February 8th, 2019 The Hands Of Circumstance
Yesterday was a 4 Star day: I maintained the integrity of my calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.
Yesterday was more challenging than most--and those days happen. The circumstances of the day made it exceptionally busy, starting with a coating of ice on everything. When the weather gets like that, it changes the approach at the studio. I was up on time yesterday morning but still had to hurry to get in early in order to get organized. A colleague was down too with the crud going around, so being short staffed added to the challenge of the day. But again, those days will happen occasionally. Being able to pivot, adjust, simplify, calm, and remain steady within my daily practice is something very important to me.
The perspective that helps keep me well is one of personal responsibility for the daily elements that my continued recovery requires. I am not allowed to put the responsibility for my recovery in the "hands" of circumstance or in the hands of other people. There have been many times in my life when I jumped at the chance to say things like, "I could have done well if that wouldn't have happened," or "If so and so would have done X, then I could have made it through in one piece," or "They chose the restaurant and you know that place, what could I do, right?" Or, "If "they" would have called me, texted me, checked up on me more, and been more supportive, then I would have done better," or "Things are just too stressful right now," or "I was overwhelmed with emotion." If left unchecked, my brain will take the quickest route it can to help me feel better about not taking responsibility for my own actions and behaviors.
Here's the thing:
There will be many happenings in my future that I know will test me and stretch me to my emotional limits and beyond my stress threshold. I may not know what they will be or when they will happen, but when those major life events/changes come, I hope and pray my spiritual condition is in a place to help me remain well, regardless. It's always up to me to prepare, practice, and do the best I can do for one more day, but I cannot ever say or believe that "I got this" because there are bulls I haven't ridden.
My morning routine is complete, my food is planned and packed, and I'm ready for today's practice to be another good one.
Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,
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