First of all, I must pause and express tremendous gratitude for the outpouring of support for yesterday's blog post--and just generally, throughout the last few days. It's been a wonderful blessing. Again, thank you. I plan on reading your words of support to mom, when I visit with her tomorrow afternoon and evening.
Yesterday I wrote about how I found myself second guessing some of my daily fundamental elements in the face of extreme emotional circumstances. And this morning, it hit me-- the reason why: Fear of judgement, as in someone saying or thinking-- Really?? With all this going on he's over there taking pictures of his almonds and water? Arriving at this conclusion was important for me. I immediately let that nonsense go. Seriously, it was instant relief from that self-imposed thought process.
If someone doesn't know what these things I do means to me, that's okay. I know what they mean to me--and that's all that matters. I don't need to explain--nor should I, ever. If someone asks, I'm happy to tell them how important these daily practices are for my continued extraordinary self-care. Otherwise, what someone thinks or says about me, isn't any of my business.
I'm maintaining a 300-pound weight loss. And by golly, by whatever means necessary. The fundamental elements of my recovery--these daily practices I make important, are important, each and every day--come what may. Because life doesn't stop coming. And if I release my daily practices in response to the fluctuations of life and living--then I'll quickly lose the quality of my life in a downward spiral--and how would that prepare me to better handle life? It wouldn't. It would make everything more difficult, not better or easier, as my brain might try to convince me of in any particular moment. Applying this level of awareness and perspective is always most difficult in the middle of certain moments. The thought that helps me is, these things aren't up for debate with me--they're solid truths...and the truth doesn't change. The only thing that changes in regards to truth is my resistance or acceptance of the truth.
One of the goals along this road, for me--and I would think, for any of us, really-- is to develop a personal plan that we're able to maintain through anything life decides to throw our way.
And when it gets challenging to maintain this perspective, I must be willing to reach for support--and I must be willing to inventory the reasons I do what I do--and the reasons I don't do what I don't do.
I dropped in bed super late last night. I knew i still had a good 7 or 8 hours to sleep, so it was fine--and the same thing is setting up tonight--and I'm okay with this, considering--A. I get to sleep in really well, and B. I'm off work on Monday for Labor Day, so a tilted day tomorrow won't necessarily make Monday difficult.
I was jolted awake by a 5.6 magnitude earthquake shortly after 7am this morning. It was the largest I've felt. The epicenter was less than 30 miles away from my apartment. I've since heard from some who felt it as far away as Chicago.
My apartment shook for what seemed like 30 or 40 seconds, before fading out and stopping. I was able to go right back to sleep. That's how tired I was--I didn't even jump up to check the USGS number...but I knew it was big. I guessed between 5 and 6--and sure enough, 5.6.
Mom continues to improve. I spoke with her and her nurses, first thing this morning. I'm headed down to spend time with her, tomorrow.
I was booked to Dj and emcee a wedding today. It was a long and busy one. I planned, prepared and packed food, just in case.
I'm sore tonight. This proves I worked out--based on natural activity rather than an intentional workout. And I'm good with this,
Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget. I remained abstinent from refined sugar, I stayed connected with good support and I met my daily water goal.
Continuous Accountability Live-Tweet Stream:
Good morning! #morningdeal done. ✔️20 push-ups - 20 squats - 2 cups water. Coffee time. pic.twitter.com/ByEwZJRf2a— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 3, 2016
Three tablespoons half & half in my first cup of day. A refill will happen soon, with same. 120 cal. pic.twitter.com/ITA7C3QEeM— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 3, 2016
Breakfast in MyFitnessPal... pic.twitter.com/BdeArf2O1o— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 3, 2016
2 whole eggs-2 egg whites, stuffed w/95g avocado, topped w/2 slices mozzarella. 6.2oz apple & 47g red grapes. 554cal pic.twitter.com/NZpYJELsaj— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 3, 2016
Three tablespoons half & half in this midday dark roast. 60 cal. pic.twitter.com/98yLDX45u2— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 3, 2016
Lunch in MyFitnessPal... pic.twitter.com/HeKx2J5KfB— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 3, 2016
2 cup bottle of water #watertracking 42g smoked almonds, 1oz sharp cheddar, approx.5oz banana. 450 cal. pic.twitter.com/n9f482pSM0— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 3, 2016
Light dinner or holdover until something else, later... In MyFitnessPal... pic.twitter.com/phKJctYkX3— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 4, 2016
Approx: 1/2 cup mashed pot., 1/2 srv green beans, fried chicken drumette, sml bone-in wing. 175g cantaloupe. 367 cal pic.twitter.com/ynTvGSIriX— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 4, 2016
A few things, or several... pic.twitter.com/LOqnVtZem7— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 4, 2016
Late dinner at home, awe- so glad to be winding down! pic.twitter.com/QxxHjsrkZP— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 4, 2016
I used the dinner category for my "holdover" plate. This in the "snacks" category- make no mistake- this is dinner! pic.twitter.com/yYdFCd6VXZ— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 4, 2016
This is my "it's been a busy-but great, day- winding down, relaxing" cup of dark. With 2 tablespoons half&half 40cal pic.twitter.com/sogudlB8Cx— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 4, 2016
7.5oz sirloin, 251g Giorgio fresh stuffed mushrooms, 165g fresh cut & baked swt.pot fries w/3secOOSpray. 640 cal. pic.twitter.com/JYTMDcqu1h— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 4, 2016
Thank you for reading and your continued support,