I carry the same perspective toward my food in maintenance mode as I did in weight loss mode. I eat what I like and nothing I don't as long as the food in question qualifies within my personal boundaries. This means: It mustn't sacrifice the integrity of my calorie budget and it must be refined sugar free. If those two conditions are met, then okay--it gets the green light, if I so choose.
The power of choice eliminates feelings of deprivation. If we're resisting something we really want, fighting it with every ounce of will power we can muster--then feelings of deprivation might develop. But if we know we can choose it if we want it in our calorie budget, and instead we're acknowledging the fact that we can have it, but we're choosing to pass--suddenly it's not deprivation, it's choice. In this, we're transferring the power from the food to us, where it belongs.
I emceed Oktoberfest all day today. Could I have found qualifying vendor food choices to fit into my budget? Yes. My focus wasn't on the food choices, it was squarely on the job I was hired to do. I didn't want to focus on searching for calorie counts or guesstimating anything. My certainty was found in the items I brought to carry me through the day. My mind was free to focus on the job at hand.
"Oh that's right, you're a health nut." was mentioned by one of the crew as I pulled my prepared and packed items out of the bag. I'm not sure if I've ever been referred to as a "health nut," but sure--I'll take it. Isn't it interesting? When we take extraordinary care we're sometimes referred to as a nut. Notice, it's rarely uttered by someone making the same type choices for themselves, quite the opposite, usually. Calling someone else a "health nut" immediately improves how they feel about their own choices because, hey--I'm not a nut, they are with their apples and almonds. Crazy people.
I notice the biggest contrasts in my mental/emotional and physical transformation with annual events like this emcee job, when I'm out in the community--exposed. I can look back to previous years and compare.
Nothing compares to how I feel today. It isn't simply because of the physical change. It's much deeper than the obvious. The peace and calm I feel is the biggest difference. The way I evaluate my self-worth and identity has completely changed my perspective on everything.
Several pictures on stage today at Oktoberfest 2015
One picture from Oktoberfest Emcee duties--2014
There isn't a picture from 2013. But there is a Facebook post reflective of where I was and how I was feeling.
Facebook Post on October 5th, 2013:
"First of all, let me state for the record: I believe whole heartedly in The Four Agreements. The 2nd agreement is my favorite. Never take anything personally. What others do or say is a reflection of them, not me. With a bright smile on my face, I hereby award today's most creative way someone approached me in public to call me out for weight gain: "Sean, you're a shadow of your former self, but you're making a come back!" I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I think he was genuinely concerned for me, so I thanked him and said I was doing okay. And I am...doing okay. Really."
Okay. I may have been okay with the guy saying what he said two years ago, but I was clearly not okay... really.
It feels good to genuinely be okay.
Tomorrow will be another day emceeing the main stage at Oktoberfest. Who knows, I might find lunch within the many food vendors. Or I might pack something like I did today. I haven't decided. Either way, it will qualify within my personal food boundaries, by choice.
My exercise today was off the chart. I have zero idea how to enter it into MFP. I'm not wearing a fitbit or any other tracker, but I know what a really good exercise day feels like. This one was one of those. I'm sore. That's proof enough for me.
My Tweets Today:
Dark roast with two tablespoons half & half X two cups. Good morning! 80 cal. pic.twitter.com/pjzHQBaElj— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) October 3, 2015
2 whl/2 egg whts, scrambled w/2oz mshrms & topped w/1 slice provolone, 3 slices thick cut bacon, 161g apple. 547 cal. pic.twitter.com/ED0TG6KwuQ— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) October 3, 2015
Breakfast in MFP... pic.twitter.com/xH9bXSy410— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) October 3, 2015
Half the almonds I brought (approx. 21.5g) & 185g red grapes. 247 cal. pic.twitter.com/OkJAEOsRDV— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) October 3, 2015
21.5g almonds, 138g apple, approx. 4oz banana & low fat part skim mozzarella-cheddar twist stick. 333 cal. pic.twitter.com/3p6bfya7l1— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) October 3, 2015
Venti Dark Roast pour over with three tablespoons half & half. 60 cal. pic.twitter.com/AKrQQw9maV— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) October 3, 2015
A few things... Or several. pic.twitter.com/KHYyJYRSsB— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) October 4, 2015
Appetizer: Guac & Chips. 160g avocado, 30g light sour cream, diced red onion, salt & pepper. 28 grams chips. 453 cal. pic.twitter.com/9v8fZ48N18— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) October 4, 2015
Beef Fajita & Zucchini Crunchy Tacos w/approx 4oz fajita beef, 30g full fat sour cream and zucchini. 349 cal. pic.twitter.com/5OxKYtfX8V— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) October 4, 2015
After dinner "it's been a long day," cup. Super dark roast coffee with three tablespoons half & half. 60 cal. pic.twitter.com/ymQHL2SPBl— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) October 4, 2015
Thank you for reading and your continued support,