Mom is doing better today/tonight. She dined with her new friends in the dining room--and that's a sure sign she's feeling better. Last night was deeply concerning--the surface symptoms seemed to indicate something far worse, but after numerous tests, the worst of it has been ruled out. She still has a very serious urinary tract infection--and it's being treated aggressively, and that right there could be responsible for some of her adverse reactions/symptoms. I'm confident and the doctors and nurses are confident she'll be fine. That's a mom update! I spoke with her a few times on the phone and stopped in for a visit tonight.
I don't always feel right sharing intimate details of mom's life in this blog, but I certainly have her permission and blessing. I do share, not everything mind you, but most of these circumstances, because her wellbeing is super important to me--it affects me emotionally, and my history shows a lengthy track record of emotional eating--and, well--this is a diary--the daily diary, and writing about what I'm feeling/experiencing is important for me and the stability of my daily plan.
Sacrificing my plan wouldn't and couldn't comfort me--and it certainly wouldn't/couldn't magically fix all of mom's ailments. Maintaining the stability and integrity of my plan contributes in monumental ways toward better emotional/mental balance. Staying on plan is calm. Being off plan is chaos.
Why did I ever think off plan would be helpful for life's emotional/stressful challenges? Deep down I knew it never would--but deep down I wasn't looking for it to deliver anything other than an escape or distraction far far away from the reality in front of me. Some people say "Calgon, take me away," Mine was "Calzone, take me away!" Now, instead of running away--I deal with things, try to work through them--pray about them, I'll meditate, talk about them, write about them--FEEL them, and somehow it turns out okay.
Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget. I remained refined sugar-free. I just met my daily water goal. And I stayed well connected with great support.
My food day was wildly tilted, but I knew this would be part of today's deal considering a 6am this morning bedtime--yeah--that wasn't the best, but it couldn't be helped in the circumstance. It's one day. And I'll work to "correct the clock," tomorrow.
My youngest daughter will deliver my second grandson in April. Oliver will make Noah a big brother--and oh my, we're very excited. This pregnancy has proven to be a challenge for Courtney. She needed some rest tonight, so with some assistance from a good friend of mine, I have Noah with me through tomorrow late afternoon. We watched the movie Storks tonight--well, he did--Po Po (that's what he calls me) fell asleep...that's why it's almost 2:30am! I woke up--he went to bed willingly, peacefully--happily, and po po writes his blog and eats some fruit!
It doesn't take much to touch and move me. When I open an email from someone sharing their story with me and telling me how something I've shared has helped them--I get emotional. I can't help it--I'm a sensitive guy. I've never been a big, tough, thick-skinned macho man type who owns tools and knows how to change their own oil. I'm just not that kind of guy. I cry. And it feels so good sometimes. You know what I mean?? A good, deep, cleansing cry cleans my emotional windshield-giving me a clearer vision of what's real, what's now and what's important.
Michelle shares a wonderful email with me about powerful things resonating within her lately. In the spirit of passing it on, perhaps her enthusiasm and breakthrough thoughts might resonate with you, too. Michelle, thank you for making the time to sit down and share this beautiful message and thank you for your permission to publish.
My name is Michelle and I have been following your blog and Facebook for several years now. It’s safe to say that I’ve been a yo-yo dieter my entire life. Much like a smoker who has quit 20 times over the past 20 years – I’ve been up and down all over the scale.
About 8 years ago, on one of my countless attempts at dieting – I turned to the wonderful world of the internet for the latest and greatest tips and tricks. There I was quickly introduced to a new(to me) world of bloggers. It was exciting. An entire world of real people going through the same thing as I was.
I had my favorites, yours among, that I always returned to whenever I was on one of my “dieting” phases. Over the years, I have indeed learned that much like myself, many of them also deal with the same issues I do. Gain/Re-Gain, self-doubt, emotional issues…on and on. Not going to lie, it left me sad and discouraged for both them AND myself as I and they regained and didn’t achieve sustainable maintenance.
However, I kept at it as did some of my favorite bloggers – and out of that time of uncertainty came a beacon of light in you! You managed to not only achieve a monumental weight loss – but after your relapse/regain (to use your own words) did the mental/emotional/physical work necessary to conquer what could have seemed like an impossible task. You did not give in, you created your non-negotiables and you stayed accountable.
AND YOU STILL DO
I’m not much of a commenter, but I really wanted to reach out to write and let you know how inspiring your dedication has been and I can’t even tell you how much I ADORE the new podcast. For the first time in my entire life, the idea that I need to find a way of life that sustains my health and weight loss goals entered my brain. It seems so obvious, and maybe I’ve had versions of that in my head before – but it seems so much more intuitive now. I need to eat for fuel. Not for comfort, amusement, anger, frustration. I need to learn to FEEL MY FEELINGS, not eat them. I’ve spent much of the last month really tuning into my responses to what’s going on when I felt a huge desire to drink a glass of wine or eat a bag of chips.
I discovered that often it was an almost immediate response to a fight with my boss or my husband annoying me or some other challenging situation. What it was wasn’t important, but the important takeaway to me was that when I had those situations, my subconscious sought the “comfort” of my trigger foods. Funny, prior to taking the time to feel – it would never have occurred to me that I was an emotional eater. Oh, how I fooled myself.
I remember times, as far back as being 5 or 6, when I can clearly recall turning to food as a “friend” and a band aid to things in life that left me sad, angry, alone……. I’m working through it – and for the first time, I am open to the idea of therapy if necessary.
I love the idea of figuring out what is SUSTAINABLE for me. The advice of yourself and your experts has been key in me working out a plan. Not that your/their plan is what I’m doing, per se, but it enforces the concept that I need one and that I need to make it a fluid one so I can tweak and fine tune as I go along. I especially enjoyed the last interview with Joy Bauer. She said, and I’m starting to believe, that consistency is most important aspect of life. A few extra glasses of wine or overindulging on vacation does NOT mean I’m a failure, only that I’m human.
I’m committed to doing the work and I want to thank you for providing me with not only such a helpful tool in your blog/podcast – but with the inspiration and example of how you live your plan.
So, thank you so much. I’ve lost 11 pounds this month – but I’ve also lost the need for instant perfection and results. I know it’s going to take time, and I’m granting myself the gift of patience to reach my goals. I’ll be anxiously awaiting each new podcast (your voice is so calming..chills me right out!) and blog post! I selfishly wish there could be a new one every day, hahah.
Regards from Pennsylvania,
Oh, Michelle--yes yes yes!!! You're granting yourself the gifts of extraordinary care! Love, "I'm granting myself the gift of patience..." And my goodness--consistency beats intensity. Thank you, again!
Today's Accountability Tweets:
I shouldn't be up yet! More rest later, certainly. 2 cups water, 20 push-ups & 20 squats ✅Done #morningdeal before coffee. Every day. pic.twitter.com/MrYA8FRP6T— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 25, 2017
2 tablespoons half & half in my first cup. Another in the second cup, soon. 80 cal. pic.twitter.com/RKC5kw3lAs— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 25, 2017
Brunch in MyFitnessPal. Not shown in screen shot: 4.8oz Pink Lady apple. pic.twitter.com/ISTbJLKXyN— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 25, 2017
5.1oz petite sirloin, 1 whl egg, 1 wht w-1/2oz crm cheese on sprouted grain Ezekiel, 175g red pot.-baked w/4secOOSpray & 4.8oz apple. 648cal pic.twitter.com/AGkngGbryy— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 25, 2017
2 tablespoons half & half in this afternoon cup of dark roast. 40 cal. pic.twitter.com/ZVQAU0df4E— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 25, 2017
Sleeping schedule preempted lunch today. :)— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 26, 2017
Appetizer: Chips & Salsa Dressing made with four tablespoons salsa & 15g sour cream. 200 cal. pic.twitter.com/XRJLBPnLzd— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 26, 2017
Dinner in MyFitnessPal... pic.twitter.com/ZZRGxkPf9s— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 26, 2017
Three Sour Cream Chicken Crispy Tacos w/6oz fajita chicken, 45g (3tbs) sour cream, lettuce & 28g white cheddar. 565 cal. pic.twitter.com/3yzWdLGhJH— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 26, 2017
2 tablespoons half & half in this cup of "watching a movie with my grandson," coffee. 40 cal. pic.twitter.com/fD8OTuAe0V— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 26, 2017
48g (3 tbs) natural peanut butter & 39g banana on sprouted grain Ezekiel. 510 cal. pic.twitter.com/hOaoZrR1J8— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 26, 2017
Need every drop of this 3 cups to hit #watergoal 5.4oz orange & 5oz apple slices is #lastfoodofday 141 cal. pic.twitter.com/Yjt0Rlyj3Q— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) February 26, 2017
Thank you for reading and your continued support,