A Vital Element To Long Term Success
I think I first wrote about my father on Day 106. I did it because I realized that I had a lot of emotional baggage that I needed to get rid of completely. If I was going to fly, I thought, I needed to ease the weight on my mind. So I put it all out there. And again on Day 280, Fathers Day...It was all about him. You can find that fathers day post in the archives or just click this link: http://losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com/2009/06/day-280-fathers-day-reflection-and-nice.html
Writing about my relationship with him has given me a clear understanding of the emotions I carried for so long. Why do I love him so much? After all, I've only been around him physically for two weeks out of my entire life. But somehow, I now feel like I know him. I couldn't reach this clarity before this journey, I was too busy resenting him and blaming him for everything I could. Through our communications over the last ten months, I've discovered the liberating sensation that real forgiveness provides everyone involved. I never knew the deep meaning of forgiveness until we wiped the slate clean and decided to start our relationship over.
My dad's comment on yesterday's blog was such a wonderful gift: “Son I have mixed tears when I think of you. They are tears of sorrow for not being there when you were growing up. To give you a shoulder to lean on when you needed one. To be your sounding board when the teasing got to much. To go with you at your school functions, and doing so with my head held high, because I was with my son. I know you went through a lot, and I cry inside because I was not there to be your rock. Now I allso have tears of joy and pride for what you have done, how you have turned self hate to self love. Even more then the pride I have in you, my pride for your mother is so great for what she has done to make you the man you are today. My admiration for Irene goes beyond words, for standing by your side and with you through it all. There can never be words that can fully say what I want to say. So the words I LOVE YOU and I AM PROUD OF YOU, will have to do. Take good care of your famley, and allways tell them how much they mean to you, because they tell you every day by their support of you. your dad” I'm going to see him someday again soon, I will. This comment today completely hit me in my emotional gut.
Sweet success yet another day. Is this really me? Is this the same guy that could never get it right before? Thamk you for following along. Goodnight and...