Monday, July 10, 2017

July 10th, 2017 Ransom

July 10th, 2017 Ransom

There are some days when it feels like there's a constant vibration of emotional energy, a state of being where you teeter between a few different emotions, any of which could manifest with a dam burst of tears, overflowing with force until it's once again a gentle, fragile stream. I'm rarely in that emotional state--but boy howdy, I was today. My dam didn't burst, but maybe it needed to burst. Am I pregnant? Or is that my daughter? I'm pretty sure it's my oldest daughter who's pregnant.

When I posted last night's edition, I noticed the pictures didn't load properly. Instead of the photos, it said I needed to upgrade my Photobucket file storage account to allow 3rd party hosting. I quickly posted the pictures to the blog without using Photobucket embed codes--the formatting is a little different, and I prefer the way the Photobucket pics embed. But clearly, something was wrong.

I looked through some archived editions--and the pictures were gone on those, too. Replaced with what amounts to a ransom request.

You see--this blog is very special to me. It's a nearly 9-year account of some powerful transformations in my life. It's 2,000 blog pages long--and it's something I'm immensely grateful for, proud of, passionate about protecting, and deeply connected with--and--- wow, when I put it like that, it's like my baby. 

 A big part of my baby is the nearly 2,000 photos shared along the way, 90% of which have been embedded directly from my personal Photobucket storage account. Now, they want money--or else the pictures are gone from this blog, until I pay up. See what I mean? Ransom.

I kept my cool last night. I've had a great experience with Photobucket--I've ordered custom canvas prints--spent a good amount of money with them--and at one time, I paid for a premium membership, and I can do it again, no problem--I mean, really--what could it be?? It should be something reasonable, right?? No. I don't begrudge anyone or any company the right to make a living. It's business--people got to eat and provide for their families. But with millions of Photobucket users, certainly this will be a reasonable amount--I'll happily pay it, and the blog pictures will be restored. Uh--no...

They want $399.00 per year, paid annually, in order for the pictures to remain throughout the archives of this blog. That's nuts.

Some days, support connections reach out to me--and those support exchanges help both of us. Today, I reached out for support from three different people. I had to pause more today than most days, and without this pause--I would have been face first in the food, I guarantee it. It took some intentional actions instead of mindless reactions--and I was talked down from the ledge, so to speak. I don't mean I was about to go off the deep end--I was just catastrophizing the situation. But believe me--I'm VERY capable of going over the deep end. There isn't a magic place where we're somehow immune from the dangers of relapse/regain. If I don't practice these things I make important each and every day, I'm at super high risk.

Good support connections helped me come up with a plan for tomorrow. I'm hoping to reach a real person on the phone and possibly work out a deal of some sort. It's not the end of the world. It's not the end of this blog.

Thank goodness I started transitioning to non-Photobucket stored images about a year or so ago--but still, about 90% of the pics on this blog are affected.

I'm grateful for the tremendous support contacts. I'm grateful for so many things-- to make it through a day like today--and that emotional vibration...and hit the pillow with the integrity of my maintenance plan intact--that, to me, is a miracle.

It's not easy to express such vulnerability. Part of me is wanting to delete this entire post. But I will not. Because this is real--and these days come and thank goodness, they go. And it's never as bad as my affected brain likes to make it in the moment.

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded today's water goal, I stayed well connected with exceptional support, and I rocked a wonderful workout at the YMCA.

Today's Accountability Tweets:
































Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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