Friday, March 24, 2017

March 24th, 2017 Not Lost On Me

March 24th, 2017 Not Lost On Me

The stress level has been set to the high position. We're changing software and hardware at the studios--and we're going on-line with it as early as Sunday evening. The goal is for the listener not to really notice the switch--it's behind the scenes stuff, but believe me, it takes a bunch of work on the entire team. I suppose I'm not feeling as confident as I need to feel with these challenges. We have great support direct from the manufacturer--they're actually in-studio with us, to help--and full support for the software on the phone, anytime--so, now it's up to me to alleviate my stress by asking lots and lots of questions and paying close attention to the answers. Learning new things can be stressful if I try to figure it out on my own. Good thing we don't have to figure it all out on our own. The parallels between this and other very important things in my life are not lost on me.

I'll be spending a number of hours working on the transition at the studio this weekend.

Today was another long and involved day. Aside from the morning show and normal production responsibilities, I worked a four hour/two station location broadcast until 5pm. I ran a few errands afterward--and by the time I made it home, a nap was in order. I was simply spent. My voice was wrecked from thirty-two approximately 3 minutes each on-air breaks.

Dinner was late--and it was okay by me. I typically don't go this long between meals, like I did between lunch and dinner because it isn't necessarily a good thing for my food plan. Part of the plan is keeping a somewhat consistent schedule and steady pacing. Today was an exception, not a rule.

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded today's water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support, including a very nice conversation tonight.

Oh--and about the stress-- For me, when it combines with tiredness, that's when I'm most vulnerable. In fact--it was just the other day when, after a prayer and some holy moly, I'm feeling super unstable feelings--I called Gerri in the middle of these tilted food thoughts--and after a few minutes of speaking, I was okay--and I could carry on, on-plan. But yes--of course those thoughts come. The difference is, I'm not relying solely on me to resist the temptation of those wonky thoughts that do their best to convince me a binge might alleviate the stress or somehow fix my tiredness. If I tried to rely 100% on me, I'd be 500 pounds or more right now because I don't have willpower. It isn't willpower that keeps me well, I assure you.

A binge never alleviated stress in my life. A binge might have distracted me from many stressful situations for as long as it took to plow through the food, but the stress was always waiting for after the last bite. And a binge never rejuvenated or restored me to a well-rested state.  

Today's Accountability Tweets:






























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

3 comments:

  1. I always appreciate your incite. And I wanted to add, I think it is two things. (Maybe more so for women than men). It is learning to live without turning to food in order to cope (feeling the feelings) AND living without the protective layer of fat (vulnerability). You are so fortunate you have such good support. It was smart of you to find it and get this system set up for yourself. And you convey the idea of it all very well in what you write.

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  3. I know it will be okay because you're not afraid to ask for help and if you are afraid you ask anyway. That's what I need to learn to do. For some reason when it comes to my food I never ask for help instead I listen to my crazy brain which derails me everytime. I need to do something different so that I can get different results. Thank you so much for sharing your experience strength and Hope!

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