Friday, September 8, 2017

September 8th, 2017 Felt Way Overdue

September 8th, 2017 Felt Way Overdue

Yesterday's doctor visit was a big reminder for me that it was about time to step on the scale for an official weigh-day. I hadn't weighed since May 18th, nearly four months ago! And I kind of like that space between me and something I made responsible for overwhelming dread and anxiety most of my life. Notice I wrote, "I made responsible," as if to personify this unknowing inanimate object into a place where I could attach blame...stupid scale--I hate you, scale!! Oh, I remember thinking those thoughts. It took years to finally reach a place where I took responsibility for the daily actions I could do prior to scale visits, and then it flipped around, suddenly the scale was my friend. Funny how I didn't allow the scale to take credit for positive progress--oh no, only blame for consequences of past inconsistency. 

I shared my intention of making today a weigh-day because it really felt way overdue, with my closest support friend. She replied: Do your clothes fit well? Yes, of course! And she's right. The main thing for me is the fact that I'm no longer using food as a drug. I'm not cured of this addiction, but I treat it with a daily plan, each day and that keeps me well for as long as I give it the reverence and respect it deserves.

I know what's possible. I regained 164 pounds once upon a time. When I'm not well, I can gain very quickly. Ten to fifteen pounds a month was an easy gain-pace back then.

Today's weigh-in showed another small 1.6 pound gain.

I'm okay with this because I feel good, my clothes fit well, and most importantly, I'm not using food as a drug.

On the other hand, I know what's happening--or at least I think I do! There's a slow gaining trend happening here--I mean, look at the weigh-in numbers from the past two years:

I'm up 7.6 pounds from my all-time lowest of 203.4 in July 2016. This small of a "gain-pace," in my opinion, is directly related to my lack of a consistent exercise schedule and my sleep schedule--also, perhaps the macro-nutrient break down of my food plan isn't always the most favorable. But--I love my food plan, and I feel like me loving it and willfully embracing the boundaries of my plan each day is most important for my long term maintenance. I'm still open to and mindful of possible changes, but for now, I feel great about my food plan.

So that leaves exercise schedule and sleep schedule to tweak. And really, those two aren't direct repairs. If I zero in on trying to "fix" those, it won't work. I've got to start at the root: Time management! If I can improve time management, those two things will naturally improve. I believe that, 100%.

Why didn't I just weigh at the doctor's office--and just make it an "official" weigh-day since I was already there? Great question! I've heard and read this question from two different people today.

Here's the deal: I don't own a scale. If I did, I'd weigh first thing in the morning (and probably too often)--but certainly not late afternoon with two meals in me, like yesterday. Now-- I know, I know, I know--it's not going to make much of a difference, but weigh day has always been something special for me. It's a red letter date, it's a special trip to the doctor, it's done before eating a meal and I wear the same thing at every weigh-in...and it works for me. Part of my "mental accord" requires doing my best to maintain the same variables at each weigh-in. And the doctor's office staff doesn't mind me stopping by anytime for a weigh-in, so why not wait until it's weigh-day on my terms--in the morning! And that's what I did.

By the way, my blood pressure was fantastic yesterday-- and because super high blood pressure was always an issue at my heaviest, seeing 124/68 with a pulse of 58, tells me my heart is physically happy with my continued maintenance!

I'm immensely blessed and extremely grateful.

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded today's water goal, and I stayed well connected with solid support.

Today's Accountability Tweets:

Thank you for reading and your continued support,

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