Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget. I remained abstinent from refined sugar for the 841st day straight. I exceeded my daily water goal. I remained connected with solid support. And I enjoyed a great workout.
I sincerely appreciate the very positive feedback from last night's blog post. Sincerely, thank you.
We're all learning along the way and finding what works for us.
I've had people tell me I shouldn't eat past a certain time-- okay, whatever--I've never worried about the clock and I think I'm doing just fine.
In my humble opinion, our plan must evolve naturally from within--and the more that plan is in harmony with our most authentic selves, the easier it is to maintain consistency---a place where it feels right, instead of forced.
I'm open to learning more--I don't know it all and I must always open my mind, ears and eyes, and occasionally stop talking or trying to figure it out--and simply be willing to learn.
I've learned that I'm a compulsive eater, an emotional eater, a stress eater and a food addict deluxe, addicted to refined sugar (and that doesn't mean sugary items exclusively. The refined sugar triggers my "binge switch"--and then it's more-more-more--carbs, sweet, savory--sugar, fat, deep fried--whatever) and once I start, it's on.
And so, I had to reach a point of understanding, acceptance, and embrace of a plan that requires me to weigh and measure, log my food, adhere to certain boundaries and remain connected with good support. Because without those things, I'm out of control. And for my body type, that means I return to 500 pounds or bigger--and likely die young.
Reaching that place where the focus in on acceptance instead of resistance, is a matter of perspective. I had to look at it from both sides. I could either resist the path I needed to develop a better relationship with my deeply ingrained food behaviors and just accept a short, morbidly obese life, or I could admit that I'm truly powerless over this and develop a plan I could truly accept and embrace. And with a focus toward the positive freedoms this plan brings and a tight grip of the rails I've installed to hold onto, I miraculously make it another day.
Because here's the bottom line: I don't have will-power. I can't do this alone. And I'm not superman, nor is any of us superhuman. I hold onto rails of support--these rails include my daily spiritual and meditation time, the time I spend reaching for and giving support to others, setting up accountability measures, the weighing, measuring and logging of my food, the planning and the exercise--and the reflections in my daily writing discipline.
Believe me, if I ever appear to have this "all figured out," just know, I don't and I never will.
All I know is, I had to stop trying to be someone else's normal (the type that never needs to worry about food or set boundaries--the type that goes for a run when they're stressed or instinctively calls a friend when they're emotional, the kind that can eat just one cinnamon roll--and it actually stops right there--those people are blessed). But, am I not blessed beyond measure as well, just in different ways?
I had to embrace my normal. I had to extend myself love and compassion, the same as I would freely give to a loved one or friend. I had to declare, "I'm not broken, I'm perfectly me. And I deserve this level of extraordinary care each and every day." These things I do, are my normal. And it's ok. In fact, it's more than ok.
What's interesting is how the things that I do within my plan might appear to be restrictive and oppressive, but collectively, they're actually liberating in countless ways.
If you're feeling defeated, hopeless, stressed and generally full of anxiety over where you are, right here, today. I just want you to know, you're not alone. I get it. I really do. Please, be kind to you.
Throwback Thursday. This photo was taken October 23rd, 2007, eleven months before Day 1 of this blog on September 15th, 2008.
Photo taken at speaking event from earlier this year.
Continuous Accountability Live-Tweet Stream:
#morningdeal after a strength training routine the night before...yeah-I feel it. 2 cups water, 20pushups-20squats✔️ pic.twitter.com/oCjLxskABs— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) August 18, 2016
Two tbsp half&half in this first cup. 3 tbsp in the refill to-go, out the door-- Good Thursday morning! 100 cal. pic.twitter.com/lrUfIKGpum— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) August 18, 2016
Breakfast in MyFitnessPal. Not shown: 5.7oz apple. pic.twitter.com/7feVvZ2gzB— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) August 18, 2016
2 egg whts, 1 whl egg, 18g olives&2 provolone on Ezekiel bun. 172g cantaloupe, 82g strwbrrys & 5.7oz apple. 584 cal. pic.twitter.com/tJVNRXt16D— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) August 18, 2016
Two tbsp half & half in this Midmorning cup of dark roast. 40 cal. pic.twitter.com/nKVVXSwGbd— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) August 18, 2016
Lunch in MyFitnessPal... pic.twitter.com/LV770LnLou— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) August 18, 2016
184g avocado, 15g sour cream, 47g lettuce & 28g blue corn organic chips. 98g strawberries & 208g cantaloupe. 572 cal pic.twitter.com/bKVKXHMC9j— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) August 18, 2016
After lunch cup of dark roast with two tablespoons half & half. 40 cal. pic.twitter.com/BOK8udImVQ— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) August 18, 2016
Late afternoon something. 2 cups water #watertracking 5.3oz banana & 3.5oz (1/2) apple. 134 cal. pic.twitter.com/e72QR2QphH— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) August 18, 2016
Workout complete. #naturalhigh #endorphinsflowing #sweatydude #needashower pic.twitter.com/Uze7CPncq2— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) August 18, 2016
Decaf with two tablespoons half & half. 40 cal. pic.twitter.com/h9oXMFcZcO— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) August 19, 2016
Tonight's dinner sides... pic.twitter.com/1Sv3PDWLwo— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) August 19, 2016
Dinner in MyFitnessPal... pic.twitter.com/g1DDlGpTDW— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) August 19, 2016
Grilled cod, almost ready! pic.twitter.com/yCIKpbqpdH— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) August 19, 2016
7.2oz grilled cod, 176g fresh cut sweet potato fries, baked w/4secOOSpray & 242g Giorgio stuffed mushrooms. 637 cal. pic.twitter.com/r4cTKVQt05— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) August 19, 2016
Thank you for reading and your continued support,