Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Day 478 An Honor To Be Included and A Nice Dinner At Home

Day 478

An Honor To Be Included and A Nice Dinner At Home

I had to do something today I haven't done in a very long time. I woke up not feeling well at all. I was having some issues. I'll spare you the details, let's just call it an upset stomach. I'm still smoke free, isolated in my apartment without access. I decided that if I was going to take a sick day from work, I was staying inside all day. The only exception was to workout in the fitness room downstairs. Gayle Williams did my show this morning—thank you Gayle. Couldn't be helped today.

I was honored today when the one and only Jack Sh*t featured my best advice for real weight loss on his must read blog. It was an honor enough for me that he requested my advice for the post, but then when I read the advice from others featured, I realized: Hey—Jack has put me in some very elite company here! From Mizfit to The Anti-Jared, Diane Fit To The Finish, and even David Kirchhoff--the CEO of Weight Watchers International! There were many others and every single person on the post offered wonderful advice for weight loss and fitness. You can read the post on Jack's blog by clicking this link:
http://jackfit.blogspot.com/2010/01/advice-from-people-smarter-than-me.html

My workout this afternoon was OK, but it wasn't the greatest. I seriously need a trainer, I swear. I need someone to yell at me and push me, because...yeah, I'm way too easy on me. I have been ever since I started, and yes---I've lost weight successfully, but I know it's going to take some serious workouts to get to the next level. I'm tired of talking about it. I did do a treadmill 5K walk/jog. Funny that a 5K for me is now considered an “Ok” workout. I remember when a 5K was impossible to even fathom. I didn't even look at the elliptical. OK, I looked at it---but I didn't do it. And I hate to use the “I'm on edge” excuse because I no longer smoke, but I'm on edge---I'm dealing with strong cravings constantly. I want this, I want this bad. I want to reach my potential in the exercise and fitness area and I will do it as a non-smoker. This is the most important thing.

I wasn't feeling especially hot about my workout and then I did something that I hardly ever do that made me feel less thrilled about my workout. I watched the Biggest Loser. I watched maybe ten minutes of last season. Not because I don't like it, I just don't watch TV that much anymore. Too much other stuff going on! Tonight I watched over an hour. That show stirs emotions in me, maybe that's really why I don't watch. I can relate to their emotions and their stories, and it just wells me up. The workouts on that show are insane! But in a good way. I want someone to work me until I throw up! I want someone to yell at me and bring out the fight in me. I need that, I think I do. I know I do. I've proven that a consistent effort and do what you can approach works, but I'm always the first to admit, I could and should do more.

I prepared a wonderful dinner tonight. Courtney and I enjoyed a mozzarella baked chicken marinara over a small bed of spaghetti with a side of green beans. It was delicious. I measured out the sauce and the noodles, had the cheese cut to an ounce. The entire plate came in at 550 calories, slightly over where I like my meals, but I can live with that. It was good and since I measured everything perfectly, no leftovers! It certainly didn't look like enough pasta into the pot, but it was. We always prepared way too much pasta in the past because of that reason...it doesn't look like enough. Trust me, it is enough!

I'm posting the picture of me with my last cigarette over the weekend. I hate this picture. I didn't realize how much I've avoided smoking in pictures. I tried to find one of me smoking in the files and folders of not only my computer, but my daughters old hard drive, and I looked through the seemingly endless picture albums on my aunt Kelli's online archives. None. I've been ashamed of that habit my entire life! So I snapped this nasty photo. I couldn't look at the camera, I just shut my eyes. One of my motivating thoughts that keep me straight on this quit mission: I want to be free! I'm tired of being a slave to this habit. It's over and not another disgusting cigarette will ever hang from my lip again. I don't have to hide my habit from the camera anymore. I don't have to slip out the back door anymore. I don't have to embarrassingly explain to people I meet that I decided to lose weight first and then tackle the cigarettes. I can't tell you how many times I've run into someone who knows of my weight loss success and then they were shocked when they discovered my dirty little not so secret. It was a complete lifestyle contradiction. I'm no longer living that contradictory lifestyle. I'm still dealing with the strong cravings, but I'm winning. How can I lose with all of the wonderful support I've been receiving? Thank you my friend.

Tomorrow is weigh day. I'm looking forward to hopping on the scale and seeing what the last two weeks will give me. I'm pulling for the 260's---I just need a three pound loss to get that done. I'm headed for bed and work in the morning. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean

Photobucket
Trying to render myself unconscious. I never allowed pictures of me with a cigarette. Never! This was a hard one to snap. But it's a part of the record that is this wonderful transformation. Ridding myself of this nasty habit is part of my journey. It's over now. Snap away!

20 comments:

  1. uck...you look like you hated that picture.
    funny.
    Your hiding behind the camera while smoking is very similar to how i used to hide behind my kids whenver someone came within ten feet ofme.
    honestly.
    Keep up the good work.
    Oh, and if you need a little motivation for a workout try:
    Unless you FAINT, PUKE OR DIE....KEEP MOVING.
    I love jillian.
    I have adopted her voice inside my head when I workout.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Good for you for posting the pic, Sean. Now if you have a craving and feel the desire to cave, you can just pull up your blog and take a peek at that. I'm guessing your aversion to this photo will squash any craving. Keep it up!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sometimes I day dream that Jillian is in the gym with me, haha. I've even considered hiring a personal trainer and saying, "I want you to make me cry, okay?"

    I think you are at a very critical point in your weight loss journey. You are at a point where you have had lots of success, where you are endeavoring to live your life as a complete healthy person. These are the times I always get into funks, and think I'm not doing enough, so eventually I get discouraged and go off the course.

    Have you EVER gone off course?

    Still, my advice is to keep doing what you have been. I've been reading a lot of things about consistency, and that seems to be key. Pushing it is awesome too, but remember to celebrate your consistency as well.

    Have a great day!
    Olivia

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh what strength and determination! You should really give yourself a ton of credit, because nicotine is up there with heroin in terms of addictive qualities. In fact, I think it has more of a pull from what I've read. So what you are doing right now is indeed tough. You rock!

    ReplyDelete
  5. You are doing so well hang in there and I agree with you on the excercise front I have been cruising a bit myself I need to see how hard I can go. You have convinced me I need to give up my sugar addiction If I ever blow out it is always with something high in Sugar and Fat It is time I declared sugar completely off limits. Remember you are putting your body and your mind through a big shakeup if you need to sleep sleep and make sure you keep up the water to flush the toxins out and take care of your gums and teeth.

    ReplyDelete
  6. You are well on your way changing your life again! Can't wait to see what you weigh in is! Remember it's one day at a time and you are so going to kick ass!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Your tenacity will get your throught this!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I knew you'd make it..this is Day 3 right?? Easy Breezy!! lol Hey, I know it's not easy, but I do believe that your resolve is 10x stronger than the addiction. I truly believe that, and you're proving it with each day that passes. Very proud of you for getting it done, and for sharing this hardship with us.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Proud of you for posting that pic. You never have to worry about hiding your cigarettes in a picture again because you won't have any! Personally, I love the Biggest Loser and yes, it stirs up all sorts of emotions in me too. But, aren't the emotions part of the whole picture?

    ReplyDelete
  10. You're doing great.
    You're going to feel better soon.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sean, you are doing so great with EVERYTHING! :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Don't feel so honored... remember, you paid me $300 to be included in that post (first check bounced, btw... pls re-send asap).

    Great pic documenting last ciggy. Good luck on putting another bad habit to rest.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Every day you will feel stronger and stronger. Your disgust over the picture says a lot. I know you are going to beat this and be a success story not only on the weight loss pages, but the being a non-smoker pages too! Hope your belly feels better quickly! Good for you for going to the workout room despite the yuck.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Sorry you aren't feeling well! My husband was sick for a few days after about the 3rd day of quitting smoking and it sounds exactly like what you are experiencing. Think of all that bad stuff coming out of your body even though it's usually in an unpleasant way. You inspire me every day Sean!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Sean.. just found your blog. started the journey to lose 212 lbs on Jan 1. your blog is an inspiration.

    ETL
    http://eattolive2010.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  16. Sean.. I quit two years ago. I used Commit losenge. Followed the program and quit. I had motivation too... my 13 year old son said he wanted me to be alive when he graduted from college. how could I keep smoking after hearing that? Save yourself from 5,000 cigs a year dude. Stay on the course.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Proud of you! Really! Its a tough thing to do, but so worth it!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hey, Sean! I just discovered you via your comments on Rettakat's blog. Your comments to her were so honestly, wonderfully supportive that I had to check out your blog. So glad I did! Congratulations on your weight loss success--and on the success of your smoking cessation, too. Hard stuff! Deb

    ReplyDelete
  19. Sorry to hear your were ill. Sometime withdrawal can really sock it to you.

    Keep up the great attitude!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hope you feel better soon! Good for you kicking the habit. You're superman, you can do anything :)

    ReplyDelete

I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to leave a comment. Thank you for your support!






Copyright © 2008-2017 Sean A. Anderson

The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser. All rights reserved.