Maintaining The Original Purpose and Mirror Therapy
I've been getting congratulations lately from many friends concerning the fact that I officially crossed the 200 followers mark. (Warning: Ego talking next!) Of course I know that many more people read this blog than 200. Why, just around Oklahoma locally, I'm sure that hundreds, no thousands---make this blog a part of their daily routine. A dose of weight loss inspiration to keep them going, or perhaps get them back on track. OK, maybe not “thousands,” But hundreds? OK, maybe tens of readers read without ever clicking the follow button. But officially, it's over 200, we know that for sure. Very nice, but...
It's very important to always maintain a level head about that number. The writing of the blog is the most important thing. The readership of the blog is great, but it's not the most important thing. I encourage people to write everyday about their weight loss journey. If you can really open up and be completely honest with yourself about this road you're on, about where you've been, and where you want to go, then it can really be therapeutic. This self-honesty should never be altered or compromised for the sake of satisfying readers. This blog is for me. That's how it started and that's how it is to this day. The fact that many say that they find inspiration within these writings is a wonderful bonus reward. It really fills me with joy.
You might be surprised to know that up until somewhere around day 200, This blog had less than 10 “official” followers. I didn't have a follow button displayed prominently on the page at all. I posted day in and day out, often times going ten, twenty, even thirty days without a comment on the “global” version. I have to distinguish between the myspace version and the content-identical blogspot version, because my cousin Debbie has commented almost every single day of this journey. You don't see her comments very often because it's always on myspace. Proof of this can be found by going back in the archives and reading from Day 1. Notice how many posts have zero comments, there's a bunch. Some of the most critical days on this road, some of the biggest epiphanies in the last 371 Days have come and gone without a comment one. But those comment-less days still did exactly what was intended. They taught me something, sometimes ground-breaking---that's right, earth shattering things about myself. I'm overjoyed that my experiences might inspire someone else too. But you know what? If I lost every single reader tomorrow, I'd still write the same blog everyday. That's important.
I attended a dance workshop today. It was a workshop sponsored by ReAct, the same organization producing “Call Me Henry,” the play I'm doing right now. I walked into the class and discovered that the wall was just one big mirror. Great! It's like seeing yourself as someone across the room. I don't think I could've handled this at 505 pounds, but today I did. Despite my success, it was still hard. But the more I looked at that guy across the room today, the more I realized how happy I am with him. I do like what I see in that mirror. That guy is really getting there. That guy has completely changed his appearance, and it's wonderful. With a picture, you can just put it away, or scroll-click your way away from it, but in that dance workshop today---I couldn't escape myself. There I was. That's what I really look like now. The mirror doesn't lie, well...at least this one doesn't. That was really me over there dancing to Huey Lewis and The News music. Me? Dancing? The new experiences never stop it seems. “Mirror therapy,” that's what I call what I did today. And it was good. Real good. I needed to see myself like that. I needed to put to rest my impatient expectations and realize and enjoy the incredible progress I've achieved. That wonderful transformation was staring back at me for over two hours.
I packed a lunch to eat between the workshop and play rehearsal tonight. It was a 400 calorie pack of cantaloupe, a Nutri-Grain bar, and a ham and cheese wrap on a whole wheat tortilla. It was really good stuff. By the time play rehearsal was over I still had 680 calories remaining for the day. Lauren brought some of her birthday cake to play practice to share with everyone. And when she proclaimed that she didn't want to take the last piece of chocolate cake home, so somebody better eat it...I knew that it was time for me to step up! It was a really small piece. I had half of it. The half with icing, yes...chocolate icing. It was small enough that counting it as 100 calories is probably an over-estimate, but that's alright. It was very good. Happy birthday Lauren.
I better wrap this edition now. I've got to get my Monday started! Thanks for reading! Goodnight and...