Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Day 114 Those Trusty Scales Know Me So Well

Day 114

Those Trusty Scales Know Me So Well

Tomorrow is weigh day and I feel really good about it. I stopped guessing at a possible loss a couple of weigh days ago. I know where I want it to be, and it’s a realistic expectation based on my performance. We’ll see what the scale says tomorrow. I’m still going to drive the 90 mile round trip to Stillwater to weigh, even though I could weigh at the AMC Clinic without any problem. It weighed me exactly what the “big” scales did in Stillwater last time, but I’m weird. I like a routine. Weigh day means a trip to Stillwater and besides, I get to see my mom and everyone else while I’m there. It’s only fitting that the scales at the Payne County Health Department weigh me because I’ve started so many times by making the trip to those scales. If scales could talk! Oh wait, some do don’t they. But if scales could be sarcastic, I’m sure these Stillwater scales made a few pointed jabs during the last 30 times I’ve weighed there. But now only the last, how many have we had? I’d have to break my stride and go look it up…But only the last several count as far as I’m concerned. Those scales are like an old friend. Always ready to show me what I’m up against to the tenth of a pound. So we’ll see tomorrow, and if you haven’t received the weigh day “update” text, and you would like to be added to my weigh day text list, just send me a private message with your cell phone number. And I’ll make sure an update comes your way!

Yesterday I talked about a friend that was concerned about her husband’s weight and sleep apnea. I called him today and had a short but nice conversation. He told me that he reads this blog and that he really was getting serious about his health. He’s a great man with a wonderful personality and spirit, easily likable, and hard not to care about. I told him that I knew he could do it. I told him of my decreased need for my C-Pap machine since losing weight. He expressed that when he was thinner, he didn’t need it either, so perhaps he’s like me. When I get this weight completely off I’m positive I’ll be completely free of that fancy little contraption every night. That’s exciting, very exciting. If you’ve ever tried wearing a C-Pap mask, it really takes getting used to. When I first started using mine, I didn’t really use it all. It took three months before I ever made it through an entire night with it on. It’s continuous air pressure being blown up your nose. It keeps your air ways open and that allows you to fully rest, that is as long as you can get use to a jet of air up your nose all night. But really it’s not that bad after a while. The differences in my life are night and day, always have been because of the machine. The dangerous consequences of having untreated sleep apnea are pretty scary. I won’t go into detail, you can do a WebMD.com or Wikipedia search of “sleep apnea” and you can read all about it. I totally understand what so many said about yesterday’s blog. I have learned very well that you can’t wave a magic wand and make someone take control of his or her life. Until someone is truly ready, no motivational chat is going to do it. But if they’re ready mentally, the best you can do is set a good example and get out of the way, because they’re gonna do it! A broadcasting mentor once told me that giving advice didn’t work because people that are “ready” don’t need it and people that are not “ready” won’t heed it.

Tonight I was flying solo at the YMCA. Courtney had a tutoring appointment from 7 to 9, and we think Irene may have a hernia. She goes back to the doctor Thursday. After Amber and KL took off I made my way into the fitness center and climbed aboard the trusty treadmill. I listened to music on my iPod and watched “The Biggest Loser” while I pounded out a solid, sweaty, and burning two miles at 3.4 mph. I so could have made it a “treadmill 5K” (much more intense than a regular 5K in my opinion), but I didn’t have time before they closed. I’ve never gone out of my way to watch “The Biggest Loser”, but when I do, I can totally relate to everything they say. I couldn’t hear them tonight, but I could see their tears of joy as they weighed in to big time results. I know exactly what they’re feeling. When I stepped on the scale after that first two weeks and found myself 21 pounds lighter, I have to admit I had a trembling lip. It’s emotional because it’s a life long battle for most “losers” and for the first time, they can see victory over something that has threatened their life for years. I may have a trembling lip or two when I weigh and break the 100 pound mark, and for me—especially the 115 mark. When I break 115, I may drop a few tears of joy. That’s some serious triumph. But I have to say; I could never be on that show. You know why? Because they make the guys take off their shirts on national television every weigh day. That would be a deal breaker for me. I dated Irene for more than a year before she ever caught a glimpse of me shirtless. Remember me blogging about quitting a basketball team during practice because the coach told me to be on “skins”? Yeah, I’m really self-conscious about my man boobs. Some of my most hurtful childhood memories center around being made fun because of them, I remember when I was about 10 years old, a full grown man telling me I needed to wear a bra. I can remember every little detail about that encounter…The weather that day, what time it was, what he looked like, and how it made me so sad. So I guess that’s one of my “issues.” My roommate in Los Angeles was as big as me and he didn’t care what anyone thought of his looks period. He even completely disrobed one time and jumped in a pool naked on national television. He just didn’t care. I sometimes wish I had a fraction of that attitude, but I’m different, completely. It will be nice to get this weight off, get the full body tuck, and completely sculpt a body I’ve only dreamed of, then walk out in the middle of a big public pool area and take off the shirt without any hesitation. I dream of that day. Good night and…

Good Choices,

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