I woke up not feeling well. For whatever reason, the cruddiness started last night and made it difficult to rest and of course, that magnified it this morning. I took a sick day from work, opting for more rest, confident it would help. It didn't really help too much. I've slept a lot today. I haven't felt like eating and consequently, I'm just over a thousand calories under budget. Actually, a little more, because I just couldn't eat all of the dinner. I'm headed back to bed now. I can miss work tomorrow only if I wake with extreme circumstances in the morning. If I can get more rest tonight, feel better and pull it together, I need to be at work tomorrow. I'm scheduled for my morning show followed by three back to back broadcasts in celebration of summer solstice. I need to be well, quickly!! I'm taking Nyquil caplets (the liquid contains refined sugar), and dropping. But before I forget...
Today: Ugh--this isn't the best "today" declaration. Let's see-- I did maintain the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, if by "maintain" we agree it means "didn't exceed." I was severely under budget today for reasons mentioned above. Happens. It's fine. I was a little short on my water goal-mainly because I've slept so much and haven't had my regular rhythm. I did stay connected with a couple different support friends.
Oh--and one more thing...
Thanks, Facebook Memories. The following paragraph was written three years ago. It was two months into my turnaround from relapse/regain. Coming out of that nightmare was a very difficult period. I didn't do it alone. I wasn't capable on my own. When the slide turns into a chaotic decline of what feels like hopelessness, shame, and desperation, putting on the brakes, slowing down--listening to others, and just being okay, is super tough stuff. One day at a time and what's the next right decision/choice? And should I call someone to confirm? Because, in the fog, my brain doesn't make or even understand the next best choice. I may not write or talk about it much, but three years later these decisions are still being made on a typical day.
Today will be good, I've decided. I will exercise, I've decided. I will maintain the integrity of my calorie budget, I've decided. I will reach out in support of others, I've decided. I will not forget the importance of my spirituality, I've decided. I will take today and make it my main focus, with a small amount of time reserved for positive visualizations of where I'm headed, I've decided. I will practice compassion for myself where my first instinct is to be harsh and unforgiving, I've decided. I will do the best I can, today, because I'm worth the effort, I've decided. At some point today, I will purposely and silently compliment myself for talents and strengths I largely take for granted, I've decided. I will pause to reflect with a sense of pure gratitude, often, I've decided. Come what may, today will be a great day, I've decided.
The structure of what I do each day might not be understood by everybody, and that's okay. I'm the only one that needs to understand and appreciate why I meticulously weigh and measure my food at home and work, log it all, snap the accountability pic and tweet it to the universe. After being fully consumed in the darkness for so long, these things help keep me in the light. And that keeps me well. And when I'm well, I get to enjoy life at a healthy body weight.
Today's Accountability Tweets:
Late #morningdeal 2 cups water, 20 push-ups & 20 squats ✅✅✅Done. Coffee, please. pic.twitter.com/FXzbKvI7JO— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 20, 2017
3 tbs half & half in this first cup of coffee. Another 3 tbs in the refill, soon. 120 cal. pic.twitter.com/hReHLdcd2q— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 20, 2017
Breakfast in MyFitnessPal... pic.twitter.com/p0aknMY3ff— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 20, 2017
3 egg whites, 1 slice swiss, and 46g avocado on toasted refined flour/refined sugar-free sprouted grain Ezekiel. 5oz pink lady apple. 425cal pic.twitter.com/8gkeg1guP3— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 20, 2017
Just water this afternoon. This whatever it is, has rendered me sick. Not feeling like eating. Will try dinner, later. Resting. pic.twitter.com/6F7HgSJtnd— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 20, 2017
Dinner in MyFitnessPal... pic.twitter.com/yiEmDmHsXB— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 21, 2017
8.4oz petite sirloin, 263g red potatoes prepared w/2 tbs half&half, 1 tbs sour cream, and 7g butter. 121g green beans. 690 cal. pic.twitter.com/33t509q192— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 21, 2017
Dinner was #lastfoodofday Didn't finish it all. Going back to bed soon- hoping a good night's rest will help!— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 21, 2017
Thank you for reading and your continued support,