Bad Mood Glares and Mini-Snicker Fares
There are some days that, for whatever reason, you're just not “in the mood”. Being in a bad mood can make things much harder than they need to be. This is when the challenge to stay focused and on track is the greatest. When you're “not feeling it”, you're making yourself vulnerable to temptation. One of the many things I've analyzed about myself is how mood effects my calorie intake and commitment. When starting this journey, I knew that in order to see this mission all the way to the ultimate goal, I would need to gain a much better understanding of my past attempts and behaviors. When you go about breaking down your personality and habits, it takes some real straight forward honesty with yourself. Being completely honest, admitting complete responsibility, and flat out confronting horrible habits and tendencies within your own personality can be a very tough pill to swallow. My past experiences have showed me that the best way for me to go on an all out binge is to get in a real bad mood. The strategy is simple: I'm in a bad mood, so a double decker cheeseburger with bacon and mayo will taste good, and make me feel better. And it does, for about twenty minutes. After that my bad mood would actually get worse when I realized how bad I had just wrecked my day. Then comes the “ah, the heck with it” attitude. Then it really gets bad. I've ended so many weight loss attempts using this pattern, now I know what to watch out for. Everybody gets in a bad mood once in a while. It's normal! I've heard people say that we “choose” to be in a bad mood, and we can just as easily “choose” to be in a good mood. And I understand that way of thinking, but I also know that sometimes despite our attempts to avoid it, a bad mood can strike. When it does my defenses have to be really high. I decided on September 15th that nothing was going to keep me from being totally 100% on track every minute of every day. And that means no matter what happens, good or bad, my calorie budget and commitment can not be compromised, it's simply not an option. Some might say... “Well Sean, that's easy to say, but when I'm in a bad mood, I eat, that's how I deal.” ME TOO! That's what I've been talking about here. If you choose to accept your behaviors as “just the way it is” then you'll do exactly as I've done for the last twenty some years. I've had to recognize this and flat out battle this habit many times in the last 46 days. I had to deal with it today! That's why I'm writing about it tonight! If I give myself a little bit of time to think before I react, I can avoid making a horrible choice. That last sentence can cover a lot of things, much more than just food! I may look like a complete nut, but I'll even talk out loud to myself if I have to. “Get out of my head you crazy “pig out” thoughts! You're not winning this one.” Hey, whatever keeps me on the straight and narrow is perfectly fine with me. If we find it almost impossible to “choose” to be in a good mood, then we have to control the consequences of the mood we choose. I take great pride in being in control of myself, and when that pride and confidence is higher than the threatening mood I'm in, then I win every time. And after twenty plus years of losing, it feels good to win!
Amber came home for the weekend today. We love having her home for a few days. I'm going to dress up my two daughters for Halloween and take them out to collect candy bars for daddy. Oh, wait...That's what I use to do. I can remember driving them around to trick-or-treat and “charging” them for the ride. “Girls, if you want this car to go to the next block of houses, then I'm going to need two Snickers and a Kit-Kat.” The longer they kept the chocolate coming, the longer we would trick-or-treat! Irene would finally have to step in and ban me from their bags, after all they were doing all the work, and I really didn't need 4000 calories worth of chocolate in one night. My girls would actually hide their bags from me! Isn't that horrible? No, no, not horrible that they were hiding the bags, horrible that they felt they needed to. I guess the days of trick-or-treating is over for us now. In about ten or fifteen years I can look forward to charging my grandkids for trick-or-treat driving. Wouldn't want to break tradition would we? I'm kidding! No, I'm not. Snack size Snickers, man those things are little morsels of heaven. Hey, some things are harder to quit than others.
Have a fantastic day and thank you for reading Day 46. I'm still on top of the world over my 50 pound loss in 44 days. I feel like this is the beginning of a whole new life. Day 47 is just hours away, until then—Good night and...