggest surprises to me on my almost 4 year journey has been what you said...this is SO not only about losing lbs. What I have found for myself is that it is impossible to lose weight and keep it off for any length of time without something changing emotionally, changing the way I react to things, etc. Sometimes I am amazed! I always lost weight quickly and gained it back quickly so I never had a chance to experience this before, and like you, this time I really do not consider it to be a "diet", but the way I am going to live for the rest of my life, so therefore I am not doing anything I can't maintain for the rest of my life. (Although my food diaries may need their own storage unit someday, LOL...I am old school about them, really like having them on paper!) But anyway, I really did not expect to change so much emotionally. I am not as evolved as you are yet, though. I hope to reach your level of self love eventually, I know I am on the way, though. I also LOVE how positive you are...that's why I try to read your blog in the morning before work if I can....gets my day off to a good start!
ReplyDeleteDede
Awe, Dede--thank you! It is so much bigger--so true, so right. We're both along this road, working toward a transformation of mind, emotion, soul and body--and it's a life work kind of thing. You totally get it--the rest of our lives-- and doing something we can sustain and enjoy along the way.
DeleteThe key to the self-love epiphany for me was one question: What are the qualities in me that remain constant regardless of weight, regardless of finances, regardless of relationship status--regardless of any other "measuring stick?" The answer to that question identified the things I needed to nourish, celebrate and develop...the rest of life will happen and conform around my personal and internal bliss. It's a powerful exercise, Dede! When we couple this self-awareness with a measure of self-compassion, forgiving ourselves for being less than perfect and realizing we're good enough and worthy of good things--it's completely life changing in the most powerful way possible.
"To finally feel worthy of good things--and to not immediately try to self-sabotage my way back into chaos"
ReplyDeleteThose are the words of a man who is making permanent changes.
Yes, indeed, Helen!! Thank you very much!
DeleteThose are very profound words, indeed. My compulsion to eat until I'm FULL, or to graze throughout the day, is somewhat the opposite, though. On some subliminal level I think I want to eat abundantly in an attempt to manifest... or convince myself of... an abundant life, or at least a sense of "having enough." I must confess that I still haven't arrived at the peaceful place that you've discovered. I remain hopeful, though.
DeleteDon't give up, Becky! As my regain, then recovery shows--There's always hope!! Your subliminal thought theory sounds really solid. I've talked with a couple of people over the last 6 years who often eat more and effectively hoard food--because they didn't have enough growing up...
DeleteIt's very interesting, but never beyond hope.
Several years ago I wrote a post asking if you needed to lose weight in order to be happy or if instead you needed to be happy in order to lose weight.
ReplyDeleteI think you exemplify the answer to that question. You are so right that it's so much more than just losing weight. In fact I believe the actual weight loss is just a byproduct of building a healthier mind.
Thanks for Sharing!
- FogDogWeightloss.blogspot.com
It really is, FD! Thank you very much!! I tried it the first way and it was very disappointing! Flipping it around, it's the most wonderful feeling I've ever experienced.
DeleteCongratulations, Sean! It is an awesome feeling to finally feel worthy of the good stuff!! I have taken myself through this transformation of making peace with self as I have with many clients. What had me stumped for years was that I was waiting for everything in my life to "line up" (the right job, boss, body, house, partner, etc.) so that I could be happy, peaceful, worthy and content. It was only when I figured out that being peaceful and content occurred not because anything was going on in my life - but it occurred in spite of everything that was going on - that I was able to find the peace, contentment and happiness that I had been searching for forever.
ReplyDeleteVERY compelling post. Thanks for sharing ...
Gary, thank you. Yes, indeed! It's like searching for a key to unlock a treasure chest and searching for years---then one day, you realize it was in your pocket the entire time. Absolutely welcome, Gary
DeleteThis particular post makes me really feel happy for you. I'm an advocate of a healthy life, and your acceptance to a healthier, better, fitter, and happier life is something that we could really be proud of. Congratulations, Sean. I'm glad you are in a situation now where you have more peace in life.
ReplyDelete