Thursday, August 18, 2016

August 18th, 2016 Make It Another Day

August 18th, 2016 Make It Another Day

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget. I remained abstinent from refined sugar for the 841st day straight. I exceeded my daily water goal. I remained connected with solid support. And I enjoyed a great workout.

I sincerely appreciate the very positive feedback from last night's blog post. Sincerely, thank you.

We're all learning along the way and finding what works for us.

I've had people tell me I shouldn't eat past a certain time-- okay, whatever--I've never worried about the clock and I think I'm doing just fine. 

In my humble opinion, our plan must evolve naturally from within--and the more that plan is in harmony with our most authentic selves, the easier it is to maintain consistency---a place where it feels right, instead of forced. 

I'm open to learning more--I don't know it all and I must always open my mind, ears and eyes, and occasionally stop talking or trying to figure it out--and simply be willing to learn.

I've learned that I'm a compulsive eater, an emotional eater, a stress eater and a food addict deluxe, addicted to refined sugar (and that doesn't mean sugary items exclusively. The refined sugar triggers my "binge switch"--and then it's more-more-more--carbs, sweet, savory--sugar, fat, deep fried--whatever) and once I start, it's on. 

And so, I had to reach a point of understanding, acceptance, and embrace of a plan that requires me to weigh and measure, log my food, adhere to certain boundaries and remain connected with good support. Because without those things, I'm out of control. And for my body type, that means I return to 500 pounds or bigger--and likely die young. 

Reaching that place where the focus in on acceptance instead of resistance, is a matter of perspective. I had to look at it from both sides. I could either resist the path I needed to develop a better relationship with my deeply ingrained food behaviors and just accept a short, morbidly obese life, or I could admit that I'm truly powerless over this and develop a plan I could truly accept and embrace. And with a focus toward the positive freedoms this plan brings and a tight grip of the rails I've installed to hold onto, I miraculously make it another day.

Because here's the bottom line: I don't have will-power. I can't do this alone. And I'm not superman, nor is any of us superhuman. I hold onto rails of support--these rails include my daily spiritual and meditation time, the time I spend reaching for and giving support to others, setting up accountability measures, the weighing, measuring and logging of my food, the planning and the exercise--and the reflections in my daily writing discipline.

Believe me, if I ever appear to have this "all figured out," just know, I don't and I never will. 

All I know is, I had to stop trying to be someone else's normal (the type that never needs to worry about food or set boundaries--the type that goes for a run when they're stressed or instinctively calls a friend when they're emotional, the kind that can eat just one cinnamon roll--and it actually stops right there--those people are blessed). But, am I not blessed beyond measure as well, just in different ways?

I had to embrace my normal. I had to extend myself love and compassion, the same as I would freely give to a loved one or friend. I had to declare, "I'm not broken, I'm perfectly me. And I deserve this level of extraordinary care each and every day." These things I do, are my normal. And it's ok. In fact, it's more than ok.

What's interesting is how the things that I do within my plan might appear to be restrictive and oppressive, but collectively, they're actually liberating in countless ways. 

If you're feeling defeated, hopeless, stressed and generally full of anxiety over where you are, right here, today. I just want you to know, you're not alone. I get it. I really do. Please, be kind to you.

 photo 36thBirthdayMoneyPicture.jpg
Throwback Thursday. This photo was taken October 23rd, 2007, eleven months before Day 1 of this blog on September 15th, 2008.

 photo IMG_2119_zpsmkqzem7l.jpg
Photo taken at speaking event from earlier this year.

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Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

3 comments:

  1. Sean your perspective on 'dieting' is probably the most down to earth I've even read, and believe me I've read PLENTY! I believe one of the contributors to my falling off the wagon all the time is that I'm on someone else's wagon. I start out really hating at least one element of a program and try to force myself to 'do' it. It never lasts for long. I totally agree with your take on this disease. We have to stick with our commitment and make the adjustments that will get us through rather than just giving up totally. Thanks for reminding us that there isn't a one-size-fits-all way. Keep up the good work! and thank you so much for taking the time to share your insights with the rest of us.

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  2. I see you drink a lot of water. Do you drink anything else besides coffee and water. I read your blog all the time you have done so great.

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  3. I have been reading your blog a long time. I remember being jealous as I read about your success in losing your regain because I had lost my way and regained 53 lbs of my original 178 lb. loss. I finally got it together again this spring, found my focus and have re-lost 48 lbs of the 53 lb. regain. You call it your "click." Whatever we call it, it's the most crucial part of both losing weight and maintaining the loss. Without the mindset it's just impossible to do either one. And it's such an intangible, how do we find it, especially when we've lost it? Wish I could bottle it and sell it, I'd get rich!

    What you said though about regaining weight, and if so, likely dying young, really resonated with me. In the end, isn't that what it's all about? Our health is the greatest gift we are given and we need to take care of it.

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