Self-Motivation When No One's Looking
Sometimes battling will power has nothing to do with food. Tonight it was exercise. By the time Irene left for work it was time to take Courtney to her friends house for a sleepover, then it was off to the Y for a workout. I was tired, real tired. I didn't get but a ½ hour nap earlier in the day, so I wasn't in the best mindset for movement of any kind. When I got to the Y, I didn't go in right away. I just sat there in the parking lot trying to talk myself out of going in. I even started the vehicle and left, then drove around the block and back in. I just wasn't “feeling it.” But then I made myself a deal. If I would just go inside and workout for even a half hour, I would enjoy a 200 calorie Braums jr. frozen yogurt cone and a nap as soon as I got home. I did go in, and although it was nowhere near my best workout, I was still moving. After grabbing what seemed to be an exceptionally small frozen yogurt cone (barely above the top of the cone) I headed home for a little power nap. I say “exceptionally small”, because when you're counting calories, and I had more than enough left for a 200 calorie cone, you want it to be 200 calories worth! I still counted the thing as 200, but it had to be less. That's the thing about counting calories on things like this. There's going to be some variances in size. I've mentioned this before. If this frozen yogurt cone averages 200 calories, sometimes it'll be made a little big, say 240 calories worth. And sometimes a little small, perhaps 160. It's the human element. The person making the cone is only human, they're not going to put the perfect amount in the cone every time. I understand that! But did this person know that I had a deal with myself? If I took my lazy but into the Y and moved enough to just break a sweat, I was being rewarded! And this was my reward! It may have been the 165th cone he's made tonight, but this one was special! It was my reward. Don't skimp on my reward! I'm over it now. As soon as I walked in the house, I looked at the computer and thought about sitting down to write, then just going to bed early for a Friday night. I mean really, who takes a nap at 9:15pm? I felt like I was being a big old baby, because I wanted my nappy time! And I didn't care that it was already a reasonable bedtime. The plan was simple: Nap until 10:30pm, then get up, write and do my household stuff I promised Irene I would do. I must have set the alarm for 10:30am, because it didn't bother to holler at me. I slept like a rock until 1am!! Now I'm up writing Day 89 in the first couple hours of Day 90. Then I have some vacuuming to do, and something else I can't remember, oh well, I'm sure Irene will remind me! And no telling when I'll be tired enough now to get back to bed, and I have a 9am broadcast at Wal-Mart in the morning, or technically later this morning. If the “are you gonna sit there all day and eat those?” guy comes around, he's liable to get an earful from a sleepy little grumpy radio personality! Maybe I'll choose something for breakfast that will provoke him, say, uh...a submarine sandwich from the deli. That ought to do it! A fat guy eating a sub while sitting in a chair in the middle of Wal-Mart at nine in the morning. surely that will bring out the stupid mouth. Did I just call that guy a “stupid mouth”? Did I just turn into Richie Cunningham? All I know is the “Bucko” better just walk on by! And why am I still talking about that incident? Wasn't that like a month ago? Note to self: LET IT GO already!
You see what happens when we're left alone? If I would have had someone with me, I guarantee I would have never even contemplated not working out and I would have immediately started writing when I got back home. Sometimes, when there isn't anyone around, it's too easy to be easy. Make sense? It's similar to walking at night somewhere scary. If I'm with someone, no problem, I'm the biggest and bravest around, but if I'm alone, then I turn into the biggest 430 pound fraidy cat in the world. I guess it's natural to gain strength from others expectations and perceptions of us. But when I'm alone, and the only one left in the room to disappoint is me, it's easy to lose strength. That's when I remember you! The accountability aspect of this blog steps in and says, “get you lazy butt out of this vehicle and get in there and sweat!” As you may know, I sometimes, especially on weekends, post these blogs really late, or early depending on how you look at it, so I didn't mind trying to sneak in a little shut-eye. Policing myself is sometimes a full time job! The bottom line is this: It was a great day calorie wise and I moved until I sweat, and that's better than no movement at all.
Oh, I almost forgot, I fixed the most amazing sandwich for dinner tonight. I'll call it the toasted chicken breast melt. I grilled a chicken breast on the Foreman Grill, then I put some bread on the grill with the breast and a slice of cheese, put the lid down, and in a matter of minutes I had an amazingly delicious toasted and melty sandwich that came in at 350 calories.
Saturday night we're having company! Rachel and Niel are making the trip up from Stillwater to enjoy dinner and play some Texas Hold 'Em at our dining room table. We're just playing for fun, and I know we're planning on some light drinking, so I have to manage my calories strategically tomorrow so I can be sure and enjoy the dinner we'll prepare and a couple of peach schnapps splashed ice teas later! I'm not really a drinker, but occasionally I'll have a couple of social drinks. But beware! Serious calories can hide in mixed drinks! I haven't had alcohol at all in the first 89 days, so I haven't dealt with liquor calories yet, but I will now and I'll be sure to tell you all about it in my next blog. Good night and...