No Desire To Let Go and The Undefined Finish Line
I’m excited to be where I am physically. I look in the mirror and sometimes it’s like looking at a stranger. I wonder if my brain will ever catch up with my body and accept that I’m smaller now? That’s a really good question.
Today was filled with writing, planning, cleaning, and preparing. I stayed busy, because when I don’t, that’s when it can get tough. I have many different personal issues crowding in on me these days and it’s sometimes difficult to shield my mission from the emotions that always derailed me before. But I’m doing it. I’ve said from the very beginning, “no emotion, no circumstance, person, place, or thing will steal this away from me.” They can’t. I refuse to let go. It was so easy to let go in the past because I really had a desire to do it anyway, then the first excuse that came along…I’d jump on it. That’s the big difference these days. I don’t have the desire to let go, in fact, it’s exactly the opposite. Now that I’ve experienced significant weight loss, I wouldn’t trade it for all the ice cream in the world.
I enjoyed a movie with Amber this afternoon, with the understanding that we would go workout together afterward, and then we fell asleep. By the time we woke up, it was time for Amber to travel over to her mom’s house for their evening plans. I was left to workout solo again tonight. This time I stayed in the apartment. I’ve decided that there is no reason that I can’t do some of these movements inside and before work of a morning. I love the way I feel after doing them---and it always makes me have a better day, so enough said. Let’s do it!
I’m making this a short post today. The one thing I’m taking from today? I’m staying positive, I’m staying on track, and I will get where I’m headed. These challenges we face, they’re not different than any number of people face everyday. We have many issues in common with many people. The difference is in how each person handles the circumstances and emotions.
I’m in the home stretch my friend. As I approach the “finish line,” that imaginary line isn’t well defined. Is it 230? Or is that too small considering my body fat percentage of 16.5%? So do I stop measuring my success by pounds lost? I have fat to lose, no question. But if weight training adds muscle and that adds good pounds---then at a point I may have to find another way of measuring my success. I’ve pretty much decided that I will not worry about all of those details. I’ll do as Melissa says---weight train and 1800 calories with cardio mixed in too. I will not let the scale make or break how I feel about my success. That’s ridiculous, but it’s all I’ve known so far.
Thank you for reading. Goodnight and…