From my "Epiphany Day" post on May 15th, 2014:
I'm a great person worthy of love regardless of my size and appearance. I have my mind, sense of humor, talents, a big heart, loads of compassion for others and so very much more. And none of it is diminished with weight gain or increased with weight loss.
I am me, always.
And my journey will continue toward a healthier weight because I want to live, I want to move easier, I want to experience the freedom a healthy body weight provides. Regardless of how this journey goes, I believe I just discovered one of my greatest personal freedoms of all.
From this blog on May 19th, 2014:
If we tether our identity, self-worth, definition of success and happiness to anything that naturally fluctuates or can change dramatically, then we're in for a roller coaster ride of emotional unrest.
I've always attached my self-worth to my weight. Well, until now of course. I've often talked about potential and not living up to potential. But here's the thing: Potential is tied directly to the constant qualities within us and if our focus is on the pursuit of happiness in every direction except within, then those qualities aren't allowed to flourish, to grow--to give life to the potential within us all.
This whole thing makes me want to take the best care I can. I've never felt more determined to return to a healthy weight. It's what I need physically. What I need emotionally isn't affected by weight loss. And making that distinction provides a nice inner calm, a peace.
The question to determine these inner qualities needing attention and love is: What are the qualities in me that remain regardless of my weight, regardless of my financial situation, regardless of my relationship status, regardless of my professional success--what about me stays the same when all of these other things can and do change? My heart, soul, sense of humor, natural compassion for others, likes and dislikes, pride in parenting, artistic talents, selflessness, humility, etc. Have you made your list? And when these constants are cared for and loved, watered, so to speak--they grow, they flourish--and they give us what we need to experience emotional freedom, the freedom and ability to claim our happiness come what may.
Today was my two anniversary of "Epiphany Day."
I no longer base my self-worth and identity on anything that fluctuates. Gaining weight never made me a worse person and losing weight never made me a better person. The deep inner qualities that are the very foundation of me, didn't change. Those inner qualities were ignored for far too long because I was constantly distracted by the natural fluctuation of things outside of myself--and I made those things the source of my self-worth and identity. I abruptly stopped doing that on May 15th, 2014.
In the two years since "Epiphany Day," I've successfully lost the relapse/regain weight--plus some, I'm doing well in maintenance mode, I started doing stand-up again--just because it's in me and I must--no other reason, I started doing speaking engagements again, I have more support interactions and I freely envision/dream of what I want to do and where I want to go. I've been happy in the face of challenges, I've been calm amid stress and I've truly embraced ME on levels I didn't know existed. And now I know, regardless of the ups and downs of life--I can always be happy. And I can genuinely feel good about me. And with this, I know--I will be okay.
I picked up my grandson this afternoon. We shopped for him a pair of shoes--and pretty much destroyed the kids section of a local shoe store. I offered to help reorganize and the offer was politely declined. With every new pair he tried, he sprinted up and down the aisle until we found one pair that was the fastest. It was so much fun!
After our shoe adventure, we made our way to Stillwater for a belated Mother's Day dinner with mom.
It was a beautiful evening--and really, just a wonderful day.
Today-- I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained abstinent from refined sugar, I participated in several support exchanges and I exceeded my daily water goal. That's a solid day. I'll aim for another, tomorrow.
I'll let the Tweets take it the rest of the way...
Today's Live-Tweet Stream:
#morningdeal done! Twenty push-ups, ten squats & two cups water✔️✔️✔️ It's coffee time. pic.twitter.com/7lWmKuj1nn— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) May 15, 2016
Good late morning! Dark roast with two tablespoons half & half X 3 cups. 120 cal. pic.twitter.com/jNe4jy4z2I— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) May 15, 2016
Brunch in MFP... pic.twitter.com/5eUfEavw0j— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) May 15, 2016
Mozzarella cheese omelet w/three whole eggs & two slices mozzarella. 4.2oz grilled pork chop & 5.7oz apple. 641 cal. pic.twitter.com/yeR9j67KTE— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) May 15, 2016
Late lunch/holdover until dinner or snack, or whatever I want to call it. It's something something. pic.twitter.com/bBo4K2JFwg— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) May 15, 2016
Holdover until dinner. Approx.4oz banana, 42g whole natural almonds & 1oz sharp cheddar. 434 cal. pic.twitter.com/iE6SQP0F4I— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) May 15, 2016
Dinner with mom and this little guy. pic.twitter.com/VtjdOAXhOi— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) May 15, 2016
Appetizer! 12 tortilla chips and fresh chunky salsa. Joined by Noah's dinosaur and kitty cat friend. ❤️ 172 cal. pic.twitter.com/cUOJkUrSkV— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) May 15, 2016
Dinner in MFP... pic.twitter.com/X2YegZRown— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) May 15, 2016
Amounts approx. Fajita chicken crispy tacos w/8oz chicken, 45g sour cream, lettuce, salsa & 28g cheddar-jack. 640cal pic.twitter.com/CXeEKYStYF— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) May 15, 2016
Noah decided my arm was a resting place for his utensils. Hey, when you're dining with a 3 year old, things happen. pic.twitter.com/qCNkkwQGDF— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) May 15, 2016
Napkin mustache. It's all the rage. The toddlers all have 'em, so he tells me. pic.twitter.com/EFOFaWyGJc— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) May 15, 2016
We celebrated Mother's Day this evening. She's the best! ❤️ pic.twitter.com/Y7hia3eMng— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) May 16, 2016
Three tablespoons half & half in my drive home coffee. 60 cal. pic.twitter.com/b4vUJKzuD5— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) May 16, 2016
2.5 cup h2o= #watergoal Ezekiel toast w/16g nat.pnt butter & 1.4oz apple slices. 95g wtrmln. #lastfoodofday 233 cal. pic.twitter.com/08SwAg4BBB— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) May 16, 2016
Thank you for reading and your continued support,