I stayed busy today with work at the studio, a midday video shoot for this Sunday's Winning Loser Video Blog and some afternoon duties back at the radio station. I made time to prepare some good food and pause for some introspective reflection.
A friend, today, asked me "Do you fear the 500 pound Sean?"
Honestly, no, I don't. I did after my initial 275 pound weight loss. Back then, it wasn't an attitude of recovery, it was--okay, I did it, now I must figure out how to maintain this monumental change. The focus was too broad, too overwhelming, especially without fully committing to daily recovery practices.
Now, the focus is very much rooted in today and what I'm doing today in order to protect my continued recovery and resulting maintenance. The same accountability and support tools utilized during weight loss is still in effect each and every day. The whole thing about finding a groove you can live with the rest of your life? This is it for me. And if ever I start feeling like it's a drag, then I must immediately check myself and consider the alternative, then make adjustments if needed--but never let go. Because I know from experience, it only takes once to start the dominoes falling in their familiar pattern.
And if that happens, I'll certainly go back to 500 pounds and beyond. I don't fear it. I just understand it and fully appreciate that my continued maintenance and recovery depends on my acceptance and application of certain daily practices in self-care. I'm worth the effort. The trade is, I get to live life at a healthy weight with all of the physical freedom it allows. And even better, I get to live life with the mental and emotional freedom good recovery practices create and encourage.
Gone is the resentment over the need for this level of importance. I spent a lot of years wanting to and trying to treat food like "normal people." This negative perception suggested I wasn't normal, as if something was wrong with me. Nothing was wrong with me. I might have felt like there was because I was exhausting myself trying to be someone else's normal. When I started embracing my normal, that's really when things started changing for the better. This is me and I'm okay. And that feels great.
Do I fear 500 pound Sean? No. I love him because he is me, minus the proper care and attention my normal requires. I'm blessed, grateful and truly happy with where I am and what's ahead in this one day at time approach.
A Collection of Throwback Thursday photos:
Showing up at a family reunion at least fifteen years ago, maybe a few more. Around 500 pounds.
After opening for Sinbad in 1999...in a thunderstorm...outside...in front of 26,000 people--all of them disappointed to get ten minutes of my stand-up act and only six minutes of Sinbad before the violent thunderstorm forced the cancellation of the event. I was rockin' the mullet!
Speaking at the kickoff of a hospital sponsored weight loss event.
Over 500 pounds?? Wow, that's amazing!! The author of this story got the facts mixed up. Makes me smile.
Speaking at a Missouri YMCA
I've been blessed with some very special moments along the way and this one ranks right up near the top. My first grade teacher, Mrs. Shlimpert, the person who taught me my ABC's and how to read and write showed up at one of my book signings in January 2012.
My Tweets Today:
Good morning! Dark roast with two tablespoons half & half X 2 cups. 80 cal. pic.twitter.com/yi3x4lA60P— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 24, 2015
Breakfast in MFP... pic.twitter.com/EaWqUg67b5— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 24, 2015
3 egg whts & 1 whl egg, 1 slice each: mozzarella, muenster & provolone. 6.8oz pear, 169g apple, 3.3oz banana. 549 cal pic.twitter.com/tReeB76cmn— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 24, 2015
Long day. Coffee happens. Good coffee! Dark roast pour over with three tablespoons half & half. 60 cal. pic.twitter.com/Qj7Xdh0IEK— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 24, 2015
Chicken & Zucchini Crispy Tacos w/8oz chicken, zucchini, 3 tablespoons full fat sour cream & lettuce, salsa. 539 cal. pic.twitter.com/nYl34VxbRz— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 24, 2015
Evening coffee. Dark roast with 2 tablespoons half & half. One now, one after dinner. 80 cal. pic.twitter.com/jmuTjfW1iY— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 25, 2015
2- 90 cal flatbreads, 2 srv low cal alfredo, 4oz dark chicken, 32g olives, 2 slices each, mozz & muenster. 745 cal. pic.twitter.com/YmwRuDV1Bc— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 25, 2015
The pizza meets my requirements: Sugar free, I love it & it fits in my calorie budget. Although, A little pricey calorie wise for one meal.— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 25, 2015
Thank you for reading and your continued support,