"This is taking forever, I don't know if I have the patience." I heard that from a friend recently. I recognized it right away because I remember saying something to that effect on many occasions throughout my "dieting career."
I had a bad habit of looking for my peace, calm, and thrills, basically, in that number on a scale. I chased it wildly. What I realize now is how my expectation of the scale providing these things, sent me in a diet mentality frenzy to manipulate the scale-- what can I do to get that positive affirmation from the scale??? I contemplated all sorts of things-- should I fast? Should I kill myself in the gym, or walk ten miles a day??
Changing the focus from the scale to the integrity of my daily plan boundaries was a life changer. I started writing about this dynamic I referred to as a "confident patience" back in 2009. Here's the thing: Confident patience only works with 110% honest commitment to the boundaries of our plan. And before then, it's important to make sure the plan is doable. Is this sustainable indefinitely? Once we find our plan--the one we can do, the boundaries that are livable in the real world of our lives--then, we keep it--and we take care of it, we protect it.
And if we give the integrity of the plan a super-stringent level of self-honesty and commitment--then we can hit the pillow each night, knowing we made it another day--knowing that we've done all we can do--and it's then we feel a real sense of peace, calm, and stability. I'm confident I maintained my plan today. And if I'm doing that--if you're doing that--then suddenly, time doesn't matter. Let time do what it does. This isn't a race. The scale will do what it does. Let it. And realize, it's a data point, not a cheerleader or bully. If we're confident in the integrity of our plan and we're still not getting positive progress, a personal plan evaluation is a good idea. Often times a few tweaks can make all the difference.
Now--on the other hand--beware of this: I can remember many times complaining about my plan "not working," but in reality, I wasn't working. Many times I couldn't honestly say I was taking extraordinary care of my plan--I was fudging it all the way--then laying the blame on anything and everything I could--except me!
There is a place of confident patience. Confidence in our plan, patience for where it's leading us.
From 2009:
My last official weigh day I checked in at 349, the “Lose To Win” final weigh-in I was 347, and today the scales showed 341. A loss of 8 pounds in the last two weeks! It's not the 339 I was hoping for, but next weigh day I'll hit it for sure! I've lost a total of 164 pounds so far! I love it!
“Not the 339 I was hoping for,” really? Did I really expect a ten-pound drop? How silly of me. What I've learned along the way is this: A confident patience is needed every day. When you're doing the things you know are right and good and you lay your head on the pillow at night knowing that your calorie budget is solid and your exercise is good, a confident patience can come over you. It's calming. It's re-assuring. That confident patience says “I'm doing what's right and I'll get to where I'm headed along this road. However long it takes isn't of concern really because I know that I'm doing right by this every day.”
From 2010:
The ups and downs, the fluctuations, the tough days and struggles---they come and go, but the confident patience remains strong. I really wanted to be in the 330's a year ago---and here I am getting ready to dive into the 240's. Confident patience. Forgetting about time and just doing what's right today. One day at a time adds up real quick. Confident patience.
Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget. I remained refined sugar-free. I exceeded my daily water goal. And I stayed very well connected with exceptional support.
I remain open to learning each day--and I stay humble, because I believe successful/continued recovery in maintenance mode or going back the other way, are "places" with the biggest consequences separated by the smallest of choices.
Today's Accountability Tweets:
Thursday already? Here we are! #morningdeal 2 cups water, 30 push-ups & 20 squats starts the day- head in the game! ✅Done. Coffee X pic.twitter.com/qMqkAFkDzP— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 23, 2017
Two tablespoons half & half in my first cup of dark roast. Three tablespoons half & half in the to-go cup, soon. 100 cal. pic.twitter.com/obYRAu6roC— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 23, 2017
Big breakfast in MyFitnessPal... pic.twitter.com/NyI4h0N05x— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 23, 2017
Ezekiel toasts-one w/1 whl egg, 1 wht&1 slice provolone. One w/124g avocado, simply w/salt&pepper. 4.9oz apple&118g Cara Cara orange. 652cal pic.twitter.com/FJlgJ3tf90— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 23, 2017
2 tablespoons half & half in this midmorning cup of coffee. It's good. 40 cal. pic.twitter.com/DF0A4fcMUf— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 23, 2017
99g banana & 123g red seedless grapes. 169 cal. pic.twitter.com/f6Jktp6TED— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 23, 2017
2 cup bottle of water with lunch #wateraccountability pic.twitter.com/Oa6t1SYpJu— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 23, 2017
Lunch in MyFitnessPal. Not shown in screen shot: 50g red seedless grapes. pic.twitter.com/2NmduCusoS— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 23, 2017
Joseph's pita w/6oz fajita beef, 3/4oz crm cheese, 1 slice provolone, lettuce&30g sr. cream. 144g Cara Cara orange & 50g red grapes. 583 cal pic.twitter.com/plISt8j1Ep— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 23, 2017
Late afternoon meeting. 4 cups water meets #watergoal pic.twitter.com/3kW9qDQfEX— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 23, 2017
2 tablespoons half & half in this post-meeting cup of coffee. My version of, "I need a drink." 40 cal. pic.twitter.com/6mE8sn2D1i— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 23, 2017
Dinner in MyFitnessPal... pic.twitter.com/gHiWruzGl1— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 24, 2017
2 cups water with dinner exceeds #watergoal pic.twitter.com/mvPWwpNiyx— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 24, 2017
5.7oz top sirloin, 232g red potato, baked w/4secOOSpray, topped w/2 slices thin mozz & 15g sour cream. 78g red pepper, 70g red onion. 635cal pic.twitter.com/3naQBCZOqK— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 24, 2017
You can always tell what's on sale 'round here, simply by the frequency of certain items. Red bell peppers- 2 for $1 & top sirloin, 3.99lb!— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 24, 2017
1.5 cups water further exceeds #watergoal 5oz Pink Lady apple #lastfoodofday 70 cal. pic.twitter.com/WsRoCZRztX— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 24, 2017
Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
Yes indeed. All my past failures were failures because I wasn't doing it my way. Your minor mention of tweaks was a major turning point for me. Years ago I read an awesome book by Registered Dietician Anne Fletcher titled Thin For Life, a book about real people who have lost and kept off weight. In it she mentioned that the most successful people were those wo took a diet plan and tweaked it to make it THEIRS.That one simple sentence was such a turning point for me, giving me permission to make something rigid totally mine - that I've since been in email correspondence with the author to let her know how helpful that book was to me. Yes, this is all so much more than numbers quickly going down, isn't it? It's a whole package and then some. - Sheryl
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