Saturday, March 7, 2015

March 7th, 2015 A First Things First Type Thing

March 7th, 2015 A First Things First Type Thing

Warmer weather has arrived around here. It was absolutely beautiful today! I slept in soundly, soaking up the rest wonderfully. I had many sleep apnea issues at the top of my regain, immediately preceding this turnaround. To sleep so well now, is an amazing blessing. I'm immensely grateful for where my sleep health rests today. It's night and day different. I've been waiting for symptoms to return because I'm right around the weight when the issues came back before, during my initial weight loss. It hasn't happened so far (knocking on wood while simultaneously praying).

The treatment of my sleep apnea in early 2014 helped me get back out of constantly exhausted mode and helped me start anew, stopping the regain in its tracks. This road is ten times harder when you're constantly exhausted. It certainly wasn't the only thing that helped me, but it was the first thing I needed to address. Everything else--the modifications to my food plan, the more structured accountability system and the increased support, all followed. Addressing the sleep apnea issue was a first things first type thing. 

I'm very well aware that weight loss and maintenance may or may not put an end to my sleep apnea issues. All I can do now is pray that my body continues to react in positive ways to my transformation.

I enjoyed a great workout at the YMCA this afternoon. They wouldn't let me move the elliptical outside, dang it. I've officially graduated to level 16 on that thing. I started on level 2 eleven months ago. I've mentioned it before, how when I first started on level 2, I remember noticing the guy next to me rocking level 12 and how incredibly impressed I was. Level 2 made me want to stop after five minutes. Now, I'm rocking 16 for a solid thirty. The complete workout and how I feel when I step off the ride, is hard to describe. It's a euphoric endorphin rush, a totally natural high.

I did my weight training routine fairly quickly because I was the only one on the upper body machines. Even with some consistency issues, I'm getting stronger. I've increased the weights on nearly everything and I'm seeing a little more definition, especially in my arms. This makes me want to improve my consistency and up my routine.  

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The photo on the left was snapped at the top of my regain/relapse period. I was as miserable and depressed as this picture suggests. I haven't a clue what possessed me to snap a photo. Perhaps I was trying to stun myself back into action. The photo on the right was taken shortly before writing tonight's edition.

Amber and I enjoyed dinner together tonight, before visiting Courtney and Noah for a little while. Noah is coming to stay a few hours with me tomorrow afternoon/early evening. I'm so excited! We're going to have a blast.

When I look into my grandson's bright eyes, as he smiles at me--I'm once again reminded of one of the very important reasons I'm doing what I do. I want to inspire this little guy. I want to be one of his heroes. I want to be alive, vibrant, full of energy and enthusiasm and ready to grow old youthfully as he grows up out of his youth and into adulthood.

It's super late--and adding to this is daylight savings time returning this morning. We forward the clocks one hour. I hope you're having decent weather where you live. It will likely be near 70 degrees Fahrenheit here tomorrow. I just might take Noah to the park!

My Tweets Today:


























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

15 comments:

  1. Oh you looked so sad. I'm very happy for you that you turned it around. And I'm with you on the CPAP - any day I'm not exhausted is a good day.

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    1. Thank you, Natalie. The difference between an exhausted day and a well rested day, is worlds apart. As you progress, I hope you experience an alleviated need! I love being able to rest well without the machine--but if symptoms come roaring back, I'll quickly dust it off and hope it helps me.

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  2. For a grand dad you look great Sean! I don't think I would want to crossed the mean looking dude on the left picture :)

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    1. Thank you, Richard. I started having kids at 18. Starting young was tough--but now, has many benefits! I get to feel young and be young with the kids and grandkids!
      Yeah--the look in the picture on the left, really was more sadness and depression than anything else. I've never been a mean guy, really--except to myself! And it wasn't necessarily for my physical appearance--the look came from feeling like I was so lost--and so out of line with my goals and dreams. I truly felt like I had it all--then threw it all away. Picking up the pieces-- sorting it out-- forgiving myself and being able to move forward in a positive direction, has done wonders for me--in monumental ways.

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  3. Enjoy your day Sean! It's supposed to be in the mid 60s here - I think a walk in the park is a priority! :-)

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    1. Thank you, Neca! A nice walk outside is a great idea! I think I'll take Noah to the park later. I'm excited about getting him for a little while today! :)

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  4. I so wished I had taken a few before pics when I started. :( I am struggling to overcome the fact that I've plateaued for so long. I am failing at something here and not sure what. I ate a chocochip muffin last night and wailed like a freakin' baby. My won fault. I own it. I'm just at a loss.. Sorry I vented there... not sure if this ever gets easy.
    On that note. Have a blast with Noah today! Enjoy the weather..! Maybe thats what I need, sun! :)
    have fun and you look great BTW!
    Rosie

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    1. No apologies necessary. The best next move, Rosie, is to leave it behind you and move forward. This is never supposed to be perfect.
      One thing to consider is how you were feeling immediately before the muffin. Were you H.ungry, A.ngry, L.onely or T.ired? The acronym HALT has been used in recovery circles for who knows how long--and it's so very true. If we're any of these things, it makes good choices much more difficult. The goal is to raise our awareness to a level where we question the why of what we're doing before we do it. It's a big challenge, Rosie. But people are doing it everyday. You can, too! Forgive yourself, Rosie.
      You've made incredible progress along the way. Own it--acknowledge how wonderfully far you've come--and champion yourself forward!!!
      Vitamin D via sunshine is always a mood lifter, don't you think?
      I can't wait for Noah's arrival! I'm thrilled.
      Thank you for the compliment!

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  5. That's crazy at the difference hard to believe it's the same person

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  6. You look very sad - extremely sad to me, in the picture on the left - as if you were about to cry. Could the lack of sleep apnea be because you have worked on yourself and are FAR ahead of where you were back then. All the psychological things you have uncovered since HAVE to make a difference, including in sleeping.... don't you think?
    N~

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    1. I cried many times back then, when nobody was around. I felt incredibly lost and I kept beating myself up for my perceived failure. Humbling myself to the point of truth, where I could look at the entire picture of reality--then forgiving myself, was critically important in being able to move forward.
      Had I kept crying and kept feeling sorry for myself--and beating myself up for what I perceived as this monumental throwing away of every hope and dream I held--I would likely be back at 500 pounds right now.
      The psychological epiphanies have made a HUGE impact. May 15th of last year--in that one day, was a life altering change to my perspective along this road.
      From a physical standpoint, I know the weight loss has improved the sleep situation. But I get what you're suggesting--and I agree, reaching a peace accord with certain voices inside has certainly made a difference on a mental/emotional level--and that translates to better rest.

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  7. So glad you are the happier man, rather than the depressed sad version of yourself. Enjoy the weather, your grandson, your life today! :)

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    1. Thank you, Gwen! I'm much happier! The sad depressed version of me wasn't a good place to be mentally/emotionally and physically.
      Oh my--the weather is great and Noah is the epitome of love and joy. I am blessed and very grateful.

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