May 23rd, 2019 What We Thought
Yesterday was a 4-star day: I maintained the integrity of my calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.
I don't claim to know it all. So when I speak or write, it's coming from my personal experience. The learning along this road never stops. Occasionally, I'll get some direct questions, or in the case below, a request...
"Please Tell me some steps to eliminate "all or nothing" thinking."
I don't know if this is what you would call, steps--but here's my opinion:
All or nothing thinking comes from the self-imposed rules we create for our plan. These rules are developed from our lifetime of experience that has created our perception of what it means or what we believe is required to lose weight successfully.
What happens is this: We honor those old perceptions by creating our own set of rules- and maybe these rules are on paper or not- they can exist subconsciously, too... And then, when we do something that isn't in line with these old patterns of thinking- we feel like we've failed... When in reality, we haven't failed at all... But all or nothing thinking suggests we have- and then we get into the, "forget it, why bother" area of our brain.
"That would apply to the number on the scale not matching what we are expecting also, wouldn't it!?"
Yes- the idea is to embrace our plan... And since the scale takes into account about seven different things... We let the scale do what it does. We just embrace our plan and move forward. The scale will catch up. And after a while, if it doesn't, we can modify our plan if needed. The idea is to take the power away from the scale. It's about finding our peace and calm in the embrace of our plan, rather than from a number on the scale.
Because the scale isn't always a direct reflection of our plan. Yet, many times, we allow that number to completely negate our plan- and discourage us- when truly, it wasn't our plan the scale was reflecting on any particular number it shows. Sometimes it is a direct reflection, not of our plan, but of how we're not honoring our plan. Self-honesty is critically important. If we're struggling with maintaining the integrity of the plan we've created, can we simplify our approach into something doable for where we are right now, then allow it to evolve as we accumulate consistency?
It is challenging- but it's completely possible, to simplify our plan. Throw out the preconceived notions, develop a plan where we can consistently hit these "new marks," --and we can feel great about it, instead of constantly feeling defeated because we're not living up to what we thought was required of us to be successful.
The smaller, simplified plan, is one that we can embrace. It's designed for our consistent progress- and it evolves in time. The more consistency we give this new, simplified list of "non-negotiable" elements, the better we feel... Because finally, we're able to focus on a plan we can feel good about-- and one that ultimately, gets us to where we're wanting to go along this road... And wasn't that the goal to begin with?
And when our brains start telling us things reminiscent of the old diet mentality- we must reach for support and a different perspective.
Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,
If you're interested in connecting via social media:
I accept friend requests on MyFitnessPal. My daily food logging diary is set to public.
MFP Username: SeanAAnderson
My Twitter: SeanAAnderson
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