February 9th, 2017 Mental Permission
Weigh-Day has always been an event for me. I don't own a scale and I like it that way. If I owned one, I'd likely be on it way too often. If I weighed too much, I might start making decisions based on the natural fluctuation of the scale--and just as the scale can be wonky, these scale based actions would be wonky too. Instead of chasing the scale, I'm choosing to bring that energy into my daily plan. Because if I continue doing that, the scale will take care of itself. Does that make sense?
The weigh-day event requires a special trip to my doctor's office where I can weigh on the same scale, every time. I hadn't weighed since December 14th when I checked in at 205.0 -a maintenance weigh-in with a minuscule two-tenths of a pound gain. Almost two months between weigh-ins isn't ideal for me--so I've decided I'll weigh once a month. Every four weeks is better. Today the gain was a little more.
I'd love to say that a 2.2 pound gain doesn't bother me in the slightest. I mean really, it's still within a nice range. But it did, a little. I think mainly because I've created so many reasons to feel bad about my inconsistent (and sometimes non-existent) workout schedule--especially over the last couple months--and anything that I feel isn't up to my best effort, like sleep schedule and time management skills, eating too late--and maybe, just maybe, it's time to admit their effects on me. Tight maintenance weigh-ins over the last year have given me mental permission to remain in denial about those things that seem to challenge me. A 2.2 pound gain over the last two months certainly isn't the end of the world--and I'm not making it bigger than it needs to be-- I'm simply saying, maybe it's just enough to encourage me in a more productive direction with these other elements.
I've got to reel it in. Are there improvements to be made? Yes. Am I working on those things? Of course. Is maintenance mode going really well? YES! I suppose it's fairly normal, at least for me-- to feel the twinge of "gain-pain." But when I lay it all out on the table for inventory purposes, I must acknowledge all the good--all the consistency--and the very blessed position I'm in and have been in for awhile. I'm grateful. I love being here.
Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget. I remained refined sugar-free. I met my daily water goal. I stayed well connected with amazing support. And I enjoyed a combination stair-master/elliptical workout at the YMCA.
Thank you for reading and your continued support,