Sunday, October 4, 2009

Day 384 Letting Go of A Serious Hang-Up and Another Cookout Success

Day 384

Letting Go of A Serious Hang-Up and Another Cookout Success

It's amazing how some of our biggest hang-ups, our fears, are completely false creations of our mind. Often times the reality of the situation isn't what we feared at all, we were too busy fearing our misconceptions to realize the truth.

I look smaller without an over-shirt. There, I said it. It's true. I faced this fear of leaving home without my shirt-over-shirt security blanket yesterday. I arrived at the studio wearing an Oklahoma State Nike coaches pull-over. It's one of those special shirts that wick away the sweat from your body. It was a gift from a friend recently. I knew that this very nice shirt would never get out of my closet if I didn't face my hang-up head on. So I put it on and stressed in front of the mirror for ten minutes. What about my man boobs? Oh yes, they're considerably smaller, but they're still there, and the impression of that small roll of fat and excess skin...what about that? And then I realized something powerful. I asked myself: Who am I trying to impress? Do I continue denying the dramatic changes to my appearance while focusing on the flaws that still exist? Or do I march out to the garage and take a close look at those giant poster size before pictures so I can see the wonderful differences for myself. I did look at those pictures again, and something clicked for me. I have no reason to hold onto those hang-ups any longer. I proudly walked out of the house with that shirt on, jumped in the car and headed to work. I only checked my reflection 17 times yesterday to make sure I could handle it, I looked fine, just fine.

When I arrived at rehearsal Friday night, the play t-shirts had arrived. They have printing on the front and back. Wow, another shirt I can't wear with an over-shirt. Someone mentioned that they arrived just in time for everyone to wear them over the weekend. Opening night is only a few days away, it's time to promote! So I did it again today. I decided to wear my new “Call Me Henry” shirt to my Oktober Fest broadcast. And you know what? I had more “wow” reactions than I've ever had with an over-shirt. My weight loss is more dramatic without the extra shirt, huh...and all this time I thought it had the opposite effect...again---too busy fearing my misconceptions to realize the truth.

As I was leaving the broadcast I was approached by a nice couple who greeted me with compliments. Roy and Jo Neal told me that they read this blog everyday. Jo clarified “I read it everyday, he's not much of a reader.” “but you show him the pictures,” I replied. “Oh yes I do.” And then Roy offered compliments on the amusement park pictures. I'm not sure they read for weight loss inspiration because they both look great, but they do read everyday, well...Jo does, and she shares it with Roy. And Roy and Jo, I appreciate your readership! You made me feel wonderful. Thank you for that.

After my broadcast I traveled to Wal-Mart to grab a few things for a cookout at the house. I picked up some lean burgers (85/15) and some fat free forty calorie Ball Park franks. I also grabbed some chips and buns and the produce to top the burgers. With Amber and KL, plus JoEllen and her daughter Mary in attendance, we enjoyed the cookout tremendously. I prepared a 600 calorie plate. It was 100 calories more than my normal 500 max per meal rule, but it still only brought my total at that point to 870, so I wasn't too worried.

JoEllen showed wonderful strides with her improving post-surgery vision by preparing her own plate. She's going to make it, I just know she will. Thank you again for your prayers. I've shared your messages with her everyday. She's really touched by the outpouring of love that has come her way. It's made an amazing difference in her attitude.

We enjoyed a movie night at home tonight. It was wonderful to get a chance to slow down enough to relax and just watch a movie with my girls. We needed that.

Irene is off tonight, so I better get off of here and enjoy her while I can. Before I do, let me say this: If you're on a similar journey---keep going. Get here to this wonderful point. It's hard to put into words how amazing it feels, just use your imagination---and never quit. Never, ever, ever quit. It's just not an option. I wish you much success as I continue mine. Thank you for reading. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean

15 comments:

  1. hi i just found your blog tonight and you are soo encouraging to me,,my dear BF and i are hoping to lose some weight as we have a long way to go he has over 2oo to lose and i about 60 ,im hoping we can do this ;) any suggestions ,,stop by my blog soon . cilla

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  2. Way to go on wearing just one shirt, I do know this struggle myself but about my arms. It's tough to break it. I think coming to the realization that it's really just us that notices our imperfection. Glad you got some family time in.

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  3. just found your blog through a friend, you are amazing and i shall use your energy to help me with my journey...thanks!

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  4. Congratulations! You've achieved an internal success tonight. I think that is going to greatest healing of all where you are concerned! God Bless!

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  5. Glad you're overcoming another hang-up....that's real progress! Good things just keep happening, don't they? Enjoy the weekend with the fam. :)

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  6. I'm proud for you making that leap outside your comfort zone by going without that "over-shirt"! Change is hard...really hard I know, your doing so awesome

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  7. Well I'm no psycoanalyst but I'd say that your overshirt represents some sort of protective cover . You've spent the last year getting rid of your "fat" cover so the overshirt is just another step in exposing your "Undercover Brother." Way to go Sean!

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  8. The over-shirt is such a time-honored technique for the overweight person. But somehow I never thought that's what you were doing. Guess I just thought it was your style statement. Or maybe I really just thought only women used the technique. But I relate to the big milestone that you consider this to be! I've been there before, soon to be there again, for the last time. I remember how freeing it was.

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  9. Oh, Sean--I'm so happy you went out without the second shirt! I've been wondering when you would realize you didn't need it! Your confidence is soaring to even greater heights and you don't need that extra security any longer! WOO-HOO!!! What a wonderful victory for you!

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  10. Way to go shirtless!! ;) Seriously, letting go of those hang-ups is a huge step. I'm so happy for you :)

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  11. Sean, now we need a picture of you with your play shirt on (and no outer shirt). I bet you look great! I'm really enjoying your blog.

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  12. Sean, I totally get what you mean about the shirt things. I have this pair of jeans I wear from like 65 lbs ago that I really should not be wearing anymore but they are comfy and I feel so small in them...but apparently they dont make me LOOK as small as I feel in them. In fact when I wear the clothes that feel more revealing of all my lumps n bumps, I get far more compliments...weird...Keep it up...pretty soon you will be wearing spandex????

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  13. It's great that you are unveiling. . . and so happy to hear good news about your sister-in-law.

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  14. I have done the shirt over shirt thing forever...even in the summer. People used to ask me if I was 'hot' h*ll yeah I was hot. Burning up. But i would've rather died of heat stroke that have anybody get a good look at my stomach and my huge rear end. My motto is 'skim, it has to skin' NOw that I have lost over 40 lbs. My shirts catch so much wind that I may just lift off one day. (I need smaller shirts) Good on you for going in one layer.

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