Saturday, October 3, 2015

October 3rd, 2015 By Choice

October 3rd, 2015 By Choice

I carry the same perspective toward my food in maintenance mode as I did in weight loss mode. I eat what I like and nothing I don't as long as the food in question qualifies within my personal boundaries. This means: It mustn't sacrifice the integrity of my calorie budget and it must be refined sugar free. If those two conditions are met, then okay--it gets the green light, if I so choose.

The power of choice eliminates feelings of deprivation. If we're resisting something we really want, fighting it with every ounce of will power we can muster--then feelings of deprivation might develop. But if we know we can choose it if we want it in our calorie budget, and instead we're acknowledging the fact that we can have it, but we're choosing to pass--suddenly it's not deprivation, it's choice. In this, we're transferring the power from the food to us, where it belongs.

I emceed Oktoberfest all day today. Could I have found qualifying vendor food choices to fit into my budget? Yes. My focus wasn't on the food choices, it was squarely on the job I was hired to do. I didn't want to focus on searching for calorie counts or guesstimating anything. My certainty was found in the items I brought to carry me through the day. My mind was free to focus on the job at hand.

"Oh that's right, you're a health nut."  was mentioned by one of the crew as I pulled my prepared and packed items out of the bag. I'm not sure if I've ever been referred to as a "health nut," but sure--I'll take it. Isn't it interesting? When we take extraordinary care we're sometimes referred to as a nut. Notice, it's rarely uttered by someone making the same type choices for themselves, quite the opposite, usually. Calling someone else a "health nut" immediately improves how they feel about their own choices because, hey--I'm not a nut, they are with their apples and almonds. Crazy people.

I notice the biggest contrasts in my mental/emotional and physical transformation with annual events like this emcee job, when I'm out in the community--exposed. I can look back to previous years and compare.

Nothing compares to how I feel today. It isn't simply because of the physical change. It's much deeper than the obvious. The peace and calm I feel is the biggest difference. The way I evaluate my self-worth and identity has completely changed my perspective on everything.
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Several pictures on stage today at Oktoberfest 2015

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One picture from Oktoberfest Emcee duties--2014

There isn't a picture from 2013. But there is a Facebook post reflective of where I was and how I was feeling.

Facebook Post on October 5th, 2013:

"First of all, let me state for the record: I believe whole heartedly in The Four Agreements. The 2nd agreement is my favorite. Never take anything personally. What others do or say is a reflection of them, not me. With a bright smile on my face, I hereby award today's most creative way someone approached me in public to call me out for weight gain: "Sean, you're a shadow of your former self, but you're making a come back!" I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I think he was genuinely concerned for me, so I thanked him and said I was doing okay. And I am...doing okay. Really."

Okay. I may have been okay with the guy saying what he said two years ago, but I was clearly not okay... really.

It feels good to genuinely be okay.

Tomorrow will be another day emceeing the main stage at Oktoberfest. Who knows, I might find lunch within the many food vendors. Or I might pack something like I did today. I haven't decided. Either way, it will qualify within my personal food boundaries, by choice.

My exercise today was off the chart. I have zero idea how to enter it into MFP. I'm not wearing a fitbit or any other tracker, but I know what a really good exercise day feels like. This one was one of those. I'm sore. That's proof enough for me.

My Tweets Today:

Thank you for reading and your continued support,


  1. It doesn't matter what side of the scale your on someone has to make a negative comment. Right now if someone called me a health nut I would take it as a compliment instead if being called a chocolate-holic I'm trying to kick the chocolate habit at least my car isn't littered with chocolate bar wrappers anymore. You look great Sean and more important you feel great about your healthy lifestyle.

    1. Joan, thank you for this. I honestly didn't take it as negative. I took it as a compliment while understanding it on a deeper level.
      You mention a great point-- compared to what someone might have called me before--in my out of control days...Yeah, I'll take "health nut" any day.
      OMGoodness---I totally relate to your chocolate wrappers littering the car...for me it was fast food sacks and wrappers... all over...stuffed under the seats and everywhere...
      I'm so glad I'm not doing that today.

  2. How did you respond to the crew member calling you a "health nut"? These kinds of "people responses" throw me into a tizzy and possibly a binge later.... delayed response. How to handle what I would call a negative attack?

    1. I responded with a smile. It was a compliment. There might have been a time when I wouldn't have reacted in a positive way, but truly-- what others do or say isn't a reflection of us, it's them. Understanding and embracing this has played a major role in the peace and clarity I enjoy in these situations.
      If I somehow resented what I'm doing--or approached it with dread, then it might have affected me differently. But in the embracing of what I do, there's only good--peace and calm...and "health nut?" okay! Sure, I'll be that from that person's perspective... That's cool.
      I must remember that I have the power to choose my perspective in these situations. We can always find the positives if we take the time to look, instead of react.

  3. When you know you're doing the right thing; always listen to yourself and tune out the noise.

  4. I would love to be called a health nut. It means I'm doing it right.

    1. Joan-- there ya go! Excellent perspective! I agree. It means my importance level in taking extraordinary care is showing!! :)

  5. You're providing a great example for people around you and for those of us that read your blog. Health nut? Yes, it's a compliment in my book!

    1. I agree, 100%-- total compliment! And thank you for your words, here. I'm just doing the best I can to take care each day. Giving me that level of importance is crucial for my continued maintenance and recovery. If anyone around me finds positives in it, it is a wonderful, very fulfilling bonus for me. You're so awesome.

    2. I'd consider myself grateful to be a nut like you!!!

  6. It certainly is a compliment! "You health nut!" LOL
    When I'm at work I have a few people who say... "you don't eat anything"
    But! If I was to eat a chocolate bar or a twinkie in front of them they would comment on that! Its just the way of the world. If their not in it they don't know.
    I said it before.. You are a rock star... you just make me realize I can do this ...all my failures and I can still get up and put one foot in front of the other and soon.... I'll get there!
    Thanks Sean!

    1. Rosie, you're the greatest! Thank you!!
      You CAN do this. And you CAN because you've decided you can.
      You're doing fantastic things, Rosie!!

  7. I love health nut as your new identity! Did this person know you before? A health nut is usually someone we see as a model, no? A model that makes us feel guilty and unworthy. You, of course, Sean don't project anything to push people's guilty buttons--you are all about making the model attainable!
    I certainly ID with the exposed story. Oomph! Good for you to keep on keepin on and preserving your self worth.
    You look great on that stage. So proud of you for packing the food kit to remind you the day at the fair wasn't about food.
    I've been absent for a bit. It is interesting to see how your meals are transitioning. <3


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