Sunday, May 15, 2016

May 15th, 2016 Epiphany Day Anniversary

May 15th, 2016 Epiphany Day Anniversary

From my "Epiphany Day" post on May 15th, 2014:

I'm a great person worthy of love regardless of my size and appearance. I have my mind, sense of humor, talents, a big heart, loads of compassion for others and so very much more. And none of it is diminished with weight gain or increased with weight loss. 

I am me, always.

And my journey will continue toward a healthier weight because I want to live, I want to move easier, I want to experience the freedom a healthy body weight provides. Regardless of how this journey goes, I believe I just discovered one of my greatest personal freedoms of all.

From this blog on May 19th, 2014:

If we tether our identity, self-worth, definition of success and happiness to anything that naturally fluctuates or can change dramatically, then we're in for a roller coaster ride of emotional unrest.

I've always attached my self-worth to my weight. Well, until now of course. I've often talked about potential and not living up to potential. But here's the thing: Potential is tied directly to the constant qualities within us and if our focus is on the pursuit of happiness in every direction except within, then those qualities aren't allowed to flourish, to grow--to give life to the potential within us all.

This whole thing makes me want to take the best care I can. I've never felt more determined to return to a healthy weight. It's what I need physically. What I need emotionally isn't affected by weight loss. And making that distinction provides a nice inner calm, a peace.

The question to determine these inner qualities needing attention and love is: What are the qualities in me that remain regardless of my weight, regardless of my financial situation, regardless of my relationship status, regardless of my professional success--what about me stays the same when all of these other things can and do change?  My heart, soul, sense of humor, natural compassion for others, likes and dislikes, pride in parenting, artistic talents, selflessness, humility, etc. Have you made your list?  And when these constants are cared for and loved, watered, so to speak--they grow, they flourish--and they give us what we need to experience emotional freedom, the freedom and ability to claim our happiness come what may.
Today was my two anniversary of "Epiphany Day."

I no longer base my self-worth and identity on anything that fluctuates. Gaining weight never made me a worse person and losing weight never made me a better person. The deep inner qualities that are the very foundation of me, didn't change. Those inner qualities were ignored for far too long because I was constantly distracted by the natural fluctuation of things outside of myself--and I made those things the source of my self-worth and identity. I abruptly stopped doing that on May 15th, 2014.

In the two years since "Epiphany Day," I've successfully lost the relapse/regain weight--plus some, I'm doing well in maintenance mode, I started doing stand-up again--just because it's in me and I must--no other reason, I started doing speaking engagements again, I have more support interactions and I freely envision/dream of what I want to do and where I want to go. I've been happy in the face of challenges, I've been calm amid stress and I've truly embraced ME on levels I didn't know existed. And now I know, regardless of the ups and downs of life--I can always be happy. And I can genuinely feel good about me. And with this, I know--I will be okay.

I picked up my grandson this afternoon. We shopped for him a pair of shoes--and pretty much destroyed the kids section of a local shoe store. I offered to help reorganize and the offer was politely declined. With every new pair he tried, he sprinted up and down the aisle until we found one pair that was the fastest. It was so much fun!

After our shoe adventure, we made our way to Stillwater for a belated Mother's Day dinner with mom.

It was a beautiful evening--and really, just a wonderful day.

Today-- I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained abstinent from refined sugar, I participated in several support exchanges and I exceeded my daily water goal. That's a solid day. I'll aim for another, tomorrow.

I'll let the Tweets take it the rest of the way...

Today's Live-Tweet Stream:

Thank you for reading and your continued support,

1 comment:

  1. Epiphany Anniversary! Way to go Sean--You continue to motivate me every day! Thanks!! I really need it!! I had my own epiphany about three weeks ago. I had gotten on the scale last Oct. and was up 53 lbs. from my goal weight which I had maintained for almost 3 years, (after losing 178 lbs.) YIKES! But no real epiphany at that point. I did try to get back on track, and in the ensuing almost seven months, managed to drop about 15 pounds. I know it could so easily have gone the other way, so I'm grateful for even the half-hearted effort I put forth. But about three weeks ago, my son and I decided it was time to change it up. We knew we could no longer do it on our own, so we joined Weight Watchers On-Line. I am not crazy about counting these stupid points after over six years of counting calories, but it has given me my mojo back, and that's what I was looking for. Without that mojo/mindset to be vigilant about our program, we cannot achieve anything. Like you say every day, "I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained abstinent from refined sugar, I participated in several support exchanges and I exceeded my daily water goal. That's a solid day. I'll aim for another, tomorrow." I may not have the exact same plan as you, but as long as I stay vigilant about my eating, eliminate the snack binging and try to move more, the weight is going to come back off. I'm down more than half of my regain as of today, and that's after a weekend out of town attending a nephew's graduation party. Talk about temptation! I wasn't perfect, but I maintained 'the integrity' of my plan, and still feel motivated today, in firm possession of the mojo I need to have to lose this weight.

    Your grandson, Noah, is adorable. My own grandson Noah, just turned two and he too is a dynamo. Aren't they fun??? I never could have kept up with him when I weighed 328 lbs., so I enjoy every day I get to spend any time with him.


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