Friday, August 28, 2009

Day 347 The Most Amazing Feeling and The End of The Binge

Day 347

The Most Amazing Feeling and The End of The Binge

You know what thrills me? When someone sends me an e-mail like Tina did today. She told me that she had spent the last few days reading every single day of this journey—all 346 days, and that she's never felt more inspired. She compared it to the first time she listened to a Jillian Michaels podcast. That's a huge compliment my friend. Are you sure about that? Well, here...I hope you don't mind Tina, here's some of what she had to say: “I just finished reading the whole thing (instead of getting any work done for the last few days!) and I can't say I've ever been so inspired.”... “I could go on all day about how much I was inspired by your blog but I'll try to sum it up. I feel like I felt the first time I heard one of Jillian Michael's podcasts. Everything makes so much sense and seems easy but Jillian was never obese. Hearing these things from you, a real person, someone like me, was exactly what I needed.” I never get tired of hearing these “reader reviews,” if you will. And it has nothing to do with patting myself on the back. It's not about me. It's about you. It has everything to do with the power of your journey. You have the power to really demonstrate a positive change to your friends, your family, and to complete strangers from all over the world. You have the power to inspire change. I'm nobody special or different than you. I'm a guy who spent nearly two decades at over 500 pounds and who finally broke it down for myself and family into easy to digest simplified terms. That's the wonderful thing about sharing your journey. It's the most amazing feeling to know that maybe your story has helped someone help themselves. Tina, thank you! You can find her blog at www.fatgirldivesin.blogspot.com

The other day I was visiting Jack Sh*t's blog and I ran across a comment that bothered me a little. It doesn't bother me really now. OK, it still does a bit or else I wouldn't be writing about it. I don't remember the exact wording, but it was something to the effect of: you (speaking to Jack) sounded like a real person, not like a character Sean has to be...” I immediately told myself this person doesn't know you and has obviously never read your blog, she doesn't understand what she's saying. So just so it's clear to anyone new to these pages: I'm not playing a character. I'm me. I'm a real person. I'm not perfect and I'm definitely not playing a “character.” She was really just trying to make Jack feel better because Jack said he thought he sounded like a doofus, considering her intentions...I'm good with it all. And Jack, you seriously do not sound like a doofus. You sound like a real person. A real honest, intelligent, and super talented person. I'll admit, there may have been some bad acting on my part in that fun little intro---but I was playing the part of me.

A blogger friend of mine asked me a question recently. She wants to know how I deal with the urge to binge. That urge doesn't happen these days, but early on---Oh my, it was an issue at times. So what got me through? From the very beginning, I knew that if this time was really going to be the last, if it was really going to be different, I had to analyze my past failed attempts. One key flaw was that I never really gave this journey the importance level it deserved. When I felt that crazy unexplained urge to binge, I would always rationalize my way into feeling OK about “letting loose” a little. I would binge and then rarely ever be back on track in a solid way. Binging was no longer an acceptable thing this time. When those crazy thoughts would come---I would have to be honest enough with myself to recognize the danger threatening my journey. It's a real war inside the brain. But I had given this journey the utmost of importance in my life, and if I binge---it's going to surely be ripped away from me. I couldn't let that happen. This is too important. So I fought those crazy thoughts---I beat them down. Just tonight I commented a struggling friend and suggested this: Whenever something is threatening your journey---anything really---a thought, a circumstance, an emotion, an unexplained yearning---whatever it is---treat it like it's an intruder trying to kidnap one of your kids. Treat it like it's someone trying to kill you. If either one of those situations were happening, you would fight to the death to defend your family and yourself. Make your journey that important. Because it really is. You have to be strict with yourself. A gradual decline in your resolve can eat away at your journey slowly---with equally deadly consequences. Defend it with everything. Don't let anything steal this away from you.

Here's an excerpt from Day 24: My level of strictness is equal to my desire to be successful on this mission. I want it and I want it bad, and I know myself better than anyone, I know that if I give myself an inch, I'll eat the whole thing. I feel like this is training for a healthier lifestyle. I'm training myself to understand food better, to discover flavors, to understand proper portion amounts, to really better understand exercise and nutrition benefits, I'm in training for a healthier, longer, more satisfying life. And I have to do it on the straight and narrow. When I put my head on that pillow I have to feel good about my calorie and exercise performance. And when you feel good about what you're doing, your confidence goes way up, your results start to add up, and you'll never be kept up by guilt. Guilt makes us feel bad about ourselves and that's when we're the most vulnerable to temptation, and I understand how that can snowball into a complete crash. I'm keeping it between the lines.

The only acceptable level of binge control is complete prevention. Fight for your success. Fight hard and soon it's not a fight anymore. Those crazy urges go away because they know that you'll stand up for yourself against them. Tricky, because the enemy you're fighting is the old you.

Thank you for all the well wishes and prayers for Courtney. She's feeling much better and continues to take her medication. She'll be back in school in the morning. After dinner tonight, Courtney had a math tutoring class at the high school. Didn't we just talk about math recently? Courtney has aced every math class so far, I'm so proud of her! But she's done it through hard work and consistent effort in learning. She'll make tutoring a twice a week requirement if she needs it to fully understand the work. Irene and I headed off for the YMCA for some weight training and a friendly little game of racquetball. We took along the camera for some pictures in the weight room. We're both sore now.

Irene is at work and the morning alarm will sound soon. Thank you for reading! Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean

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That was a tough rep

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Smile through it baby! She may be stronger than me!

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She's so sweet---working the biceps

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Working the “serious” pose

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Good form baby, good form!

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I always get this look when I'm lifting...fifteen pounds.

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Oh, be careful baby! So beautiful...very nice.

27 comments:

  1. You look so skinny--hard to believe that's the same face. Amazing! Glad to see you guys working out together--fun!

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  2. Sean ... you are looking so good. Your face is very thin. Looking good my friend....

    While reading your blog this morning, I just knew that you were talking about me when you mentioned "the struggling friend" and I hadn't even read your comment on my blog yet. I am going to try to stay off those damn scales until Monday's only and see how that works for me. I won't forget your words about fighting as if someone were trying to take my child. I would kill them if I had to. Although I hope I don't kill myself trying to do this (which I know it won't), I will do this, someway, somehow.

    You truly are an inspiration and your words are in my head every day. I think of so many things that you say throughout the day. How can someone fail when they follow your example and advice? I doubt they can.

    Thanks Sean!

    Hugs!

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  3. Thank you Sean for the inspiration. I think I may spend this weekend going back and reading alot of your early days. I could really use it right about now.

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  4. BTW... Awesome pics of you and myRene! You guys look great!

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  5. Love the bingeing analogy, I will use it when the afternoon munchies set in today. Thanks!

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  6. Well you guys look awesome...
    Must say Irene... I don't smile when I was doing weights....You guys rock

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  7. You have so much to be proud of! All though that comment may of upset you for real reasons, you are right they don't know you, none of us do. We only know what you write and how we interprete it when we read it.

    To me a new reader, you have done amazing things, not only with your life but with your families. Keep it up, keep fighting!

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  8. Great workout pics!! I felt like you were talking to me today *smile*. It is about fighting off that old me. I guess I just want to be "normal" but really what is normal anyway lol. We all make our own normal. When it comes to food I'll never be that naturally thin person that doesn't have to think about food. It's been over 2 yrs on this journey for me and I've definitely come a far way but I still have a ways to go and I still have to be able to maintain when I get there. So it is back to the basics for me. Thanks for reminding me how easy it can be.

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  9. Oh I meant to mention about the interview, I loved the intro and thought you did a terrific job. I thought Jack did too. It all seemed really natural to me. It's tough dealing with comments sometimes when you feel like you need to defend yourself. But just remember this whole blog thing is for YOU.

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  10. Good for you guys on doing the weights. You're both putting it all out there in order to succeed!

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  11. hey there...
    i happened upon your blog through tina's and i have to say, one major congrats to you man.

    as far as bingeing goes, i find that as long as i keep conscious, a binge can be really helpful. now i'm not talking like full blown eat everything in the fridge and then contemplate the taste of stainless steel binge, but when i'm in touch with my body, i can realize i'm bingeing even a few bites into it. a binge usually signals something is going on where i feel out of control. when i realize i'm bingeing, i sit myself down and ask myself a few questions. am i hungry? what feeling is fueling this binge? anger, fear, anxiety, sorrow, happiness? did something out of the ordinary happen today? is something out the ordinary happening now? by talking to myself, and sometimes even asking the food i'm eating what exactly i want it to be doing, i can uncover the thoughts, feelings and actions that led me to the specific binge moment. then i deal with that. i put the food down, go somewhere else and deal with what's happening.


    once again, major congratulations, and good luck!

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  12. you both look simply AMAZING!!! Keep up the good work!

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  13. I never get too hung up on any one comment (or email). All these online communications happen so fast, sometimes people just type out stuff without really thinking it through. I doubt the commenter was taking a shot at you, but again... so what? I go by the handle "Jack Sh*t" and you get called a "character." We're through the looking glass, Sean...

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  14. Oh baby....Wow look at you...I just have to keep pinching myself, that this is for real...The things that we have accomplished, the things we can now do that we have spent our whole lives not able to do, and the joys that come with that is something I cannot put into words no matter how hard I try, not possible to even begin to, and the things yet to come....

    Good game today on the racquet court baby....and who schooled who? WOW how easily we forget..HUH? I know we had to just end up playing hit the ball, cause you were getting embarressed being beat my a girl, and all.Its okay honey...Im a special girl...lol
    Love you always,
    Irene

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  15. I'm one of your followers who is lucky enough to know you. Not on a huge "personal" level like family and friends. We live in the same small town. I met you with the local hospital's weight-loss challenge. I listen to you every morning on the radio while I drive to work. We have emailed each other several times. We stop and "chat" when we run into each other in town. So I can tell your readers who have only seen your "blog" side, "This guy is as genuine as it gets!" Yes, he's a radio personality, so he HAS to be a bit of a "ham!" Hey, I'm married to a minister. Anyone who gets up and speaks in front of groups of people HAS to be a bit of a ham! We would be bored stiff if they weren't! But believe me, this guy is real! A big ole, caring, teddy-bear type. Just not so big any more. And if he's like my "big ole, caring, teddy-bear type" husband, he will cringe when he reads that. "No I'm not," my husband says. "I'm a grizzly! Or a big Black Bear, or Brown Bear, or Polar Bear, but NOT a teddy-bear!" Ok..I'm sure you have that side, when you need to defend your family! I've seen it in my husband. But believe me, Sean Anderson is as real as it gets! And I DO consider myself lucky to know you, Sean. I can't wait to meet your lovely wife Irene! Feel like I know her and the girls already! You are all 4 so inspiring. Keep on keepin' on!
    Blessings, Sara

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  16. Great blog! Just a note, Jillian Michaels was in fact, overweight. She lost over 50 lbs. So she does know where we are coming from :-) She in certainly walking the walk!

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  17. Thank you again Sean. Of course I don't mind...I am totally honored!!! I knew Jillian was overweight at one point but I had no idea that she was 50 lbs. overweight! I guess I should do my research before I blab on about someone! I meant every word of what I said and I feel lucky to have found your blog.

    I'm starting this whole thing over with a new outlook thanks to you. Have a wonderful weekend!

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  18. Great comments, although I am in the early stages I have addressed my binge eating or more to the point my binge eating from 1am to 3.30am when I don't sleep - it is no longer acceptable and look forward to the challenges that lie ahead. I plan to go back over your blog over time. Well done Martine

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  19. Great post! You and Irene are soooooo inspiring. I know all about those intruders that derail my journey.....I call them my "Trigger Trolls" - I've started a list of them on my blog to help me identify and recognize them.
    When I heard the interview with Jack Sh*t (picked up from your blog) I KNEW you had to be in radio - or should be. What a voice. Thought you sounded great and not a "character"
    How do I tune in?

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  20. You guys are soooo cute and inspiring! I love this post.

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  21. I am still reading back posts and finding such GOLD there! I love that you are bringing quotes from them forward, especially so those that haven't found them yet can be inspired, too. Thank you for sharing, you really are helping so many people.

    When you write your book, be sure to include a LOT of these great photos of you and your family that you share here.
    Thank you,
    Loretta

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  22. Hi Sean! Just wanted to say that I read this post before I went to the shop this evening. I was in bingey mode and worried that I would buy a load of stuff and put myself back into hell again. I haven't binged for almost 2 weeks now. But after reading your post I managed to stay strong and only bought the healthy non-bingeing food.

    Thanks for this.
    Bearfriend xx

    PS You and Irene are so lucky to be doing this thing together. Wonderful pics!

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  23. When I've got that binge urge lately... I try to remind myself that the what ever it is that I'm trying to fill up isn't hunger, and food will only sedate it for a bit. Also that afterwards it's likely to add to it.

    If your going to binge, do it on some Foolsfitness, it's low cal- Alan

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  24. I am SO glad I found this blog! I need to get reading. I have so much to lose and am looking for inspiration and motivation! Thank you for sharing your journey.

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  25. Three things:

    1. You sound like a radio guy.

    2. Jack sounds Southern

    3. BOTH OF YOU sound real.

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  26. I so enjoy both yours and Irene's blogs!! You both are such inspirations, I have so enjoyed going back and reading from day 1. Your journey is amazing, and wished I had been there with you from the first...wow! I am so glad I found you (via Jack's blog), and have been so inspired by your weight loss attitude, well, your basic attitude about everything! Both you and Irene have such a CAN DO attitude that just humbles me. When I feel as though the "binge" mentality is going to win, I think of your journey and it totally turns my thinking around. Thank you for sharing your journey!

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  27. I am so glad to find a blog by another person who knows the pains of a binge eating disorder. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I hope I can completely conquer it someday!

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