Monday, August 3, 2009

Day 322 My Kryptonite Is Powerless and Losing a Reader

Day 322

My Kryptonite Is Powerless and Losing a Reader

The girls had some friends over last night for a sleepover. Late last night their friends decided to run to the store to buy some goodies. My defenses were immediately heightened. Upon their return I noticed something in their bags that concerned me. I knew it wasn't Amber or Courtney's decision to purchase this item, but still I was uncomfortable with it being in our house. It was kryptonite. My kryptonite. A big half gallon of ice cream. We haven't had a half gallon of ice cream in this household during this entire journey, why start now? “Because our friends wanted it and they made the purchase.” I was completely cool about it really. I call it my kryptonite, but really, I'm not sure that I can be swayed by any food at this point. I say this because, if ice cream doesn't do it, then I can't imagine anything else moving me a stray. I looked at it long enough to remember the old times and then I turned around and shut the freezer door behind me and retired to the bedroom. If I had the calories left I may have had a serving, I didn't. The empty carton was in the trash by the time I got up this morning. Amber and Courtney may have had a small serving, but the bulk of it was devoured by one of their friends who is always telling Courtney “I need to lose weight like you, but I don't know how.” I wonder if they noticed Courtney and Amber's example?

I haven't had much time for the computer today, but I did read some wonderful comments, and it was during this that I noticed something that bugged me. I lost a follower. Of course my personality requires me to stress about this and try to figure out who and why they clicked “no longer follow.” I've always been described as “likable,” and I think I sometimes have an unhealthy obsession with trying to please everyone all the time for the sake of being likable. We all want to be loved and liked, ya know? After trying to figure out who was missing from the list, I finally realized I didn't have time to continue this crazy search. Was last night's blog too much? I re-read the thing five times. I'm not apologizing for anything I've ever written, this is my story, my journey, my feelings, my experiences. I'll never alter my thoughts to please anyone but me. But still I wondered, was it something I said? Was it the “I may be fat but you're ugly” thing from my childhood? Maybe it was a childhood bully that I directed that to, and the blog from last night reminded them of that horrible memory. I don't know. I have no idea. Maybe they thought...geez, this guy is full of himself...or maybe they were turned off by the nightclub talk. Maybe they were dropping me from their blogroll because I haven't had a chance yet to discover theirs and leave a comment, and this one sided relationship just wasn't working for them anymore. I don't know, and I refuse to worry about it any longer. I just noticed someone else signed up to replace whoever dropped. But to the person that clicked “no longer follow”: Maybe you had a completely good reason to drop me. But whatever the reason, understand that this is my journey from 505 to 230 or whatever feels right. Along the way, I'm sharing my experiences, emotions, triumphs, and struggles. If you read closely, you will find a very simple road map to losing weight and feeling great too. I can't imagine that you were a regular reader, because if you really understood me and knew what this blog is about, why would you delete me? See---I told you that I think highly of this blog and my journey.--- It hasn't been perfect, but it has been—and will continue to be successful in every way. I wish you the best. They're not going to read this are they?

We had a very nice dinner (grilled chicken breast—rice--green beans—California blend of veggies—and a nice little potato dish that we all sampled) followed by a really long family meeting tonight. I'm so impressed with the maturity levels of our daughters. We're very lucky parents, these kids are extremely level headed and very smart. As serious as some of our issues are these days, we still find a way to laugh together. Laughter is a major component of this family's happiness and success. No matter where we are financially, emotionally, maritally---we still have the ability to laugh at the end of a long serious discussion. I love that about us.

It's time for some exercise! The plan is to head out to the trail, all four of us, and conquer a real 10K. But honestly, I think we're getting short on time tonight for a 10K. As much as I wanted to do one today, it looks like we'll have to pick another day this week. We'll still go and get a great workout tonight, but sometimes we have to be willing to adjust our plans and realize that it certainly doesn't change where we're headed. The realization that the trail isn't quite as long as we thought all this time is still tough for me to think about. But I'm cooling off over it all. The whole idea of a 10K tonight was to “show that trail” that it doesn't have anything on us!! But hey, there's plenty of time for that. We'll go walk and I'll finish up this blog post when we return...

OK, we're back! We didn't do a 10K, we didn't even do a 5K, but we came close to a 5K...probably could have stretched it out and hit it, but Amber and Courtney were developing rubs and Irene needed a 'facility.' And I was simply overjoyed to have all four of us out there walking hard, sweating, and moving toward wonderful results. We'll get a 10K in sometime this week. It's not a big deal.

I love the feeling of going to bed confident in what we're doing and have done. I know that weigh day is coming up on Wednesday and I'm really looking forward to hitting the 200 pounds lost milestone. If I can find a computer code that would shoot confetti out of your computer, that would be cool. It'll certainly be a fun blog to write, followed by another when I get below 300 here soon. I so love life now, despite everything and anything else, I love this journey. Thank you for reading. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean

24 comments:

  1. sean, i've lost readers too, but as near as I can tell it may be those that have deleted their blogs. I've been going through my blog rolls and finding several bloggers that were in my challenge have deleted their blogs. Or it maybe someone who just has put too many blogs on their read list and can't keep up with them all. Hang in there buddy. You're doing great

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  2. Yea, I'm sure the follower leaving wasn't you but something going on with them. So glad you had a good family talk and got a walk in too. I can't wait to hear about you hitting that 200 lbs mark, maybe one of these days I will get to join that club.

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  3. Sean you precious (nice term)little stress head....You remind me of myself ...worrying if you offend someone or something...I am learning that I can not decide things for other people.... I think you will find that it has nothing to do with you and more about them and thier journey or lack of it....
    Bit like when I am the size I am, I think everyone is thinking and talking about my size when in actual fact most people are so absorb with themselves they don't even notice you have lost or gained weight for quite some time...
    Just my thoughts
    Oh and as for the Your ugly at least I can diet comment....as an adult, yeah not the best comment but you didn't make the comment as a adult you made it as a child and as children we make childish mistakes ...give your self a break :-)
    Lastly hehee...you have beautiful girls, level headed etc because of you and Irenen and the time and effort you have put into them ....be proud of that

    Take care


    www.kathiejourney.com

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  4. Well you didn't lose me.. still following and still being inspired by you.

    Your family sounds so much like mine. We've been thru hell and back yet have always managed EVERY day of our life (at least since the divorce.. oddly enough) to laugh. It's almost like we KNOW that's what makes us get through it all.

    BTW.. ice cream is Kryptonite to me too. OMG I cannot handle it. So I definitely buy my ice cream in single serving sizes (Skinny cow treats, etc.) or I will otherwise sit down with a spoon and a half gallon and polish off a large sum of it without thinking at all!

    I just hit the 200's this past week! I don't share that info with a lot of people but a man who's been in your position can relate and not instantly have a bad opinion of a 300+ lb. woman! LOL

    Actually, I just recently put up the little tracker at the top of my blogs now so the whole world knows I USED to be over 300 and I don't even care! It's my past... my future is from the 200's on now.. and honey, just wait til I hit the One-Derfuls! LOL

    Keep up the great work, the strength and keeping yourself & your family first. You continue to inspire!
    (((HUGS)))
    Bev

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  5. Sean, Sean, Sean, you are daft for worrying about a missing follower, I am sure it was nothing you did or said wrong, maybe they no longer blog or something. Sincerely, it is not worth worrying about. I can tell you worry about not catching up with others regularly, but we all get those weeks where we can write our own blogs and can briefly read others, but lack the time to comment. We fellow bloggers understand and just catch up when we can.

    Well done for coping with the Kryptonite. I think mine would be peanut butter, so it doesn't get any house room here (sniff). I take it your fridge is fixed now then, either that or it was rather soggy when they came to eat it, lol!

    I can hardly wait for your weigh in on Weds - surely there is some application that can be added to make the confetti - I shall be expecting it now!

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  6. I echo the comments gone before, life takes us all off on different paths at different times. I visit many different blogs and I amazed at how many followers they have. I am tickled pink to have 12 WhooHoo!! Don't worry about it, you are an inspiration to al who read your blog, don't forget a lot of people follow without logging as a follower. I have people in my favourites bar that I am not a "follower" of. So you have probably got more readers than you know about.

    Well done with the Kryptonite:0)
    Well done on family stuff.

    Looking forward to your weigh in on Wednesday, I have got the party poppers ready.

    Hugs

    Sheilagh

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  7. I don't even know what Krytponite is -still!

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  8. I love Fat Free Me's comment! You are awesome, my friend, and with what you have been through in the last week much less the last year--be kind to yourself. I am so looking forward to life as normal tomorrow and will be reading and commenting again! DH says hi! Blessings--Bonnie

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  9. ibid with above comments on the lost follower. i would only stop following a blog if i couldnt read it or it wasnt making sense. this person is prob quitting their blog or tired of reading positive accomplishments.

    ice cream doesnt do it for me, but salty snacks do. you say, "I say this because, if ice cream doesn't do it, then I can't imagine anything else moving me a stray." i think that if youre hungry, youll indulge. if i was hungry and there were tostitos with a hint of lime and sala con queso sitting near me, id indulge. but if i wasnt hungry, i wouldnt. this might be obvious, but i feel its a huge deciding factor in overeating. well, its a big helping factor.

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  10. I remember the first time I lost a follower, and I wondered what I did. I still lose followers, but I don't stress about it. I am just shocked that people actually follow my rambling posts in the first place. ;-)

    Laughter is wonderful, and I'm glad your family can do that as well.

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  11. Sean, it probably wasn't you at all, it was the follower. Sometimes I stop following because the blog just doesn't speak to me anymore - which is usually my fault because I "followed" too soon without reading the blog for a while. For example, I know that a lot of weight loss bloggers do Weight Watchers. That's fine but when they start blogging every single day about this point or that point or exchange or whatever, all that WW stuff doesn't really interest me. I'm much more interested in the humanity of it all -- how are you sticking with your chosen method despite life happening all around you. That's just me though.

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  12. I have to smile about your worrying over losing a reader, because when the time comes I know I will be exactly that way! I am just starting a blog and have let worries about "potential readers" stop me from even getting going until now.

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  13. SEAN!!! I lose followers practically every day, but I can say the same for those I gain as well. However, I totally understand where you're coming from..when I first started the blog, I always "checked up" on my followers...how many today? no new followers? why did that person stop following? It drove me crazy...Then I realized that there are sooooooooo many people following my journey, except they don't follow publicly!! I have regular comments from them on practically every post, yet I don't see them on my followers list!! So knowing that was enough for me.

    Also, I have...no...I HAD this crazy need to try to please everyone...now, my focus is on being an honest, sincere and caring individual who does what I can to help when I can and that's about it. So with that said, this person who stopped following has nothing to do with you!!

    200 POUNDS LOST!!! FABULOUS!! Can't wait to celebrate with you!! Go get it, because you DESERVE it!!! YOU DESERVE IT!!!! :)

    I've said it before, but I'll say it again...your girls are amazing...great, strong family...I love it!!

    Okay, that's enough..I always say that I'll write a quick short comment and it almost ALWAYS turns out to be a lengthy post....sorry.

    Take care, stay stron, chin up and all the best to you and your girls!!!

    Joania

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  14. Oh, I forgot.... ICE CREAM????? That would have done me in...good job resisting!!

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  15. Good for you on the quality family time. Kudos for resisiting the kryptonite. And forget about the lost follower...it was probably on their end and nothing in the world to do with you. How could it be? You're too awesome. Have a good one hottie. :)

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  16. Always a pleasure to read sir; always. Well done on all fronts: food, family, fun, exercise, etc.

    Be well

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  17. I'm still here. I'm like your own personal cheerleader. I tell EVERYBODY about your blog and how it has inspired me. You probably also have several lurkers. Keep up the good work!

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  18. Hi Sean! I am a new follower, I got on board during your peanut butter and fritos post. The fact that you stopped yourself after a few of them was something that really spoke to me. Then I read how for you had come to that point and I was hooked. Thanks for the inspiration...
    In my mind you talk with a Southern accent just so you know!

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  19. You have done such a great job. I LOVE your blog and I am not leaving! :)

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  20. People delete accounts. Some get deleted due to lack of activity. It's not worth fretting about. They go up, they go down...

    Personally, I'd take the followers going down as long as the scale doesn't go up.

    Keep doing what you're doing and the readers will come.

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  21. Great job on resisting the kryptonite. I'm not sure I would have been as strong. I'll think of you next time I'm staring a half gallon in the eye. The family time together sounds divine.

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  22. Don't worry about losing a follower...you've gained one here. I just recently discovered your blog and it's become a must read for me every day, but just haven't done the "follow" thing yet, (and I bet there are other "lurkers" like me out there.)

    I really do love your blog! You have done an awesome job losing weight, and I love your honesty and positive outlook. You've been a great encouragement to me without even knowing it. :)

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  23. WOW - the part about losing a reader? I could have written that! I too have major issues with being liked, and want to fix whatever problem someone else has with me, even if it was fabricated by them and not me. Hugs to you on that one.

    Congratulations on beating the ice cream monkey - that is so incredibly awesome!

    So..by losing that one reader, you gained another - me. Isn't it funny how irony works?

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  24. HEy! My "followers" count changes daily... no joke! They are never the same two days in a row. It may also be a flaw in blogspot- THAT is why you shouldn't fret.

    I was a little worried when you speculated that NO food would sway you... Just from my own experience (and this may not pertain to you)- I never liked potato chips, and ate about 5 my whole life until about May. Everything changed- I got blindsided by something I thought I didn't even have to worry about. Now they are a potential issue.

    Just trading experiences...

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