Day 393 This Is A Weight Loss Blog and The Fruits of Transformation

Day 393

This Is A Weight Loss Blog and The Fruits of Transformation

All day long I've felt very weird about posting last night's blog. I don't like recalling that experience. I felt exposed, just completely vulnerable. I can't even remember all of the fine details that made up that experience. Irene and my dad had to remind me of some of those crazy details. I'm glad we got through that. And, no more will I go that deep into my personal life in these writings. It's too much. I'm already personal enough, I just thought Hmm, what have I not already shared? And that experience popped into my head. It was horrifying and twisted. Those people were psychotic and probably on drugs. Thank you to Jack Sh*t for sharing the correct spelling of Osceola, Arkansas, he would know! And as far as the “were they ever charged” question? I seriously doubt it. The police felt the best thing they could do was get us out of town and back to Oklahoma, far away from these people. After they retrieved our vehicle, I think they felt that their job was done. They certainly dropped the ball if this is indeed how they felt. All I know is, we never heard another thing about that situation. Shall we move on? Good.

This is a weight loss blog. A blog about the incredible transformation we're capable of when we decide that nothing will stop us. It's a blog about consistency, good choices, self-honesty, and breaking free. It's a very real account of my personal transformation from 505 pounds to where I'm headed. 230? Sure, but I doubt that's where we'll stay. With added muscle, 250 perhaps. You know what I want, at least you do if you're a regular reader. I want to be lean. I want the fat gone, all of it, replaced by a fit physique that feels right and good. Above all else, I want to be healthy. The great thing is, considering I no longer take any blood pressure medication, nor do I use a machine to sleep properly, the healthy part is here now. The blood institute calls me all the time now wanting me to donate my healthy blood, you know how good that feels? As far as the physical transformation goes, I don't want to take pictures and decide which ones I like, I want to love them all. And so the work continues. But it continues with a confident spirit. And by “continues,” I'm not saying it ever stopped. It didn't. But as you know, I've stacked my schedule full lately and it rarely included workouts. I did get exercise, but you know what I mean. One thing that's never changed is my complete control over my food intake. I eat responsibly, it's just what I do. I don't gorge or binge, I don't have the desire to do that. I did enough of that the last two decades, I've had my fill of being completely out of control. I like this much better.

I received a text today from someone asking if I was slacking. They were only joking really, but I quickly reported NO! I've been living a dream lately. It's a dream made possible by this amazing transformation. I'm not done, far from it, but the changes I've made already have completely changed my life for the better. If enjoying what was once impossible is considered “slacking,” then I'm guilty. But I certainly don't look at it like that. Playing a lead character in a dramatic production has always been a dream of mine, always. And I've always let my weight keep me from that experience. I always knew it was in me, the ability, the talent was in me, I was always sure of that, but I was trapped by morbid obesity. The real me couldn't get out and live.

I now want to do everything I could never do before. And the list of things to do will grow as I progress on this road. My biggest challenge will be slowing down enough to realize that I don't have to do everything all at once. I am like a kid in a candy store, but I must remember: This candy store is always open. I need to carefully take my time and move forward, never losing focus on where I'm headed and what I plan to accomplish in time.

We're headed to the YMCA this evening. It's been a while. I wonder if they'll even recognize us? Irene left for work, so it's just Courtney and me---headed for a workout, like so many times along this road. We're going to sweat and it's going to feel good, real good. Weigh day is Wednesday! Let's move! I really hope to have hit the 220 pounds lost mark by then, we'll see. If not, that's completely cool. We're getting there. We're going to be just fine, absolutely fine.

Thank you for reading and following my journey. I haven't had much time lately for catching up with all of my blog friends, and I feel horrible about that. Please understand that I'm always here, and sometimes I read without commenting. If you ever feel inclined, drop me an e-mail to seanboy105@hotmail.com or add me as a friend on Facebook. I promise I'll respond to any weight loss related questions. Again, thank you for reading. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean