Some days are more challenging than others. Today wasn't easy. I was tired and generally cranky. I left work for a haircut this afternoon--then returned and worked late. More than once, I paused to compose a support text--and more than once I paused for a prayer and some meditations. It's days like today when I'm reminded how fragile this whole thing really is. There was a time when a day like today would be the perfect excuse to binge my face off. But, honestly, it never helped--I mean, let's be real. It never helped. I must remember that on a regular basis.
Life Coach Kathleen recently published a powerful blog post (she has written many). My favorite line from the post titled, Balance, talks about the truth of binge dynamics: "Funny how we do the very thing that adds to our suffering to deal with what we are suffering from, isn’t it?" You can read the entire post at www.totalkathy.com
Mom is in the hospital tonight. Her gallbladder situation has quickly become much worse. She's having surgery in the morning. I'll be going to the hospital to be with her not long after my morning show. I would be there sooner, but we're short staffed at the studio. A colleague of mine was seriously injured in an accident at her home. She's recovering and we're all hoping she returns soon. Until then, there's not a backup.
I exchanged some messages with my cousin tonight. I truly miss that guy. We grew up together. He lives in Minnesota. We don't see each other very often and we don't talk nearly enough, but when we do, it's always a good thing. He just returned from a week stay at Mayo Clinic. His medical situation is serious. His spirits, perspective, and attitude are all amazing. I admire that about him. He's always been strong, to me.
When I think about my mom, my seriously injured coworker, my cousin's medical situation and everything else, including Kathleen's personal epiphany filled post, it reminds me that I better get my gratitude list together.
It's okay for me to have a tired and cranky day. We all do, occasionally, right? At the same time, I think it's important to keep it in perspective and shift the focus away from grouchy--and straight to gratitude and service. I have a lot to be grateful for.
Today I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget. I remained abstinent from refined sugar. I met my daily water goal. And I stayed connected with good support.
Maybe I needed today.
Continuous Accountability Live-Tweet Stream:
2 cups water, 20 squats & 20 push-ups ✔️✔️✔️ #morningdeal complete. I get coffee. Yay. Good morning! pic.twitter.com/OWQHyK4Vtd— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) August 31, 2016
Three tablespoons half & half in this- another three in a refill to-go. 120 cal. pic.twitter.com/Xxi80lroM5— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) August 31, 2016
Breakfast in MyFitnessPal... pic.twitter.com/mYYugdCoTE— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) August 31, 2016
Ezekiel toast-one with 47g avocado, another w/1 slice provolone, 2 whole eggs & 1 egg white. 7.3oz apple. 554 cal. pic.twitter.com/PtZBqRMBDa— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) August 31, 2016
Two tablespoons half & half in my Midmorning cup of dark roast. 40 cal. pic.twitter.com/Bqs9613YST— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) August 31, 2016
Lunch in MyFitnessPal. Not shown: 155g cantaloupe. pic.twitter.com/ieHxU6vNlC— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) August 31, 2016
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) August 31, 2016
Tostadas w/75g beans, 6oz sirloin, 33g red pepper, 2oz mshrms, 2 provolone&15g sr crm. 155g cantaloupe. 596 cal pic.twitter.com/akjnbsbYWH— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) August 31, 2016
I'm always a bit tense right before a haircut. Uhg... Maybe I should let it grow super long! pic.twitter.com/JwkSigDsT6— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) August 31, 2016
Three tablespoons half&half in this afternoon coffee. 60 cal. pic.twitter.com/WPVg9P6bcm— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) August 31, 2016
Dinner in MyFitnessPal... pic.twitter.com/rP3RRnoBZ7— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 1, 2016
Revised dinner in MyFitnessPal... pic.twitter.com/JhkAMnSfmi— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 1, 2016
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 1, 2016
8.25oz chicken breast w/2oz sf bbq sauce. 235g swt.potato w/68g red onion & 2secOOSpray. 2 mini ears corn. 661 cal. pic.twitter.com/3Sa0XXV1la— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 1, 2016
2 cup water bottle equals #watergoal 6.55oz apple w/16g nat.peanut butter & 110g red grapes #lastfoodofday 270 cal. pic.twitter.com/etUgkHm4Mj— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 1, 2016
Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
Prayers offered for your Mom. And you.
ReplyDeleteThe blog I write is private, but I wanted to share something that I wrote today: "I’m sure as a baby, food was in it’s proper place, but somewhere along the lines, food became a relationship, rather than just nourishment — my buddy; the place where I turned when life threw it’s curve balls. I exchanged clarity for a food fog, which enabled me to endure something otherwise unbearable emotionally, and it must have worked, for I attempted to recreate that feeling over and over again. I never got the same ‘ahhh’ sensation but nonetheless, I kept trying.
ReplyDeleteToday I don’t want to be in a fog. How in the world can I make good decisions when I’m doped up on food? I stayed in some very compromising situations in my life for way longer than I should, because I was doped up on food, unable to see logic and act upon solid intuition. Abstinence gave those instincts back to me. I have discernment today, I’m really able to help others because I’m stark-raving clear headed! "
I'm glad you are also present for your mother and cousin. I'll keep both i my prayers
Best wishes for your mom. Food addiction is tough. Kudos for not going back to that awful place. You are right, food is a false fix for dealing with non-food issues.
ReplyDeleteThank you Sean and thank you Gerri Helms. Your mom is in our thoughts. take care.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear all of this
ReplyDeletePrayers sent, Robin