May 10th, 2019 Makes Sense To Me
Yesterday was a 4-star day: I maintained the integrity of my calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.
I don't do pain well. I'll admit it--no shame in my pain game. I'm a wimp, straight up. When my pain scale says 8, yours might say 4--but hey, let's not compare. I personally know people who endure chronic pain daily and I have no idea how they do it. I must remember this will pass, I have good medication, and it's just a temporary thing--so enough whining and complaining from me. I'm fortunate, blessed, and grateful. But dang it, I want to feel good again. On a deeper note, because my brain automatically seems to go to deeper places where it finds parallels to other long-running things in my life...
This pain intolerance or intense pursuit of feeling "normal" again reminds me of the pattern I've had with emotions, stress, and food my entire life. Not wanting to feel uncomfortable or flat out refusing to feel uncomfortable or feeling any feelings if those feelings create resistance to feeling "okay," makes sense to me. My deeply ingrained pattern involves avoiding all conflict and accompanying feelings. Avoiding natural feelings of life stunts emotional growth. Avoiding the feels doesn't make 'em go away, it just sets 'em on simmer, below the surface--constantly bubbling up in everything we do. Feeling feelings and working through them instead of around them, changes things dramatically because it encourages real solutions instead of band-aids. My real solution to this sinus infection thing is taking the meds as prescribed. Anyway...
Had it not been for some production and a location broadcast I was committed to doing, I wouldn't have gone to work today. Today has been the roughest with the sinus pressure and resulting pain. On a positive note, a couple actually-- swishing water around in my mouth gives me a little break from it, so I've been drinking water constantly today. I'm at three times my daily water goal and the day isn't over. Also, I finally made it home from work and was able to rest for a few hours. Napping until 7:30pm isn't recommended--but it made sense today. I woke without pain-just a "heavy-headed" feeling. I'll take it. Maybe the meds are circulating enough to make a difference.
Okay--time to prepare my dinner. Something simple, likely tacos--maybe a tostada too--even though I had tostadas for lunch. More rest, more medication, and I'll feel better tomorrow.
Tomorrow includes a broadcast from a grocery store's massive meat sale. I'll work and shop simultaneously, it's a sweet gig. Family is coming up from Stillwater to celebrate Mother's Day weekend with mom. There's a family restaurant outing planned tomorrow afternoon. It's all good.
Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,
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