Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Day 31 Tough Start-Good Finish

Day 31

Tough Start-Good Finish

Today was one of those days. You know what I'm talking about. I got up later than I needed to, I didn't sleep well or enough, and overall I just felt “off”. I got to work and discovered we were out of coffee creamer and I forgot to bring a bowl for my oatmeal. I wasn't in the mood to skip breakfast. We all know how important it is to give your metabolism something to chew on in the mornings, and I remember what happened the last time I tried to cook oatmeal in a disposable cup. So there I was: Tired, grumpy, hungry, and no coffee at 6am. Oh, I could have had plain black coffee I guess, but I don't like it that much. I'm a coffee with non-dairy creamer user, and some might say abuser. It's one of those habits I've spoke of before. I'll get to it when I'm ready. Right now, I want my coffee! And I want it with creamer. To those that listen to my morning radio show it may come as a surprise to know that I'm not a natural morning person. My natural inclination is to be a mid-morning-noon-ish kind of guy. I've adapted to a morning schedule because my career demanded it...and coffee has helped me make that transition over the years. I was not in a great mood this morning, you can't hear that on the air because I'm a professional, and I can do my job separate from how I feel. But I was looking forward to an early lunch, and then I didn't time my lunch or communicate my intentions very well and ended up eating alone, instead of with family as planned. So by the time noon rolled around I was lacking all kinds of motivation and positive energy. This was probably the most vulnerable I've been to temptation the entire 31 days. When we're not in the best mood it makes it more challenging to care about good choices. But I know from experience that this is when I have to be the toughest. I have to remember that things change, and moods change, and this “tilted” feeling I had this morning and today would go away, and it did. It took a refreshing afternoon nap to get it done. I woke up feeling great and re-energized. I didn't give in to my bad attitude this morning. I didn't make a bad choice. I stayed on track, because really, after 31 days I'm on a roll here. This is the time for me to get this job done. And it doesn't matter what mood I'm in or what the day brings my way, nothing is going to keep me from making good decisions when it comes to food and exercise. It would've been real easy to leave the station after my show and devour a days worth of calories to comfort my bad morning. But after all of this self-discovery and progress and support from readers like you, that would have had the most negative effect of anything. It wouldn't have made me feel better, it would have made me feel much worse. Stopping long enough to recognize my dietary motivations and analyzing the consequences is a new way of conducting myself. I can't count how many pints of ice cream I've consumed in the past because I was feeling down and wanted to make myself feel better. It's a really old habit rooted in complicated psychology. But it's real easy to understand it when you break it down to “good choice vs. bad choice”. You just have to delay your decision long enough for the sun to shine again and the fog to clear, then you can clearly see the right choice, the good choice.

For the longest time I've had a very limited wardrobe because of my size. I actually have several clothes waiting patiently in the closet until I get small enough to wear them again. Today, after losing 30 pounds, I put on a shirt that just 31 days ago was too tight for comfort. It now fits just fine. I put it on and then got in the van and easily clicked my seatbelt. These are exciting results that keep me going! With well over 200 pounds to lose, 30 doesn't seem like it would make that big of a difference, but it has. It is fun to realize that it will just keep getting better and better. With each day, one day at a time, I'll get there. I still have shirts that I opened for Christmas that are ready to wear, in fact I'm wearing one of them right now! I'm really looking forward to walking into a regular store and knowing, not hoping, knowing that they will have a size that fits me. For the longest time my wardrobe has been dictated by my size. It happens with a lot of obese people. I haven't been wearing what I really would like to wear my entire adult life. Because on most occasions, the decision to buy a piece of clothing wasn't based on fashion, it has always been based on what fits, and since the bigger sizes are far more expensive, what we could afford. When I get to my goal weight, I'll finally look in the mirror and see what I want to wear instead of what I have to wear.

Tonight was the second night for our YMCA workouts. It was a real good workout too! The walking trail is a very steady workout. The racquetball court provides a series of short high energy burst of workout. And I'm here to tell you, it can get very intense, very quick. It's also really fun! Amber went with us tonight and before her workout we had her make a digital video of us in the court. She'll show me how to transfer it to the computer and I'll post it in a separate blog sub-post in the next couple of days. We all had a real good work out, and it was very cool to have Amber with us!

I hope you know how much I appreciate your blog comments and support! Please keep them coming! I will always make an effort to return my support to you! If you're on this journey too, then let us know how you're doing! Day 31 is history, it wasn't the easiest day, but it was a day that will make future “rough start” days much easier.

Good Choices,
Sean

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