Friday, October 2, 2009

Day 382 Weigh Day Results, JoEllen Update, and Overcoming Deep Seeded Hang-Ups

Day 382

Weigh Day Results, JoEllen Update, and Overcoming Deep Seeded Hang-ups

Weigh Day brought another 3 pound loss my way. I’m in a groove I think. I’m very happy with 289! I’m in the 280’s!!! I know the last 60 or 70 pounds are going to go the slowest and I’m completely cool with that now. I believe the last 60 to 70 pounds will be the most dramatic too. Seriously! Losing 3 pounds now is like losing nearly 10 when I started. The lower the weight, the bigger the difference in appearance each loss gives. I’m not sure if I explained that right, but you know what I mean right? Losing say, 20 pounds, when you weigh 505 is hardly noticeable. Lose 20 pounds when you weigh 289, and blammo---big difference. I sincerely thank Jack Sh*t for reminding me of that word, “Blammo” during our interview. I use it all the time now. By the way, I didn't send out the traditional weigh day update. With our computer down, I didn't want to drive to the studio. Instead of an update, I thought I'd do it like I did in the beginning...on the blog!

Irene and her little sister Elaina Marie took their sister JoEllen to Oklahoma City for her emergency eye surgery today. The surgery was a success! Well, not a dramatic---sun shining, “I can see clearly now,” kind of success, but it takes time to heal. The improvement was immediate for JoEllen. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers concerning JoEllen, her cancer, and her critical vision situation. Without that surgery today, she would have been blind for the rest of her life. She has four young sons all under the age of seven to watch grow up, she needs her sight, we all do…what a blessing that JoEllen’s vision could be saved today.

In yesterday’s post I mentioned how JoEllen would occasionally bring up the topic of death and then we would quickly change the subject. Several of my blog friends made a wonderful point: It’s important to talk about death. I agree 100%. It’s all in the context really. It’s way to early for her to have just let me die kind of thoughts. She’s got some fighting to do! If it comes to the point where the dark gets even darker, and all of hope is gone, and the most humanly undesirable plan starts to take it’s course, then of course, helping her talk through it will be extremely important and therapeutic for her. She hasn’t even started treatments yet. I will say, her attitude and courage, the bravery that she’s exhibiting is amazing. Many of us are learning valuable life lessons by watching her deal with this situation.

Play rehearsal was just amazing tonight. The energy is reaching a very good level, the story is taking shape, and the performance of everyone involved has ascended to new heights. I’m so happy to be a part of it. I’m stressing about the wardrobe. If you’ve read this blog for awhile, then you know that I have some major hang-ups about clothing. After being over 500 pounds for nearly two decades, I’ve developed some pretty tough “rules” for dressing. Having to break some of those rules for this play will be an exercise that could help set me free of those silly hang-ups once and for all. It isn’t like I get to make these changes and accept them just around the house, I’m doing them under stage lights, in front of a packed theatre! Well, we certainly aim for it to be packed now don’t we? The director is being very kind and understanding. It would not be out of character for “Hank” to pull out his shirt while he’s at home, so Chris (director) is allowing for some of that, but still…I have to go on stage in a t-shirt and pajama bottoms at one point! I’m cool! Breathe Sean, breathe…there we go, there we go. You know what? I’m going to confidently walk out there as “Hank.” Not as Sean, and Hank doesn’t have these hang-ups!

I had a wonderful day today in the food department. I even enjoyed a few cookies at play rehearsal! And I invested 380 calories at lunch for a…brace yourself… a Filet-O-Fish from McDonald’s! I love those things! I love them too much! That’s why I’ve always tried to avoid them, like not keeping ice cream half gallons in the freezer. It’s a trust issue. I’m trusting myself more and more these days. I can handle myself much better now. I’m not going to run out and stock up on ice cream half-gallons any time soon, but a Filet-O-Fish on the run, every now and then, sure…why not? Sodium? Oh sure, but still, why not?

Our computer is still being rehabbed. We really messed it up this time! So I haven’t been able to be on after I leave work. It should be ready to take home today! Thank you for reading. Goodnight and…

Good Choices,


  1. Congrats on your loss - believe me many of us would like to lose 3 lbs. every two weeks! Glad to hear your sister-in-law's surgery was successful. I pray you all continue to find your way through JoEllen's journey.

  2. I am so glad JoEllen's surgery has helped her eyesight some, I am still thinking of you all.

    Well done on another 3lb down and for being in the 280s - yes, the losses do show up more the lower in weight you are.

  3. Way to go on your 3 more lbs, you are just amazing. Glad JoEllen's surgery went well and she's doing ok. I know all this must just be terribly tough for you and Irene. I'm still praying for you all.

  4. Yay! The 280's....I know that feels fantastic Sean. Thank God the surgery was a answer to prayer!! I will continue praying dilligently that all of her health is restored. 4 sons!!!

  5. 4 sons under 7? Wow, I will double up on prayers for JoEllen and all of you! What a blessing that her eye surgery was a success. And I'm so glad she is feeling more positive now, too. And even with all this going on with you and Irene, you are still able to get the Fish Filet and even a few cookies and not slip back into the old Sean! You are definitely there, friend. Once you hear those first laughs and applause, you will forget about "wardrobe issues," and will be the "ham" I know you are! Can't wait to see it!

  6. Thanks for the update on JoEllen! I was just about to head over to Irene's blog for info but happened to stop here first.

    Congrats on another loss & on your continued positive attitude & energy.
    I know I can always head over here & will read something positive. Even if you're having a bad day you manage to spin it to the good side.

    Have a great weekend!

  7. Congrats on the 3 lbs Sean!

    And man, the 280s. That sounds so good. I don't know why, out of all the number I read on these blogs every day or even your past ones, why 289 hit me so hard. I think its because I don't remember ever being that small.

    Oh well, glad JoEllen's surgery was a success, and all my continued best to you and your family.

  8. so glad her surgery went well. to you buddy, you are rockin! :) So proud of you!

  9. I'm happy to hear the surgery went well and will pray for continued success for her.
    Congrats to you for another loss in the midst of all the goings on in your life! I think the only thing you will have to worry about regarding your wardrobe for the play is if it will still fit you!
    Thanks for the daily doses of inspiration!

  10. Nice loss. You're really getting into some rareified air...

  11. I am so glad the surgury went well! Congratulations on you loss!

  12. I am glad jo ellens surgery helped her. It's never a good time for the give up and die speech. But I am glad she has you guys if things don't go as hoped and prayed for. There is so much modern medicine can do now, it's incredible.
    Wow, 289. You are getting close. You must be excited. I think that's how I will feel once I am under 200. After that it's just chipping away. Every pound makes a difference at that stage. Keep up the fantastic work!

  13. I am feeling a sincere since of relief about JoEllen. I thought about her this weekend. Thank God her surgery was an improvement. I expect her to get even healthier as time goes by. And 3 lbs gone is also fantastic news!

  14. I missed getting your weigh day text! Are you not doing it anymore? I'm playing catch up again. I've been sick and not felt like reading except to check messages. Congrats on being in the 280's!! You've come a long way, Baby! YOU DA MAN!!! I'm really proud of you!


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