Wednesday, August 10, 2016

August 10th, 2016 Out Of Nothing At All

August 10th, 2016 Out Of Nothing At All

It was June 24th, 2015 when I officially dropped below 230 pounds. That weigh day, in particular, was significant to me because at 228 it meant I had successfully shed the 164-pound relapse/regain weight plus two pounds. The next weigh day found me two pounds up at exactly 230--and that point, in my mind, was when maintenance mode started-- July 15th, last year.

Finding a maintenance calorie budget was a process. I dropped ten more pounds the next three weeks, upped my calorie budget and still, kept dropping weight, albeit slower and with a few small gains along the way. It wasn't my intention to settle in my current weight range, it just happened. And at 2300 calories for a daily maintenance budget, I've remained in a tight 3.6-pound range since the beginning of May and an overall 8.6-pound range since Christmas. Maintenance is going well. 

My focus each day can't be on the scale. Oh, it could be--I'm saying, it shouldn't be on the scale. I must keep my focus on the daily disciplines of my continued recovery. As long as I remain focused on this level of extraordinary care, my weight will continue to be in a good range. And I know this to be true. I've lived this truth throughout weight loss mode--doing the same things I do now, making them just as important as I do to this day--and the weight loss took care of itself. But...

Yes, there's a but...

Even though I know these things to be true, even though I hear the same things presented in nearly identical ways by those who've traveled this road before me, including world-renowned experts, like Dr. Marty Lerner---AND, even though I have one of the best friends in support anyone could ever hope for in Gerri Helms, who's been there in support via text before and after every weigh-in for over two years, providing twenty-three years of seasoned perspective---I still got weird headed after a small gain today.  
 photo 205.8 weigh day_zpssdcxy8rz.jpg
This represents a 2.4 pound gain. Why did it bother me when it really shouldn't have in the least? I've thought about it all day. Two very silly things...

And if you roll your eyes and curse me for being a big ole baby, I totally understand. I'm simply sharing real thoughts and emotions experienced--some of which, I really thought I was "over."

Some things along this road are never over, they're only managed.

Okay--those two things...

First of all, today's weigh-in took me from over 301 pounds down to a net weight loss of 299.2.

Okay-- you know what? Now that I type it out like this, I really feel silly. BIG DEAL!!!!! Geez... I'm annoying myself right now.

And secondly, even though I'm not trying to lose weight--at all--I think, subconsciously I wanted to hit 199-point something and I thought that might happen today. I mean--the novelty of it interests me, after-all, I haven't weighed under 200 since I was nine or ten years old. Isn't that silly of me? Go ahead, I'm agreeing--no offense. I'm being completely irrational.

I'm creating issues out of nothing at all.

Isn't THAT interesting?

Number one--if I lose any more weight it should probably come as a result of abdominoplasty--something I fully intend to have done as soon as I get my insurance company on board. I'll likely be in the low 190's upon completion of that procedure. So really, what's my problem??

Again--some things along this road are never over, only managed.

I need to make a gratitude list.

When I think about all I'm grateful for in my life--especially when I consider all of the dramatically different ways things could have unfolded, making that super long list isn't hard. It just requires a little more attention. And much less attention on these weird minded--although normal thoughts I gave life to, today.

The bottom line on today: I woke up and lifted a few prayers. I meditated for a few minutes on how I envisioned this day. I did my morning deal of 2 cups water, 20 push-ups and 20 squats before coffee. I reached out for support and I offered support to a few reaching out to me. I prepared some great food in harmony with my plan. I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained abstinent from refined sugar and I met my daily water goal.

Yeah--I need to work on my gratitude list. Goodnight!

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Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

3 comments:

  1. I totally get it. But it is 2 pounds,I know you don't want to see that or minimize it.Our bodies are going to weigh different daily, right? So that's the whole point to you not weighing daily.Please don't get hung up on it that would be the real loss.

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  2. It's amazing how that darn scale can still mess with us, even though we know it's just a small portion of the whole picture. Keep up the great work, Sean! You are inspiring!
    Jane

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  3. Record the data ( I use MFP). Move on about your day. Onward! Learning to observe data for weight maintenance is key.

    Not getting overly happy or sad is helpful-IMO

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