Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Day 373 Never Forget and The Missed Workouts

Day 373

Never Forget and The Missed Workouts

I ran into an acquaintance at Wal-Mart this afternoon who hadn't seen me in a while. I guess it's been a few months. This transformation has really taken dramatic strides in the last ninety days, so her reaction was “look at you—still doing great I see!” We exchanged pleasantries and as I walked away she said “Have you forgotten what you use to feel like?” I turned and smiled, then replied, “Oh no, I'll never forget.” I never will forget what it felt like to be and live at over 500 pounds. I was there too long, I became a pro at navigating the restrictions. I had just accepted the role. With it came a long list of things I couldn't do, places I wouldn't fit, feelings of self-hatred, and scary feelings of uncertainty concerning my own mortality. I was miserable all the time, even though I could put on a smile and pretend I was comfortable in most any situation. I wasn't happy with myself at all, ever. I was just existing, getting by, surviving. I would go long stretches where losing weight was the absolute furthest thing from my mind. However, my misery was always on my mind and still I couldn't have cared less about the behaviors that kept me in that state, a tragic combination indeed. So, no...I'll never forget. Just can't.

Always remembering where I've been makes me extremely understanding and compassionate to those who are still imprisoning themselves. And yes, we do it to ourselves. It doesn't matter our circumstances, our behaviors, our emotions...it's our own doing. And we're the only ones that can change it.

I've once again missed my workout today. That makes about seven, maybe eight in the last couple of weeks. It's not good at all. I feel like I'm losing still, and that's great, but I know how important a consistent workout effort is when it comes to my ultimate goal. I'm really embarrassed by this major discrepancy in my performance lately. I'm not proud of this at all. But, (look out, here comes a good excuse, right?) BUT---I've made my schedule too tight, and when it's this crunched, things can't help but suffer. My workouts have been the hardest hit.
So as we approach the 280's, I must make a promise to myself right now to always get in some kind of exercise. Nothing crazy, just some kind of movement. Just like I tell people who are starting out, move! Anything helps the process, and it feels really good!

Courtney prepared dinner tonight. She made us a lean hamburger patty with baked crinkle cut fries. The beef was that 93/7 blend I've talked about before—only 160 calories per serving. The entire plate came in at under 400 calories.

The goatee is gone. I have to shave it for the play and now was the time. As much as I complained about it at first, I kind of miss the thing. It'll be back in early November, no problem. I'll have to post a “below 300 without a goatee” picture soon. Maybe along with the “Lost” before picture I re-discovered today. This “before” picture is a big full-body shot standing next to a 210 pound 5'10” ---and i still make him look tiny. I'll get it posted soon.

The Diane—Fit To The Finish interview is still in need of editing, but will be posted in the next couple of days.

I'm headed to bed. Thank you for reading! And welcome to all of the new readers, including my cousin Debbie. She's been a Myspace reader from Day 1. Today was her first visit to this blog! Welcome Debbie! Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean

8 comments:

  1. If anyone thinks Acting is not a WORKOUT come try it! Just think about all the stairs and the movements....On the floor...Up and dance...up the stairs...out the door...cross down left...Up right...On your knees....to the Kitchen...center stage..up the stairs...My friend you are getting your workouts in FYI. I did not know I was so easy on you....LOL!

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  2. I love that you said you would never forget what it felt like to be 500 pounds. You won't, and that's what's going to keep you healthy!

    You are working out just with all the work you do! Take care!

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  3. Not forgetting is what will sustain you through the rest of your journey and through maintenance. I honestly think that's why some of us yo-yo up and down - we choose to forget.

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  4. Wow Sean. When you said "pro at navigating restrictions..." That is the story of my life? Exactly how far is the entrance, is there something to lean on? Quietly as the hostess for a table and not a booth but make sure no one hears you... Geez.

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  5. I think with a new schedule, it is going to be ok to miss a few workouts sometimes. AS LONG AS...

    -- you don't make it a habit that continues beyond the end of the play.
    -- you try to schedule in your absenses. Like making the conscious decision to workout every other day instead of daily.
    -- you do something little for like 5 minutes, jumping rope or something and call it good for the "absent" days. That way you aren't beating yourself up over missing a day.
    and finally...
    --keep in mind that you are in this for the long term results. If you have to miss, it's ok, think of where you will be next year and try to imagine that a couple of missed workouts a week for a few weeks will not affect where you will be then. I don't think you will be saying to yourself next September, "I really wish I wouldn't have missed those 13 or 14 workouts last year... I would be sooo much farther along if I hadn't."

    Stay focused and just keep doing what you are doing... You are doing a great job!

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  6. Just thinking about the past keeps me motivated. You've done a great job! Keep it up.

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  7. Hang in there, and I wonder if you could just do mini-workouts when you are experiencing one of your crunch schedules? A brisk 10 minute walk? I have to concur with Mr. Williams, you are probably getting activity in that you are not taking credit for during your day. Any movement outside the norm should be considered activity! Best,

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  8. Hi Sean. A few minutes is all it takes to do some press ups, squats, lift something heavy up and down a few times very slowly. A burst of running anytime during the day just up and down some stairs or round the block. Literally a few minutes can make all the difference until you have time for your next workout.

    Best wishes,
    Bearfriend xx

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