Saturday, September 3, 2016

September 3rd, 2016 Instant Relief

September 3rd, 2016 Instant Relief

First of all, I must pause and express tremendous gratitude for the outpouring of support for yesterday's blog post--and just generally, throughout the last few days. It's been a wonderful blessing. Again, thank you. I plan on reading your words of support to mom, when I visit with her tomorrow afternoon and evening.

Yesterday I wrote about how I found myself second guessing some of my daily fundamental elements in the face of extreme emotional circumstances. And this morning, it hit me-- the reason why: Fear of judgement, as in someone saying or thinking-- Really?? With all this going on he's over there taking pictures of his almonds and water? Arriving at this conclusion was important for me. I immediately let that nonsense go. Seriously, it was instant relief from that self-imposed thought process.

If someone doesn't know what these things I do means to me, that's okay. I know what they mean to me--and that's all that matters. I don't need to explain--nor should I, ever. If someone asks, I'm happy to tell them how important these daily practices are for my continued extraordinary self-care. Otherwise, what someone thinks or says about me, isn't any of my business.

I'm maintaining a 300-pound weight loss. And by golly, by whatever means necessary. The fundamental elements of my recovery--these daily practices I make important, are important, each and every day--come what may. Because life doesn't stop coming. And if I release my daily practices in response to the fluctuations of life and living--then I'll quickly lose the quality of my life in a downward spiral--and how would that prepare me to better handle life? It wouldn't. It would make everything more difficult, not better or easier, as my brain might try to convince me of in any particular moment. Applying this level of awareness and perspective is always most difficult in the middle of certain moments. The thought that helps me is, these things aren't up for debate with me--they're solid truths...and the truth doesn't change. The only thing that changes in regards to truth is my resistance or acceptance of the truth.

One of the goals along this road, for me--and I would think, for any of us, really-- is to develop a personal plan that we're able to maintain through anything life decides to throw our way.

And when it gets challenging to maintain this perspective, I must be willing to reach for support--and I must be willing to inventory the reasons I do what I do--and the reasons I don't do what I don't do.

I dropped in bed super late last night. I knew i still had a good 7 or 8 hours to sleep, so it was fine--and the same thing is setting up tonight--and I'm okay with this, considering--A. I get to sleep in really well, and B. I'm off work on Monday for Labor Day, so a tilted day tomorrow won't necessarily make Monday difficult.

I was jolted awake by a 5.6 magnitude earthquake shortly after 7am this morning. It was the largest I've felt. The epicenter was less than 30 miles away from my apartment. I've since heard from some who felt it as far away as Chicago.

My apartment shook for what seemed like 30 or 40 seconds, before fading out and stopping. I was able to go right back to sleep. That's how tired I was--I didn't even jump up to check the USGS number...but I knew it was big. I guessed between 5 and 6--and sure enough, 5.6.

Mom continues to improve. I spoke with her and her nurses, first thing this morning. I'm headed down to spend time with her, tomorrow.

I was booked to Dj and emcee a wedding today. It was a long and busy one. I planned, prepared and packed food, just in case.

I'm sore tonight. This proves I worked out--based on natural activity rather than an intentional workout. And I'm good with this,

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget. I remained abstinent from refined sugar, I stayed connected with good support and I met my daily water goal.

Continuous Accountability Live-Tweet Stream:

Thank you for reading and your continued support,


  1. I don't know your mom except through your blog but I feel sure she understands how important maintaining your fundamentals is to you. During this time she's the only one whose opinion matters. She also understands that you're loving yourself does not take away from your love and concern for her. I'm very glad to hear she's well on the road to recovery.

  2. So happy your mom is doing better. Great job on sticking with "diet". I think having all your fundamental elements in place is easy when life is easy, I think they are life savers when life is tough, something to hang on to and keep one place in life calm and sane. Keep on keeping on.

  3. If we don't make ourselves the priority in this maintenance battle, we won't be much good to anybody else. At 328 lbs., it was all I could do to take care of myself. Now, 170+ lbs down, I know I will be capable of tending to my husband's needs as we travel down this cancer road. It is inspiration and motivation, even as the thought of the future terrifies me. So glad your Mom is better.

  4. I read a blog you may have seen written by a woman named Holly who was very large before losing a lot of weight. So large that she couldn't get on a plane to be with either her mother or grandmother when those people were sick and dying. Your weight maintenance and all it takes you to stay there are not frivolous. They are vital to you, and to those you love you and maybe need you to be there for them sometimes.

  5. I'm always amazed at the way you stick to your principles in so many trying situations. You are such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing with all of us.


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