Tuesday, June 23, 2015

June 23rd, 2015 Digging My Normal

June 23rd, 2015 Digging My Normal

I wasn't feeling 100% better early this morning as I slowly made it back to work. No fever, so I needed to be there. My original plan of leaving early didn't work out and it turned out to be fine, because as the day progressed, I felt progressively better.

I enjoyed some really good food today. My dinner tonight turned out to be a case of my eyes being bigger than my stomach (see the tweet below). I ended up not eating several ounces, adjusted the calorie count down and was fine. The lower dinner count made for a bigger #lastfoodofday!

Tomorrow is weigh day. Tomorrow could very well be the day I return to my previous goal weight of 230. As much as I write about not necessarily having a goal weight this time around, I can't help but feel a sense of "goal weight weigh day" coming on.

It makes sense. During my initial 275 loss, I was focused on the number 230 from the very beginning. Don't ask me how I knew it would be a good weight for me, a healthy weight, because I don't know. A good guess, I suppose. It is a good weight for me. But it may not be where I settle.

I feel fine, I love the way my clothes fit, I do double and triple takes when I see my reflection in a window--because it seems even smaller than it did before. Throughout my relapse/regain period, I noticed the weight gain happens in different places on the body. It only makes sense that it's lost differently too, especially considering my more consistent workout schedule and the light amount of weight training.

I don't believe I have too much left to lose, really, if any. Increased workout plans, continuing to eat well and basically doing what I've been doing--with perhaps some added calories, may result in more weight loss--or, when I commit to a much bigger weight training plan, a weight gain.

I don't know. And really, I think it's okay to not know, right now. The most important thing for me, I believe, is to maintain--not weight; maintain the fundamental elements of my recovery.

For me, I truly believe if I maintain these elements--the abstinence from sugar, the application of recovery principles--the support and accountability measures and the solid and sacred reverence for my overall food sobriety--then the maintenance will essentially take care of itself.

If I let go of what's brought me this far (I have ZERO thoughts and plans to do that), then I'm destined to struggle and regain. One day at a time, I'll embrace my normal. I'm actually digging my normal. And I'm not sure I could have honestly typed that onto the page fifteen months ago.

I maintained the fundamental elements of my recovery, today. I'll do my best to do the same, tomorrow. 

My Tweets Today:
























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

6 comments:

  1. I just listened to that song. I can understand why you like it. You definitely are taking back your life!

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    1. Oh my, Katrin--it's a powerful song! When It's playing--it doesn't even feel like I'm working on that elliptical, I swear.

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  2. Never heard of Rachael Platten, but I just downloaded that song on iTunes. Definitely adding to my workout playlist!

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    1. Kaitlin, glad you downloaded it! Inspiring song!!

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  3. I have a feeling you are going to be just as successful in maintenance as you were in losing this time. You have the right attitude, and have learned from your past mistakes. Cheering you on!

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    Replies
    1. Grace, I really appreciate you writing those words. It's a very different perspective this time, for sure. I'm very blessed to have great people like you, pulling for me every step. Thank you!!

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