Sunday, April 30, 2017

April 30th, 2017 It's My Brain

April 30th, 2017 It's My Brain

I haven't felt the best today. Mom hasn't either. In fact, her nurse called me today to inform me of her condition. It's nothing serious, but certainly, includes unfavorable symptoms. I'll spare you the graphic details. I haven't had the same extreme symptoms she's had, but I've felt not well. I slept well last night and I've made rest a priority today. I'm over 400 calories short of my maintenance calorie budget and I'm going to let that be okay for today. An occasional day below budget isn't a bad thing. Besides, since I'm about to retire for the night, I'll have been up less than 12 hours--so actually, it seems reasonable.

I need the rest tonight. Tomorrow is a heavily involved day from start to finish.

I didn't accomplish everything I wanted to accomplish this weekend. I did maintain the integrity of the plan that keeps me well. And that is a wonderful thing to me.

I had fun with dinner tonight. I made pita pizzas. Let me be clear--pizza, like the kind from a pizza place, is certainly on my list of trigger foods. I do not, under any circumstances, eat take-out pizza, not because there's something wrong with it--rather, it's my brain--If I eat a slice, my brain wants 8 more. That's how I'm wired. It just is. And that's precisely why I must make my plan important each day--otherwise, I know what happens--I've lived what happens when I don't make a daily plan important.

Is it the refined sugar in the crust and sauce? Is it the prominence of take-out pizza in hundreds of binges from my past? Maybe all of those combined. Pizza from a "pizza place" isn't my food and it will not be my food for as long as I live with continued recovery. That's just me. Maybe you can do it and be perfectly fine. I know myself well enough to know, I can't.

But for whatever reason, when I take the time, consideration, and care in making certain all ingredients are refined sugar-free, and I take the time to meticulously chop and weigh, to the gram and ounce, each ingredient, then I log it all in MyFitnessPal--it changes it for me. Now, instead of my brain categorizing it as an "indulgence," it's simply categorized as an on-plan dinner--weighed, measured, logged, refined sugar-free--and enjoyed.

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget (as in 'didn't exceed'-I was over 400 calories short), I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

I really hope and pray mom is feeling better tomorrow. I hope to feel better too. I stopped by for a fast visit this evening. The anti-nausea medication had rendered her absolutely out of her head. She was in a zombie state and wasn't making any sense with her speech and thoughts. I'm grateful that she's in a place where she's getting the immediate medical attention she needs at any given time.

I'm grateful for many things, actually.

Today's Accountability Tweets:

Thank you for reading and your continued support,


  1. Hello Sean, I hope your Mom gets feeling better and you get your rest too. Personally your idea of pizza is more appealing. I've lost 46 lbs since October and determined to lose 50 more before August when I go to NY. But I love your meal postings because not only are you a wonderful inspiration but you have great ideas to stay on track. P.S. I really love hearing you on KLOR again! You're the voice of Ponca City!

  2. Good vibes and thoughts for feeling better to you and your mom! Love your "Pizza Perspective!" Thank you for sharing it.


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