Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.
It was a long and emotional Saturday. So many people were hurting at the funeral of my son-in-law's father. Their sadness; their pain was the energy- but also, their memories, stories, and laughter were like little rainbows sprinkled throughout occasional showers on an overcast day. Their joy in recalling favorite memories were promises of better days to come.
I couldn't help but feel emotionally vulnerable too- I'm human- and I have a heart and care about people, so it's hard to not be "in it" with them. I wasn't as close to Kenny as others in attendance today, but my goodness, after experiencing the profound impact of his love, I wish I would have made the time to visit a little longer with him throughout the years.
I was there in support of my daughter and her husband on this difficult day. I brought with me the love and support from those here who couldn't make it on this day. Kenny was an amazing man. He was full of love for people. His kind, caring, and peaceful spirit always seemed to have a calm grasp on what was truly important. The rest? Well, in his words, "don't care." I admired that about him.
|I love this picture of Kenny and my daughter Amber|
I was impressed by how the church prepared a dinner featuring ham glazed with brown sugar and one without. Surely a consideration for the diabetics in attendance- of course, they didn't know about my sensitivity, but it was perfect for me too.
On the way home, I had food thoughts. Not good ones.
My brain was saying, "Whoa, Sean, buddy- what a day, huh? Feelings overload, am I right? Man... hey, what do you say we take a break from feeling and binge out? Come on man... you're not a machine!! You need this, dude... come on...follow me."
I'm no stranger to these occasional thoughts. I know them well. I also know that it doesn't stop for me- and it doesn't stop if I "feed" that voice.
One of the many valuable things I've learned from my friend and mentor Gerri Helms is how to pause and "threaten" to tell on that voice if the harassment continues. It's crazy-amazing how that works.
I didn't binge on the way home. When I stopped for gas and water, I responded to a couple of support text reach outs to me--and that always helps me too. If I can help someone else--it immediately takes me out of myself, to a place where I can think much clearer. That powerful truth is something else Gerri has taught me over the years.
I also texted a couple of people and spent the rest of the time listening to inspirational podcasts from Ted Radio Hour, NPR's Fresh Air, Heather Robertson's podcast Half-Size-Me, and my Transformation Planet podcast interview with Jordan Burgess.
I could have reached out more to people. Instead, I offered my support in response to others and became immersed in positive listening while I made the 3-hour drive home.
By the time I made it back, I was exhausted. I didn't care that it was late, I knew- I was getting at least an hour nap as a refresher. That turned into a three-hour snooze fest.
It's late and who knows how long it'll take me to go back to bed. But I'll get there.
I prepared some avocado topped Ezekiel toast and I'm enjoying these while I write this post. This seemed like a better option for me instead of preparing a full-blown dinner at this hour.
My calories are on the low end for today (1,698), but all things considered, I'm more than okay with this tonight.
I've mentioned Gerri Helms a couple of times in this post. And here's one more-- Gerri has offered to come out of retirement to help me create and present a very powerful 4-day/4-hour intensive workshop. Will you join us? If you have questions, please email me right away: firstname.lastname@example.org or you can text or call the Transformation Planet hotline at 580-491-2228. Gerri is also available to answer your questions. You can text or call Gerri at 407-274-0519. Here's the promotional one-sheet describing this powerful and rare opportunity:
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The incredible love and support I receive each day is something for which I'm deeply grateful. Thank you for reading this daily diary and as always, thank you for your continued support.