Sunday, February 22, 2015

February 22nd, 2015 I'm Okay

February 22nd, 2015 I'm Okay

I needed today. It's been all about rest. I caught up on some reading and although I would have preferred to not go anywhere, I did run to the store. Had it not been for the short store run, I would have made it through this day without uttering a single word, except for my phone call with mom.

I slept in well this morning, then took a mid-afternoon nap, too. I thought about getting into the Y for an elliptical workout, then decided to sleep a little more. I can afford a day off. That's what today felt like.

My calorie budget is solid. My water consumption today was low. Below my goal, actually. With the extra sleeping, I'm going to allow myself a pass on it today. Although I might very well get another two cups in before bed.

I took some time to assess where I am, today. Physically, I feel fantastic. Mentally, I feel strong. Emotionally, not as strong, but better. This personal inventory is an important analysis for me along this road. How I feel plays an important role in what I do. And what I do has an effect on how I feel. I suppose having plenty of alone time today has brought me to an introspective place.

Looking through old photos and seeing the smiling faces of once vibrant relationships that are no longer, can be a tough thing to do. I might have done that today, a little. Okay--I did do that, some. 

It's complicated, really. But honestly, it's for the better. I have so much to focus on, personally and professionally--things that need my attention. And someday, the time in my life will be right. It's not right now and I know it. When I spend too much time alone, I start thinking like this. Hold on, I'll snap out if it...

There, I'm better now. This is a diary, you know--occasionally you're going to read some deeply personal thoughts. The truth is, the only love I need to focus on at this point is the love I have for myself in taking extraordinary care and also, focusing on the things I dream of accomplishing along the way. Shifting my focus onto anything else, is a convenient distraction from where I need to be focused. I certainly have a pattern in this department. If you've read every entry, and some have told me they have--then you've probably recognized the pattern.

Sometimes, giving ourselves the love and attention we need and deserve, is just foreign enough, that spending the emotional energy elsewhere seems like a very attractive alternative. Raising the awareness in all of this and putting it in perspective, is imperative to my success. Reigning in the detours of my emotional energy is an important practice. And realizing, it's going to be okay regardless, is critical.

I'm going to be okay. I am okay.

My Tweets Today:
















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

14 comments:

  1. Sean, do you just slice a raw sweet potato and cook in the pan? Or are you baking them first in the oven or microwave? Thanks.

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    1. Michael, I do it just like that--I take a raw sweet potato and my sharpest knife (sweet potatoes are dense--tough to cut)--and I slice it how I want--sometimes medallions, sometimes fries... Usually I bake them. The ones pictured on this entry, I did in the pan on top of the stove with a light coating of olive oil spray. Same result, actually. I couldn't tell any difference from the ones I do in the oven. I turn them half way through cooking regardless, either way. My theory was, they might cook a little faster up top because I could use a lid to trap the heat. Turned out to be about the same amount of time. I typically season with a little salt and pepper. I sometimes add a little garlic powder/salt...season how you like 'em. They're good!

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  2. Regarding your shopping trolley tweet, my dad has always maintained that "a few" means 3 or 4, "several" means 7. He just made that up, it doesn't come from any official definition, as far as I know. So I don't know where that leaves you, with what looks like 6 things.

    With love, I think that will happen when you are ready. You seem to be getting really comfortable with yourself, which is a great place to start from.

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    1. Maybe a "bunch?" LOL I've always thought of a "few" as three...7 representing "several" sounds about right. On second thought, a "bunch" sounds like more than 7.
      I agree, Natalie--about the love and lonely thing... I'm doing my best to convince myself that I need the embracing, not someone else--at least, at this point in my life. Someday, like you said, when I'm ready for that--it'll happen. Probably when I least expect it--and when I'm not looking for it. :) Thank you, Natalie!

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  3. You are far more than ok, you are amaze balls xoxo

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    1. "Amaze balls!" I've never heard this expression in my entire life. But I like it! Thank you FFF!

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  4. ditto ^ #fatfreefloozy you have inspired soooooooo many people with your journey!

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  5. Happy to see you taking extraordinary care right now. Seems your body has been signaling and you listened.
    N~

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    1. Yeah, you're right. It has. Comes a time when I must listen to the cues. It's not the easiest thing to do, sometimes, but a very important effort. Thank you, Nancy.

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  6. You are wise to focus on yourself at this time, Sean. It will pay big dividends down the road, I promise. :)

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  7. Thanks for sharing such a personal side of your life. I can only repeat what others have said. When the time is right, it will happen. You won't expect it, you won't be looking for it, it will just be. I love when things like that happen.... natually and with ease. Makes it all the better.
    On another note : I liked the one pear in your cart of a "few" or "several!" One lonely pear.....I had a little chuckle on that. .. not sure why... it struck me funny! .. I know Sean, I'm odd! I embrace odd! :)
    Rosie

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    1. Thank you, Rosie. I know what the others have said and what you've written here is exactly, spot on, correct. There will be a time for that, someday, very naturally...
      The pear--interesting story---well, not really---but I actually planned to buy more than one pear. This solitary pear was literally the only one ripe enough to buy in the entire produce section. I felt 'em all. Which reminds me--always wash your produce! :)

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