Friday, September 11, 2009

Day 361 Clothing Insecurities and The Lost "Before" Pictures (posting soon)

Day 361

Clothing Insecurities and The Lost “Before” Pictures (posting soon)

I'm feeling pretty dog-gone fantastic right now. I just woke from one of my signature power naps. Yes, I allowed my schedule to go awry again, but I had good reason. Play rehearsal was called off tonight and I've requested and have been granted a vacation day from radio tomorrow! My mission? Get over this sickness that has snuggled up into my lungs and memorize every single line for the play. I may even go to the doctor, check that---I will go to the doctor tomorrow for a high powered something to kick this crud out of me! I don't have time to be sick, you know what I mean? I wonder if I can change the vacation day to a sick day...hmmm, maybe. Just maybe.

I just received an e-mail from the stage manager of “Call Me Henry.” She requested clothing sizes. Oh man, let the anxiety begin! It felt good to reply: 40 waist 32 inseam. I also reminded her that I'll more than likely be a 38/32 by the time this production opens, but I can wear a belt. The shirt size, I don't know really...3x, 2x...or 18, maybe 19? I don't know. I've been dealing with X's my entire life. I didn't even know about shirt sizes in number terms until recently. I've always been a 5X or 6X, even a 7X in some cases. I honestly need custom tailored shirts. Because my neck size will result in a shirt that doesn't fit my body right. I need to take a deep breath and trust that it will all be fine. I do hope they allow me to be a little picky about wardrobe without them getting too frustrated with me. It's the thing that worries me the most about this play. It's not the lines or the emotion I must convey, or the long hours in rehearsal, it's what I'm wearing that is giving me the stress. I want to look good up there, and regardless of my weight loss success, I'm still extremely insecure about what I wear and how I wear it. It'll take time and weight training to budge that mental hangup. In the meantime I know that I'll have to actually “tuck” for some of these scenes,'s even in the script at one point. Me tucking? In front of an audience?? I've never been a tucker, you know that! Oh my, I'm going to have to close my eyes and shut off my brain to get through this. I know this will probably be one of those things where I discover it wasn't near as horrific as I imagined it would be. We'll see how it goes. I certainly don't want to be difficult, but I also want to be comfortable on stage.

Irene came home early tonight and she is finally off for the weekend! You think my schedule is crazy, listen to this: She went in at 5:30pm yesterday afternoon, wasn't able to leave work until 9:15am this morning, then was expected to be back at work for a managers meeting at noon, then back at work for a short shift at 5:30pm. She was allowed to skip the noon meeting, so she did get nearly six hours of sleep, thank goodness, but she is still exhausted. And I'm keeping her up tonight to work with me on lines! Oh dear! I look forward to her writing something on her blog, I know she will tomorrow. Maybe Amber will too, that would be good. Nudge, nudge, ;)

I want to recognize Zaababy, “The Incredible Shrinking Woman” again. If you haven't read her blog, you should give it a read. I'm so impressed with her and the wonderful approach she embraces. She completely “gets it.” It's easy to say “I get it.” Zaa proves she does everyday. She understands that a simple approach with a consistent effort gets major results every time. The mental breakthroughs and transformation she has experienced has been beautifully documented within her pages. She is approaching some major milestones, so if you haven't already, this would be a wonderful time to start following her. Her inspiration and consistent effort is a wonderful thing to witness. Find Zaababy today at

Just when I thought I knew of every single “before” picture out there, I discovered some more today on my Aunt Kelli's facebook page. The Lost "Before" Pictures will be ready soon! I'll copy and post them over the weekend along with some current pictures.

I've requested Irene's company tomorrow evening for a date. I'm taking my beautiful wife to the Ponca Playhouse for opening night of “Tuesdays With Morrie.” Afterward we plan on attending a party to celebrate the opening. It'll be a grand affair I'm sure! It'll also be an opportunity for me to introduce Irene to Lauren, who plays the part of "Doris," my wife in the play “Call Me Henry.” It'll be fun!

Irene is preparing a late dinner, she might just pick something up, I've already had dinner. I enjoyed two pita cheese pizzas. 280 calories TOTAL. Wow, I think a soft serve low fat vanilla ice cream cone from McDonald's is in order! I still have nearly 300 calories remaining tonight, more than enough to “indulge.”

Before we start working on lines, we're going to workout---then it's into the script we go!
I was able to “get out” and read a few blogs today. I should have some more time as this three day weekend progresses. I have some serious catching up to do. I sincerely appreciate your patience and your continued support. Day 361 is in the books. Did I mention that despite this sickness crud, I still feel incredible? This transformation of mind and body is beyond wonderful. Very nice. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,


  1. Sounds like a good plan:)
    Have a great weekend.
    Zaababy is Fabulous, I love her.
    Enjoy "Tuesdays With Morrie" I love that play.
    It will be good for yout two wives to meet:0)



  2. Sean
    I'm thanking the Lord that I found your blog. What an inspiration you are. I'm excited to start my journey. I've now posted twice and I already feel that this is a great way to present and document this journey. I can't wait to be able to say your same words,(that the) "transformation of mind and body is beyond wonderful.
    Thank you so much

  3. Looking forward to the lost before pics! Hope you're feeling better soon.

  4. Have a great weekend! Tuesdays with Morrie is a wonderful play :) Probably not as good as yours will be though!

  5. I am SO NOT a tucker either - no matter what I weigh so I understand your pain there. You can do it though. That is so minor compared to everything you've already accomplished!

  6. I definitely think that vacation day should be classified as a sick day! Save those precious vacation days.

    The clothes? Huge motivator for me as well. I know you are so glad to be in a size that a lot of men long to be!! Congratulations on all fronts.

  7. I haven't been a tucker in several years either Sean. I googled 'tucking' and there are many interesting images and web pages that talk about tucking. And surprise surprise 'tucking' can mean many different things! Maybe you shouldn't google it.
    Wait! I have inspiration for my post today! I will discuss tucking and all its ramifications! Is tucking wise? Who should tuck? When should we NOT tuck? Do people who tuck think they're better than those who canNOT tuck? Do tuckers have secret beach party bbq's that nontuckers are not invited to?!?
    Thanks for the shoutout Sean.

  8. I have to share with you one of my own "Stage" moments....I used to be a part of the Cushing Community Theater over in Cushing, OK! I had just lost a LOT of weight, and was so excited to try out for a play and get a part in it! It was something I had wanted to do for EVER, and to finally realize that dream was amazing! I loved it! The first part I had I played a character much older than myself, and I (irony of irony) had to don a "fat suit" to make me look more matronly! I couldn't believe it!! Here I had gone to all the trouble to lose weight, and look good, and here my first public performance I had to look "frumpy!" ARGGHHH!! Talk about being self conscious! I was so uncomfortable...but you know what...when opening night happened, and those lights came on, and I walked on stage...I wasn't "me" anymore...I was that character. The "suit" helped. I realized that it wasn't "me" up was my if she looked frumpy, or the clothing wasn't right, it didn't was HER clothing, HER body and it made all my insecurities melt away. So just remember...even if the wardrobe is not anything YOU would ever wear, it IS what your character would wear, and you can use that to help you find that place where Sean stops, and your character starts!!! Embrace the wardrobe!!! It does take a mental shaking to get there, but once you hear the laughter, hear the applause...your clothing will be the last of your concerns! Break a leg, and I am sure that you will be FANTASTIC!!

  9. Hope you get over the sickness soon :)
    I admit, i never tuck either!
    Keep up the great attitude. Love your blog as always.

  10. I am glad you are finally getting some much needed rest! A cold is beginning to run rampant through our house now, so I know I am the next victim - oh joy!

    I chuckled over the clothes...I am having issues right now myself, but I am trying so desperately just to be a baggy mess for a little longer, since I plan on continuing down the scale!

    Continued success, my friend ; )

  11. BABY,
    The exercise was AMAZING!!! Its been awhile since I sweat like that!!! WOW you were incredible too and pushed me to take it further and further!!!

    Loved working on your lines with you!!! This is a way for me to feel involved with what you ae doing and dwe had such a great time last night doing it!!! I loved it!!! We will have tomorrow to really pound it out!! It will be sooo much fun baby....Love having the weekends with you!!
    cu soon
    P.S. I do plan on writing today!!
    Love you buddy,
    Always and forever
    Your buddy

  12. Hey, don't sweat the tucking. You are now an "ac-tor' " so you will just be "acting" like a character who tucks in his shirt! Hope you get to feeling better this weekend, and are having a blast in the play! Sara

  13. Hope the dr gives you something so you feel better.
    Enjoy your date with your beautiful wife.

    Enjoy your weekend

  14. I'm really interested in these cheese pitas for only 280 calories. What a good idea.You should do a post sometime of some or your favorite low-cal, easy-to-make meals.

    I'll be checking out that blogger you mentioned.

    OH. And get better.

  15. Glad to hear things are clicking right along Sean....looking forward to the day when I get down pat all the mental changes that you've already experienced...I'll get there...hopefully sooner than later. :)


I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to leave a comment. Thank you for your support!

Copyright © 2008-2018 Sean A. Anderson

The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser. All rights reserved.