Friday, July 23, 2010

Day 675 Almost Oversleeping The LTW Awards and Even Better Than The Dream

Day 675

Almost Oversleeping The LTW Awards Ceremony and Even Better Than The Dream

It wasn't that long ago, when getting out of bed was a chore. I remember in painful detail. I would sit on the side of the bed, sometimes for a few minutes, maybe longer---and summon the strength to raise my 505 pound body to my feet. I was actually afraid of trying to do it too fast, afraid I might strain something, or worse...something much worse. I can't believe how much fear I carried around back then. It doesn't make sense to me now. Why did I ever allow myself to live in that constant fear of an early death? Like a little kid, lost and scared, looking for a way out of this scary place. I was surrounded by supportive family, yet I felt so alone inside, with a self-destructive internal struggle that seemed determined to get me sooner or later. I thought about this many times while sitting on the side of the very bed I jumped out of this morning.

Getting up is a pleasure now. It's effortless, it feels amazing, that it's really hard to start the day in a bad mood, simply because of the constant reminder of how different things are these days. I just have to look in the mirror right away, give myself a pinch, smile---and proceed to the coffee pot. I was a little short on time this morning, so I picked up a 170 calorie order of scrambled eggs--grabbed a banana on the way to the door, plus I had a Cliff bar stashed away for mid-morning. I was set in the food department for sure!

By the time mid-day rolled around, I quickly realized that my production duties in radio land would absolutely keep me from writing during my lunch hour. I had plans this evening. Ponca City Medical Center has once again asked me to host the "Lose To Win" awards, and I really needed to be there a little before 6pm---decked out in the tuxedo from Sprays Jewelry. I decided to get as much done as possible, then race home and write, then sneak in a little nap before showering and changing for the awards program.

At some point on my trip home, I realized how tired I was becoming. My body was telling me, better---My body was ordering me to take a nap. But wait---today is weigh day! No problem, I thought...I'll just sleep for an hour and fifteen minutes, get up at 4pm--write this blog, go to the doctors office for my official weigh-in, shower and dress---and be perfectly on time. It was a nice thought while it lasted. I over-slept my alarm, waking just in time to jump up quickly, get cleaned up, dressed, and drive straight to the theatre. Weigh day would have to be postponed until tomorrow--and the blog? Uh, it would have to wait. I had a job to do tonight.

I was putting on the tuxedo shirt when I noticed something crazy. The shirt wasn't an extra-large. I put it on the bed and I started to feel a little nervous. What if it doesn't fit? Will I have to wear a plain black casual shirt underneath the jacket, like I opted for last weekend? No, no, NO! It had to fit, I must have a full tuxedo for this event. So I tried on the size large shirt, fit. It actually fit rather well. I could even sit down without popping the buttons off. I didn't have much time to enjoy this NSV, I had to leave for the, now! Can you believe it? A Large...that's nuts in a very good way.

The awards were amazing. 77% of those that participated, finished the challenge---well over 3000 pounds were lost in nine weeks, and checks totaling over five-thousand dollars were handed to the winners, with the top ten in each category being recognized and awarded. It was an event that was such a pleasure to MC---and the audience was outstanding, full of people feeling great about themselves in so many new ways. You want an amazing energy in a room? Just fill the room with people who have lost weight and are feeling better and in more control of their lives than perhaps ever before. You'll feel it, trust me!

Several new tuxedo pictures were taken tonight. I love these, because---well, I feel like a million bucks in that thing. You know? And when I think about how horrible and ugly I felt at my heaviest---and how opposite I feel's just...hard to find words. I once dreamed of this transformation and now the differences in me are even better than those dreams. And of course, those dreams always focused on the physical transformation---oh what a surprise to discover that the most important changes, the most dramatic, the life changing forever stuff---are the changes you can't see in a picture.

Thank you for reading. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,

Before with my daughters!

A year ago at the first LTW Awards--in the tux--May 19th, 2009 Over 100 more pounds lost since that night.

I hate this before picture. OK--really, it's a love/hate thing---Because I'm no longer that guy putting the cake on the table. Speaking of cake---I almost forgot---Cake and punch was served after the awards. Yes, I asked for a middle piece, easy on the icing--cut in half. 150, 200 calories tops...and so very good!

On the phone afterward. Talking with Kenz!

Light was kind of strange--But I love this dog---Scooby is the best!

Nice outdoor shot. Courtney said it was her, it's mine too!

On stage at the Poncan Theatre--after the ceremony, posing---completely. ;)

Tipping my new pink stainless steel water bottle given to me by Ponca City Medical Center's Healthy Woman program

A, really? A Large---I swear, I bet it's been since age 11. I still can't believe it---but there's the see that? I was comfortably wearing a large!!!!!! I just want to shout it!


  1. Congratulations on wearing the large shirt. It's amazing how exciting these "little" things are in the world of weight loss. I had to go buy all new shirts and under-clothes just a couple of months ago. It felt fantastic! For the first time in awhile I was buying new clothes because mine were falling off! I am so happy to see that I am not alone on being excited about these milestones.

    By the way, I have just started a blog myself about healthy living. It can be found at I would love if you would swing by and say hello. I am new to both reading and wring blogs, and I love your positive attitude!

  2. Congratulations on the large!!! That is awesome!!

    The pictures are great.

  3. Love the large shirt label photo. What an awesome accomplishment. Can't wait for the weigh-in post.

  4. Awwww... I can just feel your excitement at the large! How fun is that?!


  5. Way to rock a tuxedo! Totally cute dog - yours?

  6. Awesome...congrats Sean, how exciting to be down another size!!!

  7. You are such a handsome guy! Congrats on the large. Great pictures!

  8. The most amazing change in you is your attitude. I read some of your entries about how you used to think, and how you think now... and that's what I find inspirational, and that is the key to your success. I know what it is like to live with that fear, my husband and I have been working on changing that now.

  9. WTG on getting into a large. You looked wonderful and I bet that group was the most positive group to be in.

  10. Congratulations - you started me on my program and I'm doing great. At first when I started reading your blog from the beginning (I think I'm around day 16 now - trying to read just one a day and jumping ahead cause I just can't wait to read the next one!) I thought - this guy is just too positive - he's sticking to it too easy, I could never do that - BUT I AM. For the first time it's not a matter of "sticking to it" it's a matter of, "this is how I live now". I've faced cookies and cake this week at the office with no problem. Followed you early on for a birthday party and had a small piece from the middle today - actually cutting off the end with the frosting! Other than one faux paux with a calorie count, I've met my goal each and every day for 6 days now. Bless you for your inspiration and guidance. I don't know how much I weigh now (over 400) but am on the journey now thanks to you. My 3 children will have a mother longer because of you and your blog. By the way, you are TOTALLY HOT! Keep up the great work. :)

  11. I'm proud of you everyday, but especially today. And, of course, I'm partial to the picture because I'm in it..kind of..well, you know. Anyway, you're doing so incredibly well, and I'm beyond honored to have you in my world.

    And a large is so incredibly're amazing.

  12. So happy for you Sean, you look so good (HOT)!!

    You joy is shining bright in those photo's;)
    Delighted for you.

    Big Hugs


  13. The trepidation of taking clothes off a hangar and wondering...will it fit? What if it doesn't? And then the sigh of relief when you put it on, followed by the sheer joy in your heart! Can't put a price on THAT, can you? Congratulations!

    By the way, went to a wedding last night. Your "blog voice" was in my head as I hit up the steamed broccoli and went very light on the garlic mashed potatoes in the buffet line. Lots of bang for my calorie buck! It was there again as I had my two bites of cake. Love it when a plan comes together!

    Have a great weekend,


  14. Sean,

    I am so happy for you. Although I have never weighed over 500 lbs, I can feel the excitement you have in waking up every morning knowing you have been given a second chance at life. And you have worked so hard. It makes me realize the things I take for granted so much of the time. It takes a wake up call for many of us to realize and appreciate what we have, for some it's too late. Addiction of any kind can zap the life right out of you...doesn't have to be a food addiction. Making good choices period, regardless of the circumstances or temptations we are faced with every day can be tough, and can be the difference between life or death.

    Take Care and God Bless!


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