I usually pass on sharing the "Facebook Memories" that occasionally pop up when I log into my facebook account. But today's, from four years ago, held a lot of truth. The fact that I shared the thoughts below, very near the beginning of my 164-pound relapse/regain period, is sobering. This further illustrates how none of us are ever immune to going back. All we have is today's awareness and practice.
July 27th, 2012:
I post a bunch of reminders, ideas and perspectives on weight loss here. I do it in hopes of helping someone, anyone who might relate and identify with the challenges along this road. But that's not the only reason. I also post these for me. My continued recovery depends on my awareness AND practice of elements critical to my success. I gain inspiration and motivation from you and I sincerely appreciate your incredible support. Choosing change isn't a temporary diversion, it's a practice, an ongoing education about ourselves and what we need to enjoy the rest of our lives free from the physical and mental restrictions of obesity.
I sincerely appreciate the wonderful feedback about yesterday's post. Regular reader, Vickie, offers some valuable insight:
"Wanted to add what I call the "loop" to your sugar conversation. I have seen many people think they are okay with sugar because one sugar does not lead to another sugar. Instead, they have a loop going with sugar-salt-fat. So ice cream might lead to potato chips which leads to fried chicken. In any combination. So they THINK they are okay with "everything in moderation" because ice cream does not lead to ice cream. But ice cream is the start of a trifecta. And the loop can continue, just rolling on, once it gets going. This is a really important point."
Thank you, Vickie! That resonates very well. It wasn't just sugar for me. The sugar might have created the biochemical reactions--and it led straight to all kinds of things in excess--just like you describe, the high fat items, the salty snacky items--more high fat stuff... It certainly wasn't ever exclusively a sugar thing. Sugar lit the fuse on the loop, as you put it--over and over again. Well written, my friend.
"I totally agree with you and I think this is me. I don't like a lot of sugar, in fact, if I eat something sweet I often feel a bit "yuck" and "over-sugared." I certainly don't turn to more sugar, so for a long time I resisted thinking sugar was a problem for me. But sugar makes me want salt/fat to "balance" it. Then after that maybe something a little bit sweet to finish off a meal. Then... and so on.
Actually for me, I'd say it's all simple carbs rather than just pure sugar. Anything that is quickly converted to sugar in my blood.
Knowing all this hasn't magically made it easy to change though. Many failed attempts to change my diet, still working on it."
Natalie, I think we're a lot alike. Aside from ice cream, I never really considered myself a "sweet things," binge eater. When I write or speak about how the sugar led to "more more more," I'm referencing anything and everything, not just sugar loaded things.
My binge behavior often involved ice cream, yes--lots of sugar and fat in ice cream--but mostly these behaviors involved lots of fast food items, hot convenience store deep fried deli items, pizza and other non-sweet things. But the "loop," as Vickie put it, makes sense. I can clearly identify how it would start with super doses of sugar--from the ice cream or several bowls of sugary cereal or whatever it was...whatever came next could be anything and everything and for who knows how long before I tried to reign it in enough to try again.
When I combined the very real biochemical induced compulsions of addiction with my deep seeded dependence on food to buffer every emotion and stress, it was the perfect storm for me to remain a 500-pound man and continue a life plagued by stunted emotional growth.
The support groups I cofacilitate with Life Coach Kathleen and Life Coach Gerri are almost sold out for the next session. We have two remaining spaces for the regular Tuesday night group. If you're interested, email me at: Transformation.Road@gmail.com and I'll reply with a link to register.
I've regularly shared about the groups and my partnership with Kathleen and Gerri--but tonight I wanted to once again introduce you to Kathleen's blog if you haven't discovered it already. It's very powerful, incredibly inspiring and very real. Rather than me telling you about Kathleen's epic trek, I'll let Kathleen's writing tell the tale. I'll say this--it's a powerful testament to what's possible when we decide to choose change instead of allowing change to choose us. I hope you'll check out her blog: www.totalkathy.com
Today was busy, but very productive. I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained abstinent from refined sugar, I exceeded my daily water goal and I stayed connected and active with tremendous support interactions.
Great day. I'll give it a go and shoot for the same, tomorrow!
Continuous Accountability Live-Tweet Stream:
#morningdeal Squats a little sore...after stairs last night! 20 push-ups, 20 squats & 2 cups water. ✔️Done. Coffee X pic.twitter.com/S72YguGGoV— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) July 27, 2016
Happy Wednesday! 2 tablespoons half&half in my first cup of day. This & refill to go w/3 tbsp half&half. 100 cal. pic.twitter.com/uFCSFhJRyW— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) July 27, 2016
Breakfast in MFP... pic.twitter.com/rSoWukKPMS— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) July 27, 2016
2 whl eggs-1 egg wht w/93g avocado. Ezekiel tst w/.5oz cream cheese & 18g SF raspberry all-fruit. 173g apple. 551cal pic.twitter.com/q3bjnx2IpE— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) July 27, 2016
Two tablespoons half & half in this Midmorning cup of coffee. 40 cal. pic.twitter.com/nWe1Sii1jT— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) July 27, 2016
Holdover until late lunch: Bean Dip&Chips. 130g ff-sf beans, 15g onion, 2 tbsp salsa, 15g sr crm & 28g chips. 236cal pic.twitter.com/aX40N4eZhT— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) July 27, 2016
Another. Two tablespoons half & half. 40 cal. pic.twitter.com/jkZL8O1Pgp— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) July 27, 2016
2nd holdover until late lunch: 4.9oz banana 78 cal. pic.twitter.com/yrGMxZB8Gz— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) July 27, 2016
Lunch in MFP... pic.twitter.com/D4wm6HkRMf— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) July 27, 2016
Two Fit&Active SF Flatbread mushroom pizzas w/124g SF marinara, 6oz mushrooms & 4 slices mozzarella. 488 cal. pic.twitter.com/IF6ldyOiUQ— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) July 27, 2016
Busy night! Late dinner coming together.— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) July 28, 2016
Almost... pic.twitter.com/F9g0CIS1RZ— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) July 28, 2016
Dinner in MFP... pic.twitter.com/StSoLC5BeD— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) July 28, 2016
8.4oz chckn brst tndrlns, 93g onion, 125g orng peppr, 185g catfish, 1.5tbsp crn meal, egg wht&3secOOSpray. 578 cal. pic.twitter.com/8qbEuyVQT8— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) July 28, 2016
Thank you for reading and your continued support,