Wednesday, September 17, 2014

September 17th, 2014 The Pull-Over Dynamic

September 17th, 2014 The Pull-Over Dynamic

I never wear pull-over shirts. I haven't since I was a young kid. I'm convinced I was one of the founding originators of the fashion trend of wearing a t-shirt with a button down shirt unbuttoned, over. I was doing that in junior high and high school. I didn't do it because I thought it was a cool way to dress. I did it because I somehow convinced my brain that it made me look smaller and concealed my extra chest fat.

I've been given several pull-overs through the years from employers and from special events I've helped promote--and I never wear them. I usually give them away to someone who will wear them--but it's never me.

I'm working with a limited wardrobe these days because I refuse to go out and buy a big bunch of clothing that'll be too big in a months time (or less). As I was getting dressed this morning, I realized that my big blue "outer shirt" needs to be donated very soon. It's become ridiculously big. Okay--that doesn't make sense. It's the same size it was when I bought it--I've lost a lot of weight since then and now it looks crazy big on me. It's the shirt I was wearing on stage at the music festival a few weeks ago.

That leaves me one "outer shirt" that somewhat fits, but is still slightly big on me. So now what? Should I break down and buy a few things? Or raid my closet to sort through and find some things that might work? I chose to dive into my closet.

I found a brand new, never worn, pullover given to me by my employer with our community website logo sewn onto the left breast area. It's a very nice shirt. I tried it on a few months ago when it was originally gifted and it was way too tight. This morning, it was perfect. And even though I've had this hangup my entire adult life, I was able to let it go, be okay--and just be me. It fit and it looked exactly like it should. I received a few compliments on it too, because wearing it really showcases the dramatic weight loss of the last five months.

Being "okay" is new to me. It doesn't scare me and I'm not running the other way or dealing with it by eating. I'm okay!! I'm taking a deep breath and relaxing my defensive stance against the misaligned, highly imaginative creations of my brain that try to tell me otherwise. In doing this--these thoughts have lost their power over me. I'm not just pretending to be okay anymore, I'm really, genuinely--authentically, okay! And that's an amazing transformation of perspective.

I had a phenomenal food day. Wow. I loved every bit of it, every bite! I can't express how much of a difference it makes to take the time to plan and prepare good food. I made extra and shared with my fellow colleagues today at lunch. It was a wonderful opportunity to discuss what I'm doing and it was a natural conversation fueled by their questions and appreciation for the lunch! It was my pleasure.

The Twitter feed I maintain with everything photographed and counted has had a tremendously positive impact on me. It has slowed me down just enough to think about what I'm eating, how much I'm eating and if the lighting is right for the photo. I take pride in my choices. I take pride in my food diary on MyFitnessPal too and it all adds up to a very positive food experience.

I do not, in any way, shape or form, feel deprived, left out or cheated. I eat what I love and nothing I don't. Before going abstinent from sugar, I couldn't imagine being able to make such a grand commitment. But I'll tell you, without hesitation or asterisk--It is, hands down--the single most important food decision I've ever made.

Giving up sugar has truly helped change my life for the better. It certainly isn't for everybody--and isn't necessary for a lot of people, but folks like me who have addictive reactions to certain foods and substances, stopping the substance--stops the craziness. It's a beautiful thing and I wouldn't trade the peace it's given me for all the sugary treats in the world.

My workout on the elliptical this evening was fantastic. I'm "hearing" my girlfriend Heather's voice in my ears telling me I can do more and I deserve more and better. The two of us only get a chance to exercise together once a week at best, but her ability to coach and encourage in the most positive way has stayed with me when we're not together.

I may go out and buy some new shirts after-all. Yeah, some pull-overs. I love the way this feels.

My Tweets today:
















Thank you for reading and your incredible support,
Strength,
Sean

8 comments:

  1. It's interesting you wore the button down shirt thinking it made you look smaller. My personal view has always been the opposite, always thought button up shirts made me look bigger and pullovers make me look smaller. Always will believe that in my mind. LOL

    I can't help notice how often you mention your abstinent from sugar in your daily blogs. I fully understand why your so excited to include this in your daily blogs, I share the same amazing response, most important daily choice I make everyday. IMO you could mention something about sugar every single blog and that would be just about right. I believe many people misunderstand abstinent from sugar, no added sugar equals low sugar levels. Low blood sugar levels are just as bad as high blood sugar levels. An important concept that we both share is our sugar level is consistently level, not too high or too low, always right in the middle. The most impressive part of your daily food tweets is I notice you keep your blood sugar level in the zone all day long with your consumption of whole fruits and vegetables spread evenly through the day. By avoiding the huge sugar spikes caused from added sugar replacing it with fruits or other vegetables that contain natural sugar, this will optimize your metabolism, turning on the fat burners and be less hungry in the process. Its amazing how a person can focus on how food effects them once all the added sugar is out of the system. It's been nine full months for me as of Friday 9/19. It was not possible for me to understand eating some fruit evenly with all meals during the day is an incredible upgrade for example vs eating fruit only in the morning. Recently I have become convinced one whole fruit at least two vegetables per meal, 4 meals, 4 fruit, 8-12 vegetables per day to maintain perfect sugar levels in the zone, no valleys or peaks, right in the middle.

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    1. What's interesting, Jon, is--you're right. It does have the opposite effect!! It's an interesting study on personal perspective!
      I mention the abstinence often because the positive effect is so incredibly undeniable. It's a powerful change in me. I know you're experiencing the very same effect!
      I appreciate the kudos, Jon. And it's not like I'm intentionally keeping things level-- I'm just doing my best to eat well--love what I eat--and I'm enjoying the process. It feels good!!! Great, actually.

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  2. I have been free from sugar for 21 years. Best decision of my life. If I don't eat a cookie, I cannot eat the whole bag.
    or two
    or three!

    There's the truth, I could consume several bags of cookies in a day, almost like a sugar IV drip.

    Today I'm feasting on life. Much better way to go. As you are discovering, Sean!

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    1. Gerri, you're a hero of mine! "feasting on life," yes, absolutely!

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  3. " I'm not just pretending to be okay anymore, I'm really, genuinely--authentically, okay! And that's an amazing transformation of perspective."

    Reading that quote above just makes me smile. :)

    Authenticity is key. Pretending (even if done with the noble intent to sound positive) leads to what's called cognitive dissonance and that can ruin a person's peace, giving them the underlying felt sense of being inferior and, ultimately, sabotaging their much hoped for positive result as the brain tries to get the words to match the facts,rather than vice versa.

    The trick--when your reality is not what you want it to be--is not to pretend it's something different from what it is, but rather to express that imperfect reality in a hope-filled way.

    Healing expression is not pretending in order to sound positive, and it's not reality expressed to the sounds of doom and gloom, either; but rather, it is reality expressed to the melody of hope.

    It is a bit tricky... Which is why we mess it up so often.

    Fortunately for you, your reality is authentically mighty fine. :D Nothing tricky about expressing that, is there?

    Such a good place to be,

    Deb

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    1. Much easier to express when it's real!! "...It is expressed to the melody of hope." Wow. I LOVE that, Deb.

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  4. It takes a lot of energy to fight against yourself. It's great thing to find peace :)

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