It's certainly been a busy week around here. I've had too many late nights followed by early mornings. I plan on catching up on sleep this weekend.
I was visiting with my friend, Life Coach Gerri Helms, last night when she reminded me of the important difference between making time and finding time.
After we hung up from our conversation, I thought about it more. The focus of our conversation was on my personal and professional goals. The one thought I kept coming back to was how we make time for things we passionately desire and are not afraid of pursuing. We try to find the time to do things we're passionate about, yet for whatever reason, we're holding back. And that's the point where not being able to find the time becomes a fantastic out. Fear of success? Perhaps. Fear of failure? Could be the case.
If I apply the lessons I've learned throughout this relapse-regain & recovery experience, I realize--there's no such thing as failure as long as we're evolving. Even if the evolution is in a negative direction, there's positive if we're aware and we care to keep an open mind enough to extract lessons from the experience. If we can get past the self-loathing; the constantly brutal assault on ourselves for what we've done, then we're able to clear the path of clutter and very likely, turn it completely around. Failure can't be declared unless we've completely given up.
I'm grateful for my relapse/regain period. If you haven't followed along over the last eleven months, this statement likely seems ridiculous. If you have followed along, then you know exactly what I'm writing about here. I needed the experience. I needed to take it to the brink of failure, as in giving up, in order to learn the things I needed to learn and fully appreciate. I was right there on the edge of fully committing either way: Giving up or choosing change.
I made the best decision to choose change instead of allowing change to choose me. I didn't try to find the time to center my focus on recovery. I made time for it because it was and will always be critically important, truly sacred, and passionately non-negotiable.
And if I never write another book, or stand in front of an audience to deliver a talk, or develop new and exciting ways to share my message--If I never make this passion of mine my full-time livelihood--I'm still a success.
Embracing this truth is helpful to me.
God willing, I will write another book. I will speak about this entire experience on numerous occasions in the future. I will develop new and exciting ways to share my message. I am doing it. I'm making time, not trying to find time.
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Today was a long broadcast day. I did a location broadcast this afternoon/evening from three to seven at a farm/vineyard/winery. They were offering samples of wine, lamb and cheese. You know how I love my cheese! I made a calorie budget decision when I declined the samples. I decided on a good dinner to be not long after the conclusion of the broadcast--and the anticipation of that meal kept me perfectly fine and patient.
I made today a rest day in the exercise department. I hadn't planned on doing this. It was a decision made late in the afternoon when I realized how incredibly tired I felt. It was the correct decision for me, today.
This is likely one of my heaviest 'before' pictures.
I'm sleeping in some tomorrow and a little more on Sunday. I have another location broadcast tomorrow from ten a.m. to two p.m. I plan on making it into the YMCA for a good workout both Saturday and Sunday. I plan to do some outdoor grilling and I plan on giving faux mashed potatoes made with cauliflower another try this weekend. I think the second time will be the time it turns out right. The first attempt turned out to be an opportunity to learn. If you were one that shared your experience, thank you for the assist!
My Tweets Today:
Friday morning, good day! Dark roast with sugar free hazelnut creamer. 30 cal X 2 cups= 60 cal. pic.twitter.com/CJxygim9zS
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) March 20, 2015
Guac/mozz omelet. 2 whole eggs, 1 egg white, 2 slices thin mozz, 66g avocado, 15g lght sr crm, mshrms, apple. 444 cal pic.twitter.com/JVKlRQcutp
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) March 20, 2015
2 cups with lunch. #wateraccountability pic.twitter.com/wJ7BtI9o7b
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) March 20, 2015
Two ff/sf bean (130g) & provolone tostadas w/salsa & lght sr cream (15g), 3/4 srv blue chips, salsa, sr crm. 498 cal. pic.twitter.com/xCbWM7tFnO
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) March 20, 2015
2.5 cups. #wateraccountability pic.twitter.com/pPOBz4p9zq
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) March 20, 2015
On location. At a farm and vineyards. This is an Emu. How many calories in wine? They're offering free samples. pic.twitter.com/maKE7Tildh
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) March 20, 2015
The emu seemed withdrawn and misunderstood, perhaps a little depressed. It's an emo emu.
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) March 20, 2015
Wine, cheese and lamb tasting. I'm declining. Dinner soon. It looks wonderful! Everyone is raving! I believe them! pic.twitter.com/rP0n7RCbj6
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) March 20, 2015
A few things... pic.twitter.com/6EZmFhCJGJ
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) March 21, 2015
2.5 cups with dinner. #watertracking #wateraccountability pic.twitter.com/ZlzcJLvlRa
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) March 21, 2015
Chicken (6oz) & zucchini tacos w/lght sr crm & lettuce. Salsa mixed w/light sr crm. Blue chips (28g), pear. 595 cal. pic.twitter.com/JUQk1kx15N
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) March 21, 2015
After dinner cup of dark roast with sugar free hazelnut creamer. 30 cal. pic.twitter.com/xRoTZcVsDG
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) March 21, 2015
With <100 calories left in the bank, I can't think of a better value to me, than a good apple. #lastfoodofday 80 cal. pic.twitter.com/05NhY0rY9Q
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) March 21, 2015
Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
You are so right! failure is an end point and at no time will we raise the white flag while we are still climbing up that mountain, we may tumble backwards a bit, but we will keep climbing! And one fine day, we will reach the summit and smile!
ReplyDeleteFFF, very well said, my friend! Thank you!
DeleteI am so proud of you for not taking up the samplers rap with the cheese
ReplyDeleteWell done my friend ... Hope you get good rest
Thank you, TR! Yeah-- Cheese and I have an understanding, as long as it's properly measured, I'm usually okay. I did grab a small sample Saturday--but I clearly overestimated the size... I prefer the pre measured slices--or weighing it on a digital food scale.
DeleteGreat post. Sean, do you plan your food the night before or just as you go along through the day? Shirley from TN
ReplyDeleteI rarely plan far ahead. I usually do it as I go-- or maybe several hours ahead at best. I just make sure I have what I like on hand at all times--that way, making those decisions isn't too difficult. I'm just not a big planner or pre-cooker type person. It's a very simplified approach I take. I totally understand why some people prefer to plan well ahead--even cooking up an entire weeks worth of meals--but I've just never been a fan of that approach. For me, I know what I like--I know what I don't. I keep what I like on hand at home and work--and a grocery store is two blocks from my apartment--and 1/2 mile from studio--so if I'm ever in need, I'm close.
DeleteIf someone is a distance from a store--I could see where some heavy duty pre-planning might be in order.
Sean, I worked as an event specialist for four and a half years and half way through is when I decided to give up sugar.... it's so remarkable to me that once I did I could look at whatever it was that I was demonstrating and promote the samples to my customers and not ever really be tempted to try them myself. I knew how yummy they were but I was easily able to wait for better choices.. stable blood sugar I guess? I don't know but non abstainers marvel still. Yesterday was my birthday and I just don't ever want to cheat. It really feels good :) p.s. I know how careful you are with calories and cheese consumption but if like to share a tip I use for mashed cauliflower.... whether frozen our fresh I steam mine dry in the microwave and make sure it's bone dry when I mash it. I use a little shredded sharp white cheese ( bought from beloved aldi!! ) season with salt and pepper and add to the still warm puree ..it seems to not only taste great but it adds to the mouth feel!! Happy experimenting, my friend!
ReplyDeleteNicole, Thank you for sharing this!! I relate 1000%!! The longer I abstain, the stronger my resolve to keep on abstaining. And since I'm fully aware of how my brain reacts to sugar--my perspective has changed...when I look at something sugary, I don't see it the same as I once did...Now, I look at it like it's poison to me. I would never deliberately ingest poison. I pray I always keep this attitude and perspective. It's crucial to my continued recovery!
DeleteHappy belated Birthday!!!
Thank you for the cauliflower tip! I'll try it next time. LOVE Aldi!! And their cheese selection is second to none!
I prepared cauliflower mash tonight using a splash of cashew milk, 1/3 less fat cream cheese and garlic, plus salt and pepper to taste. The consistency still wasn't what I wanted--but closer than before. 3rd time will be the one!
I'll be praying with you :) proud of you!
DeleteI'll be praying with you :) proud of you!
DeleteAh, giving up or choosing change. While I fought the withdrawals from grains and sugars, I often said to myself "I choose this". And, it kept me focused on my "finding time" activities, like home cooking, the gym, but also photography and spending time with my daughter. So much happier than the numb out from the sugar.
ReplyDeleteEmu's are funny birds.
Glad you are grateful for your past and choosing and finding time for your current goals. Keep going!
Karen, thank you. You described a very nice balanced life. That's the victory, isn't it? Much happier, indeed!
DeleteEmu's are awkward birds--and fun to watch. The base drum noise they make is weird.
I'm a keep going, Karen, thank you!! You too, my friend!!
Seeing that emu just makes me think of its drumstick covered in teriyaki...but I digress.
ReplyDeleteEveryday we wake up and choose what we eat and how much we walk or exercise. Failure signifies finality and that doesn't happen until death. Until then, we just keep choosing, good or bad.
I now suggest you shave the face...that'll be a nice symbol of change.
Emu drumsticks...mmmm...
Delete"Failure signifies finality and that doesn't happen until death." Yes sir--nice.
I shaved it close tonight after my workout and shower--- but didn't go all the way yet-- waiting to get haircut first.
Thank you, Clyde!
Sean - you are simply amazing. I'm so glad you're here and share your thoughts. You give me strength!
ReplyDeleteLucky Mama, thank you! I'm so glad I have loyal and wonderful supporters like you, LM. You give me incredible strength, always. I'm glad what I share resonates with you! :)
Delete